QUOTE (Cain @ Feb 7 2009, 04:53 AM)
Right now, I'm deciding on what to teach my five year old daughter about self-defense. What she's being taught to do is defend, then run away and get a teacher. That should be enough for the schoolyard.
I'm not quite sure how effective that'll be in the long run. Schoolyard conflict isn't like other kinds of fights. It's 100% social posturing and acting dishonorably has far worse consequences than being beaten up does in those situations.
When I was in school, one of the most important rules was that you never tell a teacher. It was against the code. Everybody knew it. Even the teachers knew it. And you don't break the code.
There were other rules to, of course, though less well enforced. One of them was that that fights could be settled with simple equity, if both parties agree to it. The party that was struck gets a number of free hits equal to the number of times he or she was hit. And that works because most kids who try to start a fight really don't want to go through with it, and it allows things to end in a controlled manner with both parties saving face. Ideally, the fight ends with both parties respecting each other, if not being friends.
Of course, this really only applies to conflicts between boys.
Girls fight for social reasons, too. But it is different with girls. Girls, for the most part, don't have to worry about principles such as honor the same way that boys do. Their fights have fewer rules, if any at all. They tend to be rather savage gang attacks perpetrated by friends of the victim for the purpose of establishing pure social dominance, essentially depositing the victim at the bottom of the group's social hierarchy. It is the extreme form of relational aggression; while boys beat up their enemies, girls beat up their friends.
I'm not well versed in the customary rules for violence between schoolgirls, but I can say with some certainty that running away and getting a teacher would be just as socially disastrous for a girl who is on the receiving end of a pummeling as it would be for a boy. You have to maintain control and self-discipline and avoid signs of weakness or cowardliness. This might mean fighting back and winning, successfully asserting personal dominance, it might mean fighting back and and reaching a position where the attacker chooses to call it a draw, or it might mean that taking the blows with a wide smile and occasionally suggesting that the attacker hit harder if no other defense is feasible.
Of course, these concerns only apply to social posturing, which schoolyard fights are, and not to other self-defense issues.
I will say that the only safe retreat is a tactical retreat, and that it is important to know when it is appropriate to use deadly force. In some situations, such as a quick snatch and grab, running is never an option, and your left with no realistic options other than stabbing femoral arteries or capitulating and facing probable death.
I'm going to say, with guns, it really depends. Seriously, you can't outrun a bullet. But, more importantly, every weapon has both a minimum and a maximum effective range. The key is to remain either outside the maximum, or inside the minimum, so that they can't bring the weapon to bear against you. Pistols have very low minimum ranges, you'd have to practically be grappling the gunman. But, it is possible for a normal human being with no special training to sprint 15 feet and stab a trained shooter to death before he can bring a holstered weapon to bear (which is why cops are allowed to shoot people with knives who are within 15 feet). Is it ideal? No, but it ends the threat.
I'm also going to say that humans are natural predators; we're genetically programed to stalk, chase, and kill. And when dealing with predators in a predatory mode, running is the stupidest possible response. Running is what food does. Running from a predator merely invites pursuit, and being perused invites being eaten. This is even worse when you're dealing with packs or groups, since you get the whole bunch of them after you. The slow and clam retreat is the only viable retreat. The trick is to at least appear potentially dangerous while disengaging. This applies to muggers just as well as it does to mountain lions and feral dogs.
Of course, mountain lions cannot open doors, so simply ducking into a nearby building would be useful with them, if you can do it without running. People are more clever, but there are these things called locks that can slow them down. There are also these things called claymore mines that you can set up for when they get through the lock, though I'm not sure if doing that would be entirely legal.
The most important aspects of self defense are situational awareness and following your instincts. Know where the exists are, know where the other people are, know if your in a well lit area or a dark one. Most importantly, if you feel afraid or uneasy, don't ignore that instinct, act on it. Fear is your brain's way of telling you that you are in a dangerous situation.
If you end up being attacked, give up your money without hesitation, but never, under any circumstances, allow any attacker to take you to a second location. The only reason for them to do so is to do something to you that they don't have time to do where they attacked you, and it is rarely good.
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Additionally, a lot of attacks (I'm thinking rape defense, here) come from people the victim knows. You can't attack Uncle Albert just because he's acting weird, you need a good reason.
Can't denotes physical impossibility. I don't think that there is anything physically stopping you from attacking Uncle Albert. I assume that you mean that it would be socially inappropriate to do so. I say, if Uncle Albert is touching your naughty place, then it would be socially appropriate to apply the Monkey Steals Peach to him.
The way I see it, teaching kids self-defense against sexual abuse is simple. Tell them that if someone makes them uncomfortable they should speak up and say so. Tell them if someone touches them in a way that makes them uncomfortable then they should make their discomfort known, order that person to stop, and kick, scream, twist, fight, yell for help, get away if possible, and immediately tell someone else about what happened (though an adult is often ideal, one might not be available). If they're in public, it is important to differentiate this from a simple temper tantrum and begging for help is one way to do so. Making it clear that the attacker isn't a parent can also help (even when the attacker is a parent). Of course, if that doesn't work, then there is no other choice but to escalate to deadly force, which is something that a child is certainly able to do, with the proper tools, but may not have sufficient emotional maturity to handle properly.
The size difference between young children and adults renders non-lethal defense techniques fairly worthless, but their small size combined with their superior reflexes and agility make children ideal knife fighters. Back in my day, carrying a pocket knife to school, where it would be useful both for utility and for defense against sexual assault, was uncommon but didn't raise any eyebrows. Unfortunately, most school systems these days have a zero tolerance policy, forcing one to rely on makeshift weapons such as well-sharpened pencils in case of sexual assault by an adult. The key isn't just to get to safety, but to be willing do whatever is possible to further that goal, including causing grievous injury or death. If you aren't prepared to use deadly force, there is a good chance that you'll freeze up when it becomes necessary. Unfortunately, there is no right age at which to teach this principle to children, and no right way to teach them. If they have the emotional maturity to understand when it is appropriate to use such violence and when it isn't, then they should be taught when it is alright to use it, when they're truly afraid that they'll be badly hurt or killed. But if they don't have that emotional maturity, then teaching them lethal self defense can potentially cause more problems that it protects them from.
The most important thing is that children in that situation should know that it is alright to do whatever it takes to get away from the predatory adult. They shouldn't limit their tactics, they shouldn't be afraid to act out, they shouldn't be afraid to cause injury. In essence, it is the exact opposite if what you teach your children every other day of their lives. And that's the important thing to teach them, that when an adult tries to hurt them, kidnap them, or touch them in a way that makes them uncomfortable, then they are no longer bound by the rules. If that happens, all the rules go out the window and they can do anything, without any sort of limitation, to get to safety.
Also, I'd recommend against teaching "stranger danger" because that's just stupid; it gives kids a false impression of an international organization of trenchcoat-wearing cartoon villains that is out to hurt them. The vast majority of child abuse is performed by friends, acquaintances, or relatives, as you say. More important is to teach situational awareness and differentiating between a dangerous situation and a safe one. It is also important because in a public attack, abduction, or just plain being lost in the mall (which happens with sufficient regularity that there are protocols for it), they may have no one to turn to for help but strangers. It's important that they learn to communicate with strangers safely, without putting themselves at risk, and to say no to those things that would put them at risk.
QUOTE (Critias @ Feb 7 2009, 01:35 PM)
If I had a magic spear, I'd use my stabbidy-stabbidy powers for good.
If I had a magic spear, I'd ride on horseback with it, charging at some heavily-armored evil giants. And then, I'd stand on the horses ack while it is going full speed, like the horse is a surf board. And when I get close enough I'd leap from the horse at the giant and drive the spearhead between the plates of his armor while hanging on tightly so I don't fall to my death.
Of course, the giant was a windmill and it took around five hours for someone to spot me hanging there and for the fire department to get me down. So you might not want to try that.