So yeah, either ingame or ooc post your most memorable Shadowrun related quotes and anecdotes!

To start things off:

*While in a car chase*
GM(to player 1): "Wait, you're really going to shoot an HE grenade at the civilian cars? On the highway? In broad daylight?"

*rest of the group berates player 1*

Player 1: "Whoa guys! I never said it was an HE grenade. It's totally a gas grenade!"

Player 2: "Yes you did. And I quote: 'I shoot an HE grenade at the civilian cars following us! Ha ha ha, collateral damage!' And what exactly is a gas grenade going to do to a car anyway?"

Player 1: "...shut up"

Someone said this way back in the day, and we all had a chuckle. Since then it has become a weird joke.

The phrase "I yank my predator" always makes us giggle.

Isn't it "praetor" anyway?

Think he means the Ares Predator heavy pistol as opposed to the Praetor smg.

It was an SR2 game and the group had a street sam that took the 1million at creation and put most of it into a cyber arm with strength. His cyber arm he had like 13 or 14 strength. Anyway, the team was playing bodyguard to some corp lady. The corp lady had no combat experience but as a precaution the team had given her an Ares Predator and shown her how to use it.

Later on the corp lady started getting mouthy with the street sam. (The GM was one of those types, where every person you ever meet had the same personality, arrogant and mouthy.) The street sam wasn't having any of it and called her a few unkind names. So the NPC drew down on him.

Player 1: Go on you stupid slitch. Do it.

GM: She thinks about it and then puts the gun away saying (snidely) "It'd just be a waste of a bullet."

Player 1: Muscles (the street sam) goes over and punches a hole in the brick wall, crumples up some of the debris with his fist and then chews on it. He turns to the corp lady and after he spits out blood, brick and teeth he says "You're god damn right it be a waste of a bullet."

We were all laughing in part because of the description, but also because the GM was fuming. (He took every insult to an NPC personally. Yeah, one of those. )

Kovu Muphsa: "I hope I don't have to take out my own team again." [Usualy after the new guy does somthing that compromises the mission]
Devon: "I like Runners, they won't give me a Swirly."
Scrounger [To a Force-2 City Spirit]: "Now take the hose and gas can and take all of the fule you can and put it in the RV while I am in the Bar."
Scrounger [To a Force-6 Air Spirit]: Take this and give it to that big ork with the Machine Gun [Handing the HE Grenade to the Air Spirit]


On the way to a SR game at a Toys-R-Us: NO WAIT THAT WAS A LOAD BEARING PUPPY [followed by the sound of falling plushies]

Big Tony: (Italian accent) A she has dispointede me, erase her frome my face.
Player 1: Okay ... BANG
Player 2:OOC: OMG you didn't !
Player 3: OOC: Yeah he just did ...
Player 1: OOC: What ?
Player 2: OOC: She was our jonhson so no payment !
All player: Damn !

Professor, to himself: "Damn. I've never died at a job interview before."

Dang, need to start writing 'em down so I can remember them.

A very old list.

Player 1: Here seader-crap scum. Bang (killed him)
Commlink: Beep Beep
Player 1: Yes ?
Lofwyrm : You just killed my dog you short lived !
Player 1: Oh damn !
GM: I told you you had to keep him alive now your character has Enemy, Hunted, Wanted and Bad Rep : You killed a pet from a dragon !

This is one I heard that has stuck with me

Street Sam: I chop off the car door off with my dikote katana
GM: Okay... Why are you doing that?
Street Sam: Well its a bullet proof limo right? It will make a great shield, plus its got a comfy leather interior and if I get hot I can roll the window down.

Dyson: Right, so which gang are we going after? Halloweeners? Hellhounds?

Cheshyr: He says it's the Yakuza.

Dyson: (spit-take)

Cheshyr: ...

Dyson: Hang, on, hang on... "Gomen nasai...uh...ore-wa...shi-ne...ja nai? Ku-da-sai?" Is that right?

Cheshyr: eh, you got most of the major nouns in there.

Patch: Wait, what did he say?

Kresselack: "I'm very sorry. Don't kill me. Please."

. . .

Nicolai: Vhat da hell is dat?

435: You said you wanted him alive.

(Subject is a shattered husk of broken meat crammed into a trash can)

Dyson: *Technically*, alive.

. . .

Rotordrone Blue: //Ammo conservation subroutine activated. I am authorized to accept your surrender now, bleeding human.//

. . .

(Party is ambushing the Yakuza in a bathhouse)

Rotordrone Gold: //Unable to attack target due to targeting protocol 6/G: "Naked Ladies are not to be shot at".//

. . .

(Same raid; underdressed Yakuza girl has spent 3 IPs beating furiously but ineffectively on Rotordrone Gold's Armor)

Rotordrone Gold: //Please stop. Your actions are only embarrassing us both.//

. . .

Fixer: The guard dutifully inspects Austin's lunchbox - a container of plain red bean paste, a thermos, a salt shaker, three packets of ketchup, two packets of mustard, and a sickly looking apple.

Cheshyr: Jesus, how many explosives did he bring?

MCT Guard Drone: //Valued (Employee/Guest) - Based on the contents of your Bento, you are (Single/About to become Single). Would you be interested in the personal profiles of eligible singles employed on this floor?//

In a group I was GMing

Shaman: Ok I take my handgranade and duck tape it to the door.
Face: Wait, what are you doing?
Shaman: Getting us inside.
Face: Uncontrolled explosions make me nervous.

Recently...

Hari: Okay, we don't want too much attention on Joe while he checks the place out.
Joe: It's a room full of geeks. If Sister walks in there in a sailor suit, no one's gonna be looking at me.
Sister: I don't have a sailor outfit...but I've got a spell that can fake one.

(I think my Physical Mask spell now comes with an optional sparkly-lights and silhouettes transformation sequence.)

Earlier, same group...

Hari: I'm taking his pants. Put some lipstick on him, and maybe a little splash of booze.
Sister: Why do the men on this team keep stripping every guy we knock out?

Because all men are secretly gay.

Sometimes, I'm openly joyous.

One time, I was briefly jubilant. I think everyone experiments with optimism once in college, though.

Kovu [Street Name: Leo] is currently traveling with this Albino almost feral elf called Hallow. We used the story “Fresh Meat” as the basis of the team we are currently running though Ghost Cartels.

Leo: “Ok What do you do?”
Elstar [Elf Speed Street Sam]: “Snick”, Oh and I use these {Holding up 2 Colt Man Hunters}
Nan [Troll Shaman]: I cast Spells and Summon Elemental and I can use this. {Pulling out a 16” Knife}
Zero [Orc Hacker]: I am a hacker and I have this. {Up comes the Dalmatian with a Pain Inducer}
Hallow: I’m a Terrorist
Leo: ( to himself: This team is either going to get me killed or rich)

"dont worry,its my explosion" said by the guy wielding explosives in a confined space.

That's from C.L.U.E.

also from my group.

another one.
player:whats his quickness?
gm: ......Atlantean.
the players had the feeling the gm was randomly changing the npcs stats. the gm in question still hasnt lived it down.

to explain in better detail. a team member was fighting a group of guys that effectively kept changing equipment and stats.

Here is one from our last game

{Hollow enters and puts a crate with UCAS markings on in the the bed of Leo's truck

Leo: "Whats that?"
Hollow: "Its an enginier's demo kit."
Leo: "Why?"
Hollow: "Just in case."
Leo: : "In case?"
Hollow: " "
Leo to Zero: "She is starting to scare me."

BTW: "She is starting to scare me." is starting to come up at least once a session now.

GM to lone street sami on his feet: "You got two trolls on you."
Player: "Wrong, I don't have two trolls on me, they have me on them!"

In Soviet Russia, Street sam Sams you!

In Soviet Russia, Soviet Russia in you!

In Soviet Russia, the shadows run you.

And I must add, it's quite exhausting.

Something that came up in a game I was in:

Mono (Shaman): "Woo! I took out a doc wagon chopper!"
Davion (T.M.): "Well drek. That's going to suck later."
Mono: "But it was awesome!"

Sounds like a fun group. Unfortunately quotes are hard to garner in PbP games, and most of my face to face gaming has been with the Other Game.

After a negotiation the Face explains to the Sams why he doesn't let them talk, and this is the Sams responses:

Sam1: Wolf knows he is not there to think or deal
Sam2 (with a Barret): As does Rook, actually. Rook's just a gun that drags this Ork dude around behind it all day

It is scary when your guns Pilot rating is higher than your Logic and Intuition combined and it gets more dice to hit pulling its own trigger then you do
I Love Arrsenal

"I'm not THAT drunk" Catchphrase of one an ork heavy from my one group
"Do you need anything else or can I go get a drink" Same ork after takeing down three loanstar cars, and a helicopter with a Barret model 121"
"I love the fact that humanity is at the point of evolution where we consider a troll with a sledgehammer a more subtle option" Lok1 (my character, not my account)
Son of Sauron cell leader ranting about attacking their target ahead of time to his lacky:
"NO! WE WILL NOT WAIT, I WILL KILL TODAY, I WILL DIE TODAY!"
Rigger in the van accross the street: "Ok, if thats what he wants."
*Sound of automatic gunfire at close range*

Perfect I have a few from last nights game I Gmed lol.

"Ahh guys I think I screwed up" The groups mage making a call to the rest of the group after he gleeked two call girls and a maid after finding out that one of the call girls was a tranny.

"What the hell is your damage? What did your mom burn you with cigarettes when you were a kid" A angry Mr Johnson calling the mage after he found out about the ruckus in the upscale seattle hotel almost costing the group the job.

I HATE those GMs!!! *shakes fist*


- J.

Old Cyberpunk 2020 game. Team of Broken Arrow (me: archer, techie, professional distraction), Roadkill (sammie, never met a car he couldn't crash), and Angel (gun bunny, former Spetsnaz, loves her toys).

While bodyguarding a rocker on the Night City leg of his world tour, Angel had recently acquired the weapon of her dreams, and LATGM (light anti-tank guided missle). It arrived a few hours before the rocker was to perform at a closed door 'high rollers' party for folks like the mayor, several major corporate types, syndicate bosses, etc. So we get our stuff together and are heading out the door when we notice that Angel has a large art tube hanging from a strap at her shoulder.

Broken Arrow: Is that... You need to leave that here!
Angel *looking all sad and puppy confused*: But... we know the assassin will be there, and my little infants did nothing to slow him down last time.
**her little infants were Malorian Arms custom heavy pistols... basically Blackhawks with roid rage**
Roadkill: Angel, it's a tiny club. We'll be surrounded by civilians.
Angel: But... I'm not going to aim it at the civilians.

I have a few I could share:

Hapless PC infiltrates Yakuza brothel before realising he has no idea where the target computers are. PC to escort girl: ""It would be a real turn on for me if we could do it in the Accountancy office. Do you know where that is?""

At the end of a jaw-droppingly successful run: "Hey - you realise we only killed one person, and that was the person we were supposed to kill?"

Out of character: "Whatever you set your commlink ringtone to, the GM has to sing!" Much was the player's dismay when I really did know the words to Aqua's "Barbie Girl" prompting (in-character) cries of "Answer that thing!" from team mates.

On the team's existing face meeting a new player's character, a junkie coyote shaman who makes a living doing magic tricks in bars...
Coyote shaman: Do you want to see a magic trick?
Face: Okay.
Coyote shaman: Give me your commlink.
Face: (thinks)... No.

The shaman also does the cigarette in the ear out the nose trick, only with credsticks. The fun part is that they go in with money on and come out empty.

The same face later on, taking out a coast guard by slapping an entire roll of tranq. patches to the point of fatal overdose: "I can kill people with stickers!"

The same shaman casting his first ever spell of the game critically glitches the drain roll taking 5P damage! Quote as blood trickles from ears, eyes and nose: "You know, that's supposed to happen."

A moment of profound insight from one PC: "I've just realised that all the people we each hate the most, are our team mates."

Our face: "The problem with APDS rounds, is that they don't make as much mess when you shoot someone in the head.
GM: "Ahhh, what you want, are Ex-Ex"

The drug abusing coyote shaman eyeing the face's extensive medkit: "Can I have some stim patches, please?"

The face, having slaughtered four sailors decides to leave one sp;e South American crew member alive because: "Mexicans are funny"

The face, confronted with a ganger: "What's he using?"
Me: "Looks like a sock with bits of brick in it."

Giggles, the psychotic troll leader of the Scatterbrains tells the PCs a joke and immediately catapults himself to the top of their "do not mess with" list:
"Q. What's harder than nailing a dead baby to a wall? A. My dick while I'm doing it."

On traipsing on foot through Snohomish after a run that nearly killed them all, implicated a contact in a multiple homicide, lost them valuable armour and weaponry and made them enemies of the Triads, the UCAS coast guard, the Ancients and the Cutters and hunted by free water spirits and left one of them unconscious except for occasional bouts of enforced wakefulness by the use of excessive use of stim patches (yes, this is all still the same run), the adept who has Enhanced Senses (Smell) picks up the scent of dogs and sulpher on the wind. Ignoring the Do Not Trespass signs around the area, they carry on with the adept remarking - "it's a Hell Hound. I'd like a Hell Hound." Followed not long after by "Oh, it's lots of Hell Hounds. I suppose we should have thought of that. Shall we run?"

And we'll close with my comment to my players after a session where they got attacked by all sorts of people they didn't know who they were for reasons that weren't aware of because of a mission they didn't understand: "You know that expression that what you don't know can't hurt you? Turns out that's complete bullshit."

Great quotes guys, anybody got anymore?

Next session everybody's going to die. There'll probably be a few to share. Game's next weekend.

K.

"I see dead people." About the opposition before combat.
"These mooks should be honored that I'm taking time out of my busy schedule to slaughter them."

This one happened last night, with me GMing:

Player (While being questioned at a checkpoint, hauling 6 stolen cars in a Mack Truck): "I hand him the papers."

Me: "What papers?"

Player: "Uh, any papers I can find in the truck."

Me: "Ok, you find... a candy wrapper."

Player: "I give that to him, and then while he's distracted I blow through the gate."

This is so........ Wrong, on so many levels...
Good Joke by the way...

Keep thje Faith

While recovering from the beating he took during the last run, the already wired to the gills Street Sam decides to get a few additions/upgrades to his cyberware which reduce his Essence to a respectable .06. Upon returning to the teams safehouse...

GM: "You two (indicating Player 1 and Player 2) are sitting around the kitchen when ETC* returns. He seems to have a little extra bounce to his step and an ear to ear grin that can only mean some new ware.

ETC: "I grab a Soda out of the fridge" - At this point the player gets up to get a soda out of the fridge.

Player 1: I lean over and whisper (to Player 2) "He's more machine now than man. Twisted and evil." <grin>

Player 2: <grin>

ETC: "Damnit! Who drank the last soda" This was said ooc, but seemed appropriate so I let it stand ic.

Player 1 & Player 2 both hold up the sodas in their hand and blurt out at the same time "run!"

*ETC was the Street Sams handle and stood for Empty The Clip.



The team has been invited to a private dinner with a new Johnson, but events leading up this meeting have left the team a bit paranoid and on edge...

GM: You are all seated at a long dining table. The table and chairs are all very ornately carved and made from real wood. This entire room as well as the rest of the house, or at least what little you saw on your tour to the dining room, is decorated in expensive art and furnishings. There can be no doubt that this Ms. Johnson is obviously someone of means and money. Your not seated for long before a team of servants begin filing out loaded with plates and platters which quickly covers the large table. Time to eat.

Street Shaman: "I want to shift my perception to Astral and Assense the food."

GM <best irish accent>: "Its magically delicious."

That's awful.

Thanks. The Scatterbrains went down really well with the group. The best bit was where a PC challenged Giggles to a riddle contest but was slightly disconcerted when another Scatterbrain discretely informed him: "whatever you do, don't ask him one he can't guess, It'll make him mad."

Heheh... Awesome...

Keep the Faith

Street Sammie to Ganger 1: <Fast draw pistol> Blink and you die in the dark!
Ganger 2 makes a break for it!
Street Sammie: <Fast draws Second pistol>Keep running and you die tired!
Infiltrator comes out of hiding: Man that is so not fair! You always get good line opportunities! All I got is a Stinkin' sword.
Infiltrator walks off pouting and mumbling ...Stupid action trid wannabe

"Frag me blind, there's at least three different HTR teams out there. Uh, quick! Turn out the lights. Maybe if we pretend we're not home they'll just go away..."
--Ol' Scratch, a satyr gunbunny who was still shaking off the effects of some narcojet while trying to come up with a plan

"If you're packing enough ammo, it dosen't matter how shitty your aim is."
--Ol' Scratch explaining his personal motto

"If I weren't bleeding all over the floor and you weren't twice my size, I'm pretty fraggin' sure that I'd take offense to them thar words."
--Ol' Scratch, master negotiator

"Load the tree shredder in the back of the van then get into your squirrel costumes. We've got a job to do, dammit."
--Ol' Scratch, putting another cunning plan into action

"You're the one with the safari hat, so you get to be the parazoology expert."
--Ol' Scratch, in over his head in Amazonia

"Why in God's name would I want to go out looking for milk when I got a cow at home? Err, wait, I think I said that wr... ow!.. ow!... OW! God damn!"
--Ol' Scratch trying to convince his main squeeze that he wasn't cheating on her

I've posted this one before, but let's put it somewhere appropriate:

One of our players tends to play impulsive, vindictive characters. One time we had someone captured and were going to interrogate them. The player suggested maybe dousing the NPC's kids in gasoline. His justification:

"Anyone will talk when their kids are covered in gasoline!"

I gotta try that one