Dear AH,

I am an orphaned Shaman from India who was taking in by a world-traveling scientist, his son and their bodyguard. The Quest family has been good to me and I am concerned that Johnny has gone soft over the past few years. When we was 10, he took to the murderous path of revenge after an evil scientist kill his mother. Later the same year, he took down a hive of insect spirits with some ingenuity and a bazooka.

However, now that he is a teenager, he no longer carries around laser weapons or heavy artillery, despite the fact that there are several people who want to kill him. Also, my friendsip with him has been strained as he hangs out with this red-haired girl named Jessie more often than he hangs out with me. She concerns me. The first time we met her, she was the daughter of some guy that was going to be killed by criminals. We saved her father and we never expected to see her again. The next time we met her she claimed to be the daughters of international criminal/superspy Jade and our own bodyguard, Race Bannon. No one remembered our previous meeting with her.
Now, she is no longer Jade's daughter. He mother is some weird archeologist or something that works in Aztlan but everyone still believe that Race is her father. This just isn't right. I can't assense this Jessie's aura and she has been trying to seduce me lately. I don't know what to do. I just want to help the Quests be free of this creature.

- Sim Simed in Salabim

...failing that, have one of your spirits hit her with a Confuse and walk the slitch into an open manhole...

...or if you feel like having some fun, illusion yourself to look like Johnny, and then sleep with her. She'll think he's playing games, you can have fun whenever you feel like it and that should remove the anxiety you feel...

Johnny's pacified because he's getting laid on a regular basis. Cut off his supply of booty and you'll see his hackfactor rise up.

since you're in a trusted position, I hope ye been taking copies of Quest's research materials and been setting up for your eventual leaving of the Quest clan.

They're on borrowed time from what it sounds like and it's best to cut your losses as soon as possible, in fact make sure the next adventure you're not there and prearrange for some equipment 'malfunction' to occur. You'll be free of those softies.

Dear Ancient History,

I've been a runner in Seattle now for about three years, and my success has been pleasant in that time, although something recently is bugging me. I got a call from a Beyond-My-League Johnson about a run that paid probably four times my usual, and despite my common sense saying "No", my need for credits said "Yes."

So now the run is complete...and I had a look at the goods, but I wonder what the hell is so special about this book...so far, Mankind Revealed is the cure for insomnia...not only dryly written and excessively wordy, but like the rest of Ehran the Scribe's work, completely pretentious. Looks harmless to me. Any ideas on who would want it or why?

-Pensive in Puyallup

EDIT* - P.S. To quote an old vid-flick, "I have a bad feeling about this."

I'll field this one..

Pensive -

You already answered your own question. The Johnson can't sleep, and he needs the kind of reading that's as effective as blunt tramau to the head to get him to sleep.

Dear AH,

I keep having a recurring nightmare that the very laws of physics will change, and soon. Also, I keep having a dream that little gnomes will come and cut the VCR out of my head one night. What can I do?

I'll field this one, too.

Nameless -

Your nightmare is very likely prophetic. Pre-empt the gnomes by having your VCR sold and hording the nuyen. You should also horde ammunition, food, and water.

I'd like to add that Gold and Gems have historically alaways been the best way of stashing away funds. they never go out of fashion and will survive any kind of financial systems meltdown. Actually, that should vastly increase their value, as in the turmoil of the impeding crash everyone will seek to convert their soon-to-be-worthless e-cash into something that has actual material presence. Plus, they make great gifts for the wife.

- hermit -

Hermit - be that as it may, remember that when the drek hits the power source, when people learn you have what they want, they're as apt to just try and take it, as opposed to paying you for it.

Try.

The following is based on real events in a game. And, comically, the character can't spell anything with "tian" in it to save their life.

Dear AH,

My group has an unusual problem. About two years back, we were hired by the Mafia to deal with a small group of Yakuza attempting to blackmail them. Specifically, they had compromising pictures of key members of the Mafia. So, we met with the Yakuza and, and negotio... negoshi... negochi... killing them all, we returned to the Mafia and let them know we destroyed the evidence. The Mafia was pleased and we were paid.

Well, as it turns out, we lied to the Mafia, encrypted the pictures, and stored them in the memory implant of the street sam. This turned out to be a bad idea, as about six months ago we were captured by a local vampire and the street sam was forced to agree to be her sex slave in order to save our lives. We figured the photos were simply a cost of living and decided to let them go.

Well, as it turns out, recently the Mafia underwent some changes and the new person in charge of the local group wants the pictures. We were given two weeks to produce them, and this one isn't convinced the pictures were destroyed. So, naturally, we decided to contact the vampire. The vampire won't let the street sam go (apparently, she's pleased with his performance), and she won't let us near him out of fear we will attempt a rescue. To make it worse, she now controls the weapons smuggling for the Barrens and, as such, has all of the local gangs on her side. We are not normally afraid of gangs, but there are simply too many for us to handle. Worse, she has promised to make it very known to the Mafia that she has the pictures and that we sold them to her (which we did not) if the street sam disappears. We suspect the sam told her about the pictures.

So, now, we're in deep drek. We turn up the photos, we get the entire Barrens against us. We don't, the Mafia goes public with a laundry list of our dirty deeds. What do we do?

-Between the Frying Pan and the Fire.

Alright, I've got a question for you AH. And please answer - I'm planning on using this subject for a future story of "The Helios Chronicles."

What canon information exists about Doktor Gansz? He's the nosferatu mentioned in Paranormal Animals of Europe as having had an entire ward of people on life support for him to feed on in Germany.

I'm sitting here laughing my ass off at AH's reply. The person who plays the character is going to be pissed when they get that reply.

AH, you've just made it into my games.

Sweet! Thanks

Alright AH, I got another one for ya.

In an SR history I found online ("It's the End of the World as We Know It, and I Feel Fine" I believe it was titled), there was a reference to a string of vampire-cult killings in New Orleans in 2044, led by some vampire mage named Bartholemew. They sounded very Deacon Frost-ish (one captured member said something like "This is our age, not the age of man.")

So I've really got two questions:

1) What book(s) do these events appear in?

2) What canon information is out there? I was thinking about doing a return of Bartholemew in one story of The Helios Chronicles, since the history said he was never captured. Might make him a recurring villain of sorts (a Sabretooth to Helios's Wolverine, if you will).

I think I know the one you're talking about. Here, right? As far as I am aware, those refer to events that happened in a German SR novel. Neither Bartholomew or the New Orleans Vampires plot makes much, if any, appearence in the English sourcebooks as I recall.

If you need more, try contacting Paolo or Toa.

Alright, I'll talk to them.

But:

1) Are those their full usernames?

2) How often are they typically online?

3) Why are they the best ones to contact about this?

Full usernames are ThatPaolo and Toa. I don't know how often they're online, but you can probably send them an e-mail. I reccomend them because Paolo had a hand writing the page I linked to about it and because Toa is a native to the German Shadowrun boards and so more knowledgeable on the overseas stuff.

well I know Paolo has posted from time to time here and at Bulldrek, so my be is that he reads on occassion, but my bet is not often.

But I know I've had good luck private messaging people here, as most seem to have email notification set up. I knew Lou Prosperi, and a few others replied to me that way.

I am still waiting for them to tell me that I am hired, and can run the Shadowrun world....

Edit

And this is hilarious. Ancient deserves to have these published in TSS or something. At least a poster named after him in one of the books. He rates it.

Which ones? I'm not above admitting I must have missed them.

Isn't there this "Ancient History" channel the Atlantean Foundation owns?

Ancient Wisdom channel. I had small cameos in Shadows of Europe and SOTA:64.

I saw that in SOTA and was greatly amused. Your famous AH.

That explains it. I've only read SOE once now, maybe twice and I need a copy of SOTA64 yet.

Dear AH -

Professional question. I'm a conjurer by trade, a pretty good one, but I've run into a problem. I recently had a free spirit bail me out of a nasty spot involving a shotgun and a jerk who snuck behind me, but he wanted to hide out in my apartment for a while. Now, I figured that was fair enough, but then he brought his "bodyguard", a bear shapeshifter.

The torn up carpets and headaches from crossword questions were bad enough, but it turns out they'd ticked off some hotshot.. And then some punk hit my apartment with a rocket!

What do I do? I thought about banishing the free spirit, but I've never gotten the hang of going astral, and the bear survived getting hit by the rocket and falling 10 stories, so I don't think I've got the firepower to take him out.

-Conjurer in the Coffin Hotel

Dear Coffin-Conjuror,

There are some things on this earth that neither bears nor free spirits want to tangle with. Soak yourself with dragon piss. The smell will kick into the bear's hindbrain as "Bigger. Greener. More teeth." and the spirit should have about the same response on the astral.

-AH

Alternatively, if the thought of being soaked in dragon piss makes you gag, as it rightfully should if you are anything but a watersports fan, simply dissapear.

So what's the problem? I presume the rocket launcher eliminated the apartment. Just tell the freeloaders you have to find a new place to live, and they don't accept pets or haunts.

Edit: You may want to send that message to them via some (sucker) second party.

The problems:
The conjurer is annoyed and broke. She's got around 1k nuyen to her name.
The conjurer is wanted for 3 counts of murder (1 from the first run, 2 being the people who blew up her apartment. She's since burned karma on a non-ordeal initiation to change her astral signature)
The free spirit wants "her soul", as she puts it. Karma farm, initial offer being '10% of everything you achieve'. Negotiated while she was tied to a hospital bed.
There's a second free spirit that has told us "You are all going to visit me on Tuesday at my club.". And we're all afraid of him.. (at least, everyone who knows anything about him -- he DID get a dragon (Great) to deliver the messages)


And all but the last is between PCs.

Dear AH-

I'm a private contractor specializing in the permanent disposal of unwanted assets. Recently my partner of a number of years has been interested in bringing me into his "family business" with an offer I can't refuse. Unfortunately, I fear that his "family" would take exception to working personally with me as I used to belong to a certain "gambling club." While I have managed to erase most of the records of my working with them, I have so far been unable to remove a certain "birthmark" on my back which would prove troublesome if anyone from his "family" were to discover it. To make matters worse, I cannot seem to find anyone who would remove the "birthmark" without informing my old "gambling club," who would certainly track me down to collect my old debts.

Is there any way out of this mess, or should I accept my fate and pay the ferryman?

-Trapped in Syndication

Dear Trapped,

Sometimes, honesty is the best policy. We have all done things we might look on with regret in our later years, and most of us have some physical aspect we wouldn't like to flaunt before all and sundry. SInce you've been partners for several years, I don't doubt you've built up a level of trust and intimacy, especially since your partner wishes to introduce you to their family for the first time!

Find some quiet and secluded spot, like a motel room, and lay it bare for your partner. Have faith that if they're the one for you, they will understand and help you work through your problem!

-AH

P.S. Lie down on the bed and have your partner paint your back with lighter fluid, then set it on fire. Spray the burn with synthskin, that should hold you long enough to get to a shadow clinic. If you plant a body on the scene and torch the room, you might be able to hit two birds with one stone!

Sorry, I'm going out of character on this one..I'm seriously looking for an opinion.

I have been GMing Shadowrun for my group for quite a while and have begun to lose interest. I recently began a serious campaign with my group, and though our playing times are somewhat irregular, they seem to be seriously into it.

Now aside from losing interest in the game as a whole anyways, come January, I will be heading overseas to do the "real thing". Should I try and rush this campaign to completion and hang it up, or hang it up and try and train my replacement GM now?

-Losing Interest in Cali

Dear AH,

First of all, thanks again for the quick answer in my Aztlan book thread. Heres another about some things I read.

The Aztlan book has many mentions about the New Society of Jesus and their covert involvent in the Yuccatan War as well as Aztlan society in general. They come up again in the Yuccatan War section of Year of the Comet. Can I find any more info on these guys? Perhaps something a little more than rumors? Thanks King of Fluff.

They're a Threat (2).

Ah! How pleasant, there already is a topic to ask potentially irrelevant questions to AH.

-ahem-

Dr. History,

Having scoured the internet via google and the like, I have been attempting to find the origins of a mysterious term that has popped up in the past on these forums since I've run across it:

Lucifer Deck

What precisely, other than a novel written by Lisa Smedman in 1997, is a Lucifer Deck? I find it often thrown around random topics in a rather derogatory fashion. I mildly suspect this has something to do with questionable content in SR Novels being back-doored into SR Canon, and the ensuing displeasure of our fine forum members.

Sincerely,

FiveVenoms

Dear A.H.

My group has just gotten back from a tour of Euorpe, mission acomplished. We were hired as some outside talent to penetrate a front op for Cross Applied Tech and, ahem, recover something. We were sent to a fairly remote area, but our pick-up never materialized. With Cross chasing us, I realized we had only one hope, and led my group across terrain I was, at least, marginally familar with.

It was a cold, black winter night, and we were Running near Bastogne. Being somewhat of a history buff and hoping that the terrain had not changed too drastically, I fearlessly (Okay, I was scared so cold that you coulden't tell fear from frostbite,) through the heart of the Ardennes. And straight into Hell.

At first we had no idea what the frag was going on; machine gun fire left and right, sniper fire, we thought we'd stumbled onto a Cross proving grounds or something. Until the tanks started rolling up, and while they were definately Panzers, they weren't exactly the modern sort, if you catch my drift.

At this point, our mage tried to go Astral for a peek, he let out the most damnable scream you've ever heard, and collapsed. What could we do? The punch-boy was lugging the unconcious wizzerd, me and the Sammie were laying down cover fire like it was goin' outta style, and we were trying to get into some cover. Bullets sending' snow flying, explosions everywhere. And they were REAL, too. The sammie got a couple of rounds lodged in his cyberarm; I took 'em to a private ordinance museum owned by a chummer o' mine later and had 'em compared to the real deal from the real deal.


Well, yeah. I guess you get the message, and I don't wanna turn this into a ghost-slash-war story. You had to be there, chummer. And as I know you weren't with us that night, and unless you're pushin' 180, you weren't there the first time. The problem is... Me an' my team have been having nightmares. Desires, urges to go back. Y'know that can only be bad fraggin' news, but what're we gonna do? (FYI, the mage bought it that night. A stick grenade landed beside him in the foxhole we dove into. So we can't ask him what he saw, which I think would have been an important clue.)

What the frag are we gonna do?

- Caught up in something Big.

(Brought to you by Too Much WWII Gaming Productions. )

Dear Caught,

Where can I get that BTL? Sounds like a winner!

You've had a bad trip. It happens. What you need to do is get in touch with current day reality. You need more reality than you can handle. I suggest porn. Porn is great. Porn is always the same era forever. It has continuity. You'll like it.

The alternative to that is kids. Kids will ground you like nothing else. I wouldn't suggest the baby-harness when you go out to bust the MCT Bank or anything - I'm sure you heard about Giovanni and little Issa - but kids are completely where it's at. You might want to go easy on the BTLs, though. Don't want your myelin to vulcanize or anything. Gets your ears dirty.

-AH