TOAST!

(with a side of beef)

That would be (chipped beef on) TOAST!

Yeah. Toast.

I tip my cow to you, sir.

Why thank you!

Still not sure they'll be able to steer this thread back in the right direction, though.

Not with cowments like that they won't.

You people have me slapping my calf in udder delight at the sheer beefiness of these puns.

Only cowards quit under threat!

We must cowntinue the bad jokes, it seems. Nobulldy can stop us.

It's been a brisk(et) trade.

Maybe a Bull could stop us from bullshitting . . but i guess we are just too awfull/funny ^^

I'm not sure if even Bull could rope this brahma.

Awful? These puns are the cream of the crop.

Cream of the crap, surely ??

C'mon man, don't be a pig.

People here do like to ham it up.

At this point, trying to get this thread back on track is a moot point. Probably best just to put it out to pasture. We've barely grazed the surface of these stupid puns.

He should feel gilt-y for saying such a thing!

Be a long-pig instead . .

Don't even step into that pigsty of a thought process. Euchh.

Dear god, there's some pure win here.

Note: All are SR3.
From our many-and-varied running teams:

Kronk: <The troll avatar of awesome, after rolling a 32, a 19 and a 22 Perception...with 3 dice> So, what do I see?
The group, apart from the GM: The eyes of Kronk see all!
GM: Yeah, that (Detailed description of scene ensues)

Later..

Sparky: <Elf embodiment of quickness, cybered, skilled and typically wearing his Milspec armour, and rolled crap on his perception> So, Kronk - what's out there, I don't like the look of the scene (Deserted mall)
GM: (OOC) Why, what did your eyes see, lego-lass?
Kronk <Rolling 12, 21, 23>: Uhh...
Group & GM: THE EYES OF KRONK SEE ALL!

"The eyes of Kronk" is now a group theme.

Also
Group: You're SUSTAINING WHAT? (F12 flamethrower)
Mr Wizard (The most heaped-upon player character, ever.): So, I can get paid in drugs, right?
Summoner: (Unholy-Beautiful elven Male Magician to the waiter at our meet, lisping): Do you have any diet water?

GM: Ok, through more luck than judgement, you've managed to hurt, badly, this scary-looking armour-clad assassin-fellow with the damn pizza shovel. What are you going to do now?
Aidly: (Troll mage, heavily armed, bespelled and with an even more heavily-armed gunbunny) "I'hm a gonna whack him again!"
Gm: ...Well, saves ammo.

Sparky: ....so, we're going to need a pully system...? (To get to a ISO shipping container full of Fairlight Excalibers, under another 20 containers. Still on ship.)

After we've managd to persuade a go-gang to attack the convoy containing the shipping crate earlier...in the middle of the day, on a main highway...
GM: Ok, the go-gang's doing their thing you open the truck to find....a wide and varied variety of paracritters, mostly insane from confinement and pissed in general!
Groups discussion: Shit, wrong truck/wait, there's another one here/what's in that one, crap, company's coming/I roll my knowledge paracritters!
Roll: <1, 2, 1>
GM: You think they might be safe?
RaTH: <Skeezy decker from hell, checking out ther other truck> Hey, guys, this one's full of decks! Oh, baby, yeah <Player is now making "Rubbing his netherparts on the deck" motions> I got something to put in you!
Kat: (Troll Mage, didn't hear him properly) Don't you have to plug it in first?
RaTH: ("Wha?"expression) The container?
GM: <Reality slipping.> You know there's armed response on it's way. With a T-Bird?
Group: Yeah/yeah/sure/I find the cage-release and let the caged critters go!
Rest of group & GM: ..............
Sparky: I'm sure that paracritter roadkill will slow them down! <Rolls quickness, gets in car before everyone else, enabling the group to escape cleanly>
GM pauses to work out the carnage while the group laughs at his face.
Sparky: <OOC> So, what was in the cages.
GM: <Reading from a list> Hellhounds, barghasts, (Group nods as they speed away) a Naga (Nods slow...) a unicorn...
Group: WTF?!
GM <Continuing>...~12 Talis cats (Blank looks, no one's heard of them) and a good number of rockworms.
Group: Talis cat?/What's a rockworm?
GM: If you look in the rearview now, you can see the rockworm-riddled overpass start to crumple and fall under its own weight, crushing the 8-lane highway beneath it...
Silence, then:
Sparky: So, we're not being followed now?

Group: Truckramp!
GM: F^&K YOU ALL, THERE'S NO F%^KING TRUCK. (The last time the GM tries to pass along doctored images)

Deep in an underground sewer complex:
McKinnon: Righty, I'm gonna set these things off, you might be wanting out, I've got some exploding to do!
25 kg of C12 later...
GM: The explosion was deafening, the walls quiver and you struggle to stand upright. After a minute or two, those you you with hearing enchancements might make a word or two out...
Sparky: <Perception: 35, 25, 21, 19, 17, 13, 5, 5> I've also got :perceptive: as a trait, what do I hear?
GM: In the far distance, you can hear the sounds of car alarms chiurping in the distance...
Sparky: (OOC, old-man voice, faint) "You kids, git offa ma lawn..!"

Same run, more explosions:
Sparky: (Cupping hand to ear) Ah, The sounds of car alarms in the night...
GM: <Making dog-barking at the car alarm noises>
Group: You kids! Git off ma lawn!"

Red: (Mage, with 8 fire elementals in tow, points at a bug spirit) You lot, hug that thing!

Much later...
Force 12 great-form Fire Elemental (Red again): "Hugsy time!"

Kronk, RaTH & Gromit: "Bug-Be-Gone, F^&K YEAH!"




-Tir

now you're just being pigheaded.

Well this thread has devolved into nothing but punish Spam.

prey that we don't devolve it further . .

It's a pork-barrel project, though the puns are starting to wallow.

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Alright, I draw the line at ASCII memes. OUT WITH YOU!!!!

Maybe people would listen to you more if you were a bit more punny Dr. Rockso, until then they'll just trample right over your objections and you'll keep having a cow.

I butter not, I think this thing has been udderly milked for all it's worth

"I took Cocaine... FROM A COW!!!"

Epic thread is a holy cow.

There you have it folks, fresh from the Cows mouth.

That's disgusting. Cud you rephrase it?

Flowing from the udder like milk?

The bovine beings themselves have spoken.

No, our Bullheaded friend stays noteably absent O.o

He doesn't want to lower himself to our level.

I fought myself, but finally calved into adding my own. Will these puns heifer end?

All my players are power-gamers so the catch-phrase of our games is always:


"Called shot to the head!"

We should be mooving from this thread to better pastures.

The grass is always greener on the other side.

So vie veal go dere and stop dis udder nonsense!

Just lets not all stampede there at once!

The worse thing is, all these puns have ALREADY BEEN USED. It's seriously...<looks around> baaaaaaad.

We're down to chewing our own cud, are we?

I don't even know what that means.

Technically the phrase "chew the cud" means to ponder something over. In the literal sense, cows vomit up previously chewed grass ("cud") in order to chew on it some more.

In the sense I posted it in, I meant it in the more literal sense, as we're reusing old puns.

I knew that, I was just overwhelmed by how long it was going on for.

It would behoove you to not be so surprised by bullheadedness of the dumpshockers.

Indeed. Oink.

We are interrogating a mafia snitch and my TM walks in and just sets a box down in front of him.

Now we can't harm him and he knows it...

Now my TM just looks at him and smiles as innocently as she can."Jhonson called, if you don't talk.. I can use what's in the box."

With that she walks out of the room leaving the box on the table...

He breaks down, knowing her street rep is anything but sane or nice.

Afterwards the new guy asks her what's in the box ..


NG: So what you got in that box?
Face: Son, don't ask questions like that..
TM: nothing, it's empty. Jhonson told me under no circumstances was I to use anything on him in any way shape or form.
Face: wait, what.. you psyched him out with a empty shoe box?
TM: yep, and the absolute truth
NG: damn..