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ChuckRozool
OK...
So what would Chuck Norris' stats look like if he were a PC in Shadowrun?

As far as skills i think he would have intimidation and roundhouse kick of like infinity. and that would pretty much be it for skills. Well that and maybe athletics to use instead of dodge, and that would probably be at like infinity as well.

ok, i'll stop now and get back to work. please forget you even saw this thread...

---end of line---
Edward
I’m farley shore that chuck Norris has negotiation(showbiz), etiquette(showbiz) and acting(combat) as his primary skills. The way his characters come off has mor to do with the fact that the last one is about 3(7) and the writers take this into consideration.

Edward
DigitalSoul
I'll will then direct your attention to this little slice of silliness then:

http://forums.dumpshock.com/index.php?showtopic=11761
Frackula
Chuck Norris
Race: Chuck Norris
B 10
A 10
R 10
S 10
C 10
I 10
L 10
W 10
E 6.0
Qualities:
Bulletproof (Chuck Norris is impervious to bullets)
Bladeproof (Chuck Norris' body hair is ten times stronger than spider silk and fifty times stickier)
Immortal (Chuck Norris cannot die)
Walker, Texas Ranger (-6 dice modifier for actions opposing Chuck Norris)

Skills:
Melee Combat: Roundhouse Kick 20
Intimidation: 20
Horseback Riding: 20

Contacts:
Vin Diesel 6/6
George Zimmer 6/6
God 10/10

Quotes:
"I have a sweet tooth. FOR BLOOD!"
"I AM CHUCK NORRIS!"
"Fichetti Pain Inducer? I AM A PAIN INDUCER!!"
Sharaloth
The normal Chuck Norris has stats like this:
Body: 4
Quickness: 4
Strength: 4
Charisma: 3
Intelligence: 3
Willpower: 3
Essence: 6
Magic: 0
Reaction: 3

Skills: Athletics: 3
Unarmed Combat: 5 (he's an actual martial artist, IIRC)
Etiquette: 3
Quite possibly one or more gun skills at 3

The acting stuff is all knowledge skills, and he gets his agent to do his negotiations for him.

The mythical Chuck Norris is an Ultimate NPC, and therefore does not get stats, he can just do whatever he wants, except, it appears, beat Bruce Lee.
Grinder
There is no such thing like a "normal" Chuck Norris. Never. That's impossible.

biggrin.gif
TheBovrilMonkey
I'd add 'Beard Growth: 10' to the list of skills, along with the power of 'Beard Control'.
Chuck's beard grows at a tremendous rate, but since nothing can cut it, he controls the length by sheer force of will. And occasionally roundhouse kicking himself in the face.
Liper
Don't forget background skills in producing B-quality movies
Texas shoot locations
And where to locate poor script writers.

Also didn't he study many martial arts?

Also he'd have a good amount of contacts and have the special attribute Fame and Ocult following.
Foreigner
Liper:

According to The Internet Movie Database, Chuck Norris has a 10th-degree black belt in Tang Soo Do, an 8th-degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do, and an 8th-degree black belt in Brazilian Jiu-jitsu.

Also, he has founded two schools of his own martial arts: American Tang Soo Do and Chun Kuk Do ("The Universal Way").

Chun Kuk Do incorporates elements from many different fighting arts; among them are Jeet Kun Do, Aikido, Hapkido, Jiu-jitsu, Judo, boxing, and Western wrestling.

Tang Soo Do is a Korean martial art based upon the ancient Korean art of Soo Bahk Do (60%), combined with elements of Northern China Kung Fu (30%), and Southern China Kung Fu (10%). There are also elements of Karate somewhere in the mix (even though the above total is already 100%).

If the site I was just browsing is any indication, the martial art of Soo Bahk Do has been around for over 1000 years (that's based upon the current RL timeline--in SR terms, the art has been around for over 1100 years, first appearing around 950 A.D.).



--Foreigner
Wounded Ronin
QUOTE (Sharaloth)
The normal Chuck Norris has stats like this:
Body: 4
Quickness: 4
Strength: 4
Charisma: 3
Intelligence: 3
Willpower: 3
Essence: 6
Magic: 0
Reaction: 3

Skills: Athletics: 3
Unarmed Combat: 5 (he's an actual martial artist, IIRC)
Etiquette: 3
Quite possibly one or more gun skills at 3

The acting stuff is all knowledge skills, and he gets his agent to do his negotiations for him.

The mythical Chuck Norris is an Ultimate NPC, and therefore does not get stats, he can just do whatever he wants, except, it appears, beat Bruce Lee.

Actually, I'd give Chuck a skill of 6 or 7, not 5. I think that he was a competitive champion back in the 70s, so his skill would be higher than "professional" and would have to be at least "expert".

I'd also raise his Charisma to 6. If he wasn't really charismatic, none of us would be making these jokes now.
Sharaloth
I thought we made the jokes precisely BECAUSE he wasn't very charismatic.
Glyph
He may have been slightly wooden as an actor, but he was a celebrity, and also ran his own karate school. So I would say a Charisma in the 4-6 range wouldn't be unreasonable. As far as other stats go, he was a world champion, not merely tough. So I would give him physical stats in the 5-7 range and a skill of 9 or so. Currently, for the retired Chuck, I would still give him physical stats of 5 (he keeps in shape) and an unarmed skill of 6. Becoming world-class anything takes incredible drive, so I would give him a Willpower of 6. He is a business owner, has shown an ability to market himself, and was known as being a crafty fighter, so I would give him a pretty decent Intelligence, too, at least 4 or 5 (although his acting skill would be lower - maybe acting: 3 with a specialization in physical acting (martial arts, etc.) of 6.


As far as his movie roles, I wouldn't make his stats that much higher than his actual ones during his prime. His characters were tough, but hardly invincible no-selling machines. I would give him a variation on the whirling maneuver entitled "opponents must attack one at a time, even if they outnumber him 20 to 1." But all movie martial artists seem to have this maneuver.
hyzmarca
Chuck is charismatic but that isn't why we make jokes about him. We make jokes about him because he has become sort of campy. His Walker:Texas Ranger isn't on the same level as Adam West's Batman but Walker has the same absurd seriousness that made Batman so distinct. It takes some level of talent to pull off such cliche silliness with a straight face.

As for his unarmed skill, I'd say we'd have to impliment some skill degredation rules for him. If you compare his more recent work to his classic work you can see a big difference. He suffers from horrific telegraphing on Walker. Part of this could be attributed to the style of choreography and the limited abilities of the stuntmen he roundhouses. Walker has a western brawling style while his 80's offerings are more eastern martial arts oriented. Brawling choreography traditionally uses horrificly obvious telegraphing for dramatic effect. Likewise, his stuntmen aren't exactly Bruce Lee. In a stagefight, the giver is limited by the abilities of the reciever. Still, the difference is so dramatic that untill I see he in a real fight I would have to assume that some of his active Unarmed skill has degraded into complementry knowledge skills.
nt326
QUOTE (Foreigner)


Also, he has founded two schools of his own martial arts: American Tang Soo Do and Chun Kuk Do ("The Universal Way").


And here i was, thinking that Chun kuk do, was just a creative way of taking chuck norris and turning it into a name for martial arts... i just kinda looks like chuck to me...

Oracle
I bet the salary of a month that Chun Kuk Do has a lot of roundhouse kicks. wink.gif
Liper
it's easy to deliever those lines with a straight face if you helped write them and you think it's good stuff.
SL James
QUOTE (Liper)
And where to locate poor script writers.
Grinder
QUOTE (Liper @ Feb 20 2006, 08:52 PM)
And where to locate poor script writers.

Chuck Norris writes all scripts himself.

biggrin.gif
Oracle
That's poor. And explains a lot.
Wounded Ronin
I think Chuck Norris has a lot of potential as a NPC. Perhaps if the players keep screwing up their missions because they're not being tactical enough, but you're playing a "nice" game where you want the party to mostly survive and you're not letting the dice fall where they may, you could have Chuck Norris rescue them each and every time. You could keep a tape recorder at the table with the Walker: Texas Ranger theme and play it whenever he's saving them.

It would be less demeaning than being like Bugs Bunny and getting saved by Humphrey Bogart from time to time.

Hell, Chuck Norris could even be like a niggling tutorial. If the PCs tactically screwed up a situation, Chuck Norris could spawn in the room and then kill al the bad guys by himself in the "correct" way. Ho ho ho, Norr0w3d! rotfl.gif
Tanka
...

No, just... No.

fad.overkill++;
Wounded Ronin
QUOTE (tanka)
...

No, just... No.

fad.overkill++;

Well, I suppose it *could* be kind of difficult to justify Walker saving a bunch of Shadowrunners time and time again. Perhaps, to maintain suspension of disbelief, Walker should only be used to save the party if the GM is running a Lone Star campaign.

So, you know, you've got your corp-issued Ruger Thunderbolts and armor jackets, but you screwed up somehow and now you're the hapless cops being cruelly tortured by the e-ville Columbian shadowrunners. In fact, they're using that other thread to drag you behind a pickup truck over rocky terrain! But just as you're sweating profusely, trying to not get that 6th box of physical damage, the GM pulls the tape recorder on the table and begins playing the Walker: Texas Ranger theme.

Chuck Norris swings out of a tree and knocks the driver away from the wheel with a double footed kick. He grabs the wheel and steadies the vehicle, and bring it to a screeching halt, fishtailing it around (and giving you another L wound) to put the truck between you and the bad guys. As the bad guys open fire, rounds ping off the aluminum chassis around him because of their penalties to hit a moving target.

Chuck Norris shoulder rolls out of the cab of the truck, takes cover behind his tree, and uses 2 submachineguns loaded with EX-EX ammo to spray out 20 rounds per complex action and take advantage of the suppressive fire rules to hit *all* the bad guys at once while reserving his own combat pool for defense and forcing the enemies to waste their combat pool on dodge attempts. At the end of the combat turn, when all the bad guys have hopelessly squandered their combat pool and cannot dodge, Chuck Norris pulls out two Deputies loaded with flechette ammunition and headshots everyone, making them die.

Thus making him save the party again.
Frackula
QUOTE (Grinder)
QUOTE (Liper @ Feb 20 2006, 08:52 PM)
And where to locate poor script writers.

Chuck Norris writes all scripts himself.

biggrin.gif

Chuck Norris doesn't write scripts. He stares them down and they absorb the information through osmosis.
Churl Beck
At my last game session, one of the players was making an unarmed attack against an NPC and announced "I'm going to Chuck Norris kick this guy." Since he had invoked the name of Chuck Norris, I gave him 6 extra dice to roll. Needless to say, the NPC was obliterated. Fortunately, such feats only work when the players least expect it.
Kyuhan
QUOTE (Churl Beck)
At my last game session, one of the players was making an unarmed attack against an NPC and announced "I'm going to Chuck Norris kick this guy." Since he had invoked the name of Chuck Norris, I gave him 6 extra dice to roll. Needless to say, the NPC was obliterated. Fortunately, such feats only work when the players least expect it.

I love it.
Grinder
Yeah, it's a great idea! biggrin.gif
hyzmarca
Colonel Charles "Lone Wolf" Braddock was raised by his wise Naitive American grandfather after both of his parents were killed in an accident. As an impetuous youth who wanted to see the world and kick ass he left his grandfather and the NAN to join Ares' military forces.

In the military, his adept potential and his natural talent for killing things while saying pithy one-liners were both recognized thus he was fast-tracked into a special forces ninja adept training program. It was here, during his super ninja training, that he met his two best friends and the love his his life. Charles, Leo Porter (Louis Gossett Jr), and the enigmatic Seikura (Tadashi Yamashita) were know as the "three musketeers" because of their close friendship on and off the battlefield. That is, untill a woman won the heart of Charles and forever drove a wedge between the three of them.

Alas, the whirlwind romance was short lived. Charles Braddock watched his pregnant wife die in a fiery explosion and entered into a suicidal depression. Along with his two close firends and special forces ninja teammates, he volunteered for three tours of duty in Desert Wars.

On their third tour, Braddock's team was captured by Mitsuhama forces and taken to a POW camp on a tropical island. After being tortured for months and refusing to brak, Braddock was sent home along with several other POWs in a standard prisioner exchange. He was told that his best friends were killed trying to escape.

Fed up with it all, Braddock attempted to drown himself in BTLs and prostitutes at a sleezy joint called the House of 7 Joys before getting his act togather and returning to his Native American roots.

Now, twelve years later, Braddock has learned that his teammates are still alive on that island along with hundreds of other POWs that Mitsuhama has been holding in violation of treaty.

With nothing left but his honor and the creed of "leave no one behind" Braddock takes it upon himself to singlehandedly storm the island fortress and rescue his teammates. This is where he runs into the PCs who were also hired to storm the island fortress. They, however, were tasked to survail a ninja training camp. They are only supposed to take pictures.

Now, it turns out that this ninja training camp is run by Seikura, who betrayed his friends because he felt slighted by Braddock. Braddock always came in first at everything. He was the Master's chosen ninja successor, he was leader of the team, he married the woman who Seikura loved. But Seikura had the last laugh. Braddock's wife is alive and he has been raising Braddock's troll son to be his own superninja enforcer.
SL James
If there is a God, he will strike you dead just for writing that.
Grinder
Why? God must be a fan of Chuck Norris wink.gif
Wounded Ronin
Heh, I'm in the middle of writing an introductary campaign for SR3 where the PCs are all CAS Rangers and Walker is there to save them should they screw up.
Kagetenshi
QUOTE (Foreigner)
Chun Kuk Do incorporates elements from many different fighting arts; among them are Jeet Kun Do

Wonderful—a martial art that incorporates elements from many different fighting arts, including one that incorporates elements from many different fighting arts.

A few more layers and the recursion will be effectively infinite.

~J
Tanka
QUOTE (Kagetenshi)
QUOTE (Foreigner @ Feb 20 2006, 03:43 PM)
Chun Kuk Do incorporates elements from many different fighting arts; among them are Jeet Kun Do

Wonderful—a martial art that incorporates elements from many different fighting arts, including one that incorporates elements from many different fighting arts.

A few more layers and the recursion will be effectively infinite.

~J

Silence! Speak not of your logic here!
Frackula
I have changed my mind.

This is how you do Chuck Norris:

http://www.youtube.com/watch.php?v=py5VWZd...=Chuck%20Norris

He has a team!
nezumi
QUOTE (Kagetenshi)
QUOTE (Foreigner @ Feb 20 2006, 03:43 PM)
Chun Kuk Do incorporates elements from many different fighting arts; among them are Jeet Kun Do

Wonderful—a martial art that incorporates elements from many different fighting arts, including one that incorporates elements from many different fighting arts.

A few more layers and the recursion will be effectively infinite.

~J

Only if Jeet Kun Do incorporates elements from Chun Kuk Do. Then I'd laugh.
Foreigner
QUOTE (Kagetenshi)
QUOTE (Foreigner @ Feb 20 2006, 03:43 PM)
Chun Kuk Do incorporates elements from many different fighting arts; among them are Jeet Kun Do

Wonderful—a martial art that incorporates elements from many different fighting arts, including one that incorporates elements from many different fighting arts.

A few more layers and the recursion will be effectively infinite.

~J

Kagetenshi:

Don't blame me. I'm just the messenger. wink.gif

Or are you the sort that kills the bearer of bad news? nyahnyah.gif

I hope not.

--Foreigner
Kagetenshi
*Leans on an axe while Foreigner is tied down with his head on a large wooden block*

Me? Never.

~J
Foreigner
Kagetenshi:

Please don't do that.

I've become rather, um, ATTACHED to my head over the last forty-odd years.

--Foreigner
Tanka
You could always get a new one. I hear Morte has been looking for a body for quite some time.

C'mon, infinite knowledge, being stuck on the lower planes of hell... It'll be fun!

Oops, sorry. PS:T crossover moment. How silly of me.
stevebugge
QUOTE (nezumi)
QUOTE (Kagetenshi @ Feb 22 2006, 07:46 PM)
QUOTE (Foreigner @ Feb 20 2006, 03:43 PM)
Chun Kuk Do incorporates elements from many different fighting arts; among them are Jeet Kun Do

Wonderful—a martial art that incorporates elements from many different fighting arts, including one that incorporates elements from many different fighting arts.

A few more layers and the recursion will be effectively infinite.

~J

Only if Jeet Kun Do incorporates elements from Chun Kuk Do. Then I'd laugh.

Then you would have special techniques, mostly involving feedback loops silly.gif
Kagetenshi
"This technique comes from Chun Kuk Do, which borrowed it from Jeet Kun Do, which derived the technique from a Chun Kuk Do technique derived from a Jeet Kun Do…"

I kick you in the head with the leg I am not kicking you with.

~J
Tanka
Shazam!
Platinum
QUOTE (Kagetenshi)
"This technique comes from Chun Kuk Do, which borrowed it from Jeet Kun Do, which derived the technique from a Chun Kuk Do technique derived from a Jeet Kun Do…"

I kick you in the head with the leg I am not kicking you with.

~J

This is why I miss the simplicity of just unarmed combat skill in SR2. I never allowed concentrations or specializations in UA combat because it was free dice, and too hard to govern which styles excelled when compared to others.
Frackula
So how would I do stats for Penny, Tubby, Too Much, and the rest?
Wounded Ronin
QUOTE (tanka)
You could always get a new one. I hear Morte has been looking for a body for quite some time.

C'mon, infinite knowledge, being stuck on the lower planes of hell... It'll be fun!

Oops, sorry. PS:T crossover moment. How silly of me.

You get +1 karma for making a Planescape: Torment reference. Who would have thought that the Irish actually are Tieflings?


Frakula: looks like it's time to track down that show and watch ALL the episodes!
Frackula
I'm still looking for a single episode, let alone all of them. Karate Kommandos might work as a humorous one shot, where the PCs work for "The Claw" and have to take down Chuck Norris so the generic world domination scheme can succeed.
ChuckRozool
Finally dead this thread is...

Now a Jedi you must make.

Post stats you must...

may the force be with you
Tanka
QUOTE (Wounded Ronin)
QUOTE (tanka @ Feb 23 2006, 11:37 AM)
You could always get a new one.  I hear Morte has been looking for a body for quite some time.

C'mon, infinite knowledge, being stuck on the lower planes of hell...  It'll be fun!

Oops, sorry.  PS:T crossover moment.  How silly of me.

You get +1 karma for making a Planescape: Torment reference. Who would have thought that the Irish actually are Tieflings?

Morte: So, where did you get that accent?
Annah: Accent? Wot you on about?
Morte: Fiendling, if that accent was any thicker, you wouldn't be able to breathe.

The Irish aren't Tieflings, the Tieflings are just drowning in their own speech.

(Though, to be fair, I've known some pretty 'demonic' Irishmen. Well, actually, mostly Irishwomen. Yeesh.)
hyzmarca
QUOTE (ChuckRozool @ Feb 24 2006, 02:26 AM)
Finally dead this thread is...

Now a Jedi you must make.

Post stats you must...

may the force be with you

Anakin Skywalker

STR 1
QUI 1
BOD 1

WIL 0
INT 0
CHA 0


Active Skills
Lightsabers 1
Killing Babies 5
Getting chopped in Half 15
Ettiquite/Jedi 0/2
Angstiness 22
Getting ass kicked by Chuck Noris 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

Knowledge skills
Angst 22
Sutpidity 40
SL James
QUOTE (tanka)
Shazam!

Don't forget to clean up your mess. You don't want streaks on the glass, you know.
Vaevictis
QUOTE (Edward)
I’m farley shore that chuck Norris has negotiation(showbiz), etiquette(showbiz) and acting(combat) as his primary skills. The way his characters come off has mor to do with the fact that the last one is about 3(7) and the writers take this into consideration.

Edward

excuse me sir, but with respect to the whole acting skill... have you ever actually SEEN Chuck Norris try to act? I think "incompetence (acting)" would be far more appropriate.

I mean, I like the guy, he's fun to watch, but holy crap, he just straight can't act. He has many talents. He can kick the crap out of just about anyone. His tears cure cancer (too bad he's never cried). But acting is not one of them.
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