"Our cars are so tough that they had to resort to some freaky mage-nuke to take one out."

"If you're not a great dragon, I'm sure you'll be fine"

What, you haven't seen the car ad where the guy wearing the suicide vest accidentally detonates himself inside of it, and the car just fills with smoke?

That wasn't a commercial it was an Al-Qaeda training video entitled "Can you tell what mistake Timmy made today?" The CIA found a copy and started circulating it under the new title "So you want to be a terrorist? Here's how."

If you're not joking, for the love of God give a link.

*REZ BUMP*

*slaps hand AGAIN for thread bumping without at least adding something*

Mr. Johnson: "Sir, would you be prepared to work for a dragon?"
Runner: *sigh* "If it Hestaby..."

An observation along these lines came up on RPG net several months ago.

Permissive evidence for widespread mental deficency amongst shadowrunners

A group of shadowrunners always has a plan A and a plan B for every job.

Plan A is fantastically complex and involves research, stealth, specialized equipment and cracker-jack timing.

Plan B is simple and involves lots of very large explosions

Plan A never works.

Plan B always works.

The weird thing is that no one ever tries plan B without first failing plan A.

Ironically, the team I was running games for had this happen. Their motto "Plan B stands for 'Plan Boom", and eventually named their team Plan B. They were only called first where high collateral was required. Other than that, they were the team called in when another team failed and success was needed at any cost

Plan B:When you care enough to send the second best.

What was the makeup of the team, mostly sams/mercs/gunbunnies?

One Human street sam, heavy on the cyber - Kempai
One Elf mage/face/part time decker - decent at a lot of things -Gemini
One human magician's way adept that fancied himself a ninja - Stealthy adept w/ lots of combat back up and some magical ability - Lo Wang
One human long arms specialist - McBane (honestly, he liked the Simpsons)
One human hermetic - prefered fire based magic - Fizban, nuff said
One human Weapons specialist - Hood
One Elven Gunslinger adpet using auto pistols - Hobbs

Is it any wonder? They had the skills and the brains to do it other ways. It was mostly that they had little problem with things devolving into a gun battle. They'd usually make it to the end of the run with most of the team is serious damage levels, average of two men down or about to be, and one buidling in bad condition. Luckily they moved around a lot.

Needless to say they effectively retired and split up after the law started coming down on them hard. They had to deal with STAR SWAT raiding safe houses and bounties after a while.

They were based in Seattle orignially. One moved to the Tir, two moved to the UK, one to Japan, one retired as a fixer in Seattle, you get the idea. But they had a hell of a rep (and some serious notoriety).

He apparently didn't know what it meant at first. We later bought him a flask with it engraved on it for his birthday.

I don't know what it means, either.

Either "extreme fatigue" or "offering a drink", roughly.

~J

He was a heavy drinker. As we understood it at the time, it was "drink up" or something to that effect.

Very similar in pronounciation to the chinese toast of Gumbai(?) which roughly means empty cup, basically bottoms up or "over your head or bust your gut" (a chant from college days )

Gan bei. Literally translates to "dry [a/the/one's] cup"; means to empty one's glass, "bottoms up", etc. Kanpai is the Japanese equivalent. It is often misspelled as Kampai.

It's not really "misspelled"—the pronunciation of that character varies between an n-sound and an m-sound based on where it is in a word and what the speaker's accent is like. It's not uncommon for it to have an m-sound when preceding a p-sound.

~J

Also, "Gum Bai" is how the Koreans I worked with say it, so that may be it too.

[/derail]

Troll walks into a drumkit... badum tish.

Whats got 2 legs, fur and bleeds - half a hellhound.

...troll walks into a bar

...bartender says "hey who's gonna pay for that hole in the wall?"

[original written under duress of NCAA tournament]

oooh bad one eh?

speaking of which, what are the rules for basketball and such in 2070? The no giant/troll/minotaur league? The no cyber/bio/magic league. The surged league. Wheeee

...I could see the Big Ten recruiting Trolls. Just fits with the conference's "smash-mouth" style of play.

Meh. Trolls are tall, but they're also slow—Elves get some additional hight, but also a sizable Quickness boost, so they'd probably be more popular as recruits.

~J

...remember I said in the Big Ten. Ever watch a Big Ten BB game? Trolls would actually quicken the pace.

Keep in mind in one of the biggest games of the season (#1 Ohio State vs. #2 Wisconsin) neither team broke 50 points & the Buckeyes won by only 1.

i can see the trolls as power centers, they're gonna get the rebound, or they're gonna go in and get the ball and dunk. Who can stop them? Another troll or the entire other team. heh.

I should add that ke[nm]pai and ka[nm]pai are different words, though they both have something to do with drinking (the latter is a toast, the former a noun for the act of offering a drink) and they both have an amusing secondary meaning (the latter being "total defeat", the former "extreme fatigue").

So yeah, any way you slice it he made a very amusing choice of names.

~J

I wouldn't call ~44% "extremely low". To get lower than 10% success probability, you need 15 steps with that per-step success percentage.

Also, remember that you can make plans more complex but less failure-prone by branching.

~J

Usually it's more a 40% chance of being shot at, with a 5% chance of facing overwhelming response and another 5% chance of extensive pursuit with a significantly unwanted 2% chance of both.

You Think You're Having A Bad Day...

There's a corp wageslave, all nicely dressed in his Neo-Japanese business suit, just sitting at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour.

After just watching him sit there, standing out like a lump on plate glass, this big trouble-making troll ganger steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down in one shot.

The poor man starts crying. The troll says, "Come on, omae, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand seeing a man crying."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I oversleep, and I'm late to my office. My boss, in an outrage, fires me. When I leave the building to my car, I found out it was stolen. Lone Star says they can do nothing, it's been taken off the grids and the transponders are off-line. I get a cab to return home and when I'm walking up to the door, I realize that I left my commlink in there, with my bank account and everything and the cabbie has already driven away. And when I get inside, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home and come to this bar. And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison ..."

A Troll walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre. The barman gives him one.

Two termite spirits walk into a bar. They look around and ask, "Is the bar tender here?"

Because I dunno if it's been said yet (and this is a loooong thread):

What's black & tan, and looks good on Villiers?

A Doberman.

*groan*
Where's the mage mask when we need it?

Two weevil beetle spirits were summoned by a shaman in the CAS. After he got toasted by an Ares bughunter team, they decided to part ways. One ended up in Los Angeles, where she wreaked a great deal of havoc and became quite famous and eventually ended up in a movie (as the antagonist, but hey...).

The other decided to stay behind in the CAS and lived fairly quietly and never really amounted to much, so she naturally became known as the lesser of two weevils.

...we need a :groan: smiley.

Two upper-middle class ghouls find that they need to go to Hong Kong in person to close a business deal. Shrugging, they pack, making sure to put some of their required diet in each of their suitcases, as they would be far from home and their normal suppliers.

As they go to board the sub-orbital, the flight attendant looks at the two small suitcases that each is carrying on board and says, "I'm sorry, but the company has a strict policy of one carrion per passenger."

You're unstoppable