That's just wrong.

Now, you'll need a special container to collect the sample. I suggest a box made from the ceramic tiles they put on space shuttles.

Actually here's a question for ya:

I need the most secure bank that a runner can deposit something into. I.E. Where can I put a magical tome so it is in the most secure place possible?

DocMortland: Bury it somewhere with a heavy background count.

LOL That's where the group found it the first time...didn't work so well. Any other ideas?

Mail it. Even with ritual magic and spirits, they'll never find it in the post.

Well, it is his thread, after all.

It's my thread! It merely has his name in the title!

I pwn this shit.

In yer dreams!

Dear AH

Im shopping for a handgun. Im not good with them mind you, I just need something that will scare the ever lovin' dreck out of anyone that I point it at. Now because of my style its usually pointed up a nostrel, and Im yelling rather loud, but I have been finding lately that my Pred. just isnt as scary as it used to be. Any good suggestions / places to talk to a friend of a friend to get one?

Bigger Hammer

Dear AH,

My wife and I are in a disagreement over the best method of disciplining our Scarlet Woman. I believe that long periods of sensory deprevation with brief periods of extreme stimulation is the best method of destroying one's will. My wife, on the other hand, is a traditionalist. She believes in extreme corporal punishement with barbed wire-wrapped sledgehammers and other such things.

I argue that time spent waiting for our relictant slave's shattered bones and torn flesh to heal could be better spent doing other things. She retorts that the time that our pet spends paralyzed ith all five of her senses magically severed could be better spend doing outher things.

We need to settle this once and for all. What is the most time efficient method of turning unwilling slave into an obedient lapdog?


The Frustrated Magi

Dear AH,

I'm a moderately successful businessman, about to get married for the first time. Unfortunately, some of my business associates are very prominent and very powerful people, and are extremely well connected. I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that this means they have a lot of enemies. Do you have any advice for guaranteeing security at this event?

The guest list involves around 250-300 people (still waiting on confirmations). The ceremony will be taking place at at the local Catholic cathedral (and seat of the Archdiocese), so the security will be reasonably tight. I'm most worried about travel to and from the banquet dinner.

Hapless in Hong Kong

P.S. One of my lead associates is a staunch traditionalist, and refuses to use an ASIST interface, so a Matrix-only event is just right out.

Dear AH,

concerning the above question, is advertising of professional bodyguard-services allowed in this thread?

-Protektor

Dear AH,

An OOC question here. I have an itch to play a former Urban Brawler and remember that I saw the rules for Urban Brawl in either Shadowbeat or in one of the adventure modules. Could you tell me where to look for it at? I lost my SR collection in an unfortunate blaze, so I would like to replace the book I need.

Brawler-at-Heart

dear bah

the reference is in shadowbeat. I know this because someone in my latest game is using the same background. Yes even that bit.

Ophis

Also, the rules and a scenario were included in the adventure A Killing Glare

Tisoz, are ye looking for some payback? Make an offer and we'll negotiate. My drop bear commandos are itching for some more practice runs.

You can find the Urban Brawl rules reprinted online here.

Twenty minutes to google T&A? Are you sure you didn't dawdle along the way?

Ugh, I get that it's a reference to ending the sentence with the preposition 'at', but I don't understand exactly what it means. Can someone please explain?

No, I thinking it means "A bath".

Thanks all, especially Fortune, just saved me having to Ebay the book.

No problem.

I'm just surprised that A.H. didn't give you the link.

Dear A.H.

It's been a long fragging time, chummer. The world keeps revolving, and you fell off the 'trix, then that whole Crash 2 thing happened. Is there any chance you're still out there dispensing your unique brand of wisdom?

Anyway, I've got some problems and I think your brand of advice might help. First off, it's been eight years, eight long years, since I been in Seattle. You know how it goes, you lay low, let the landscape change a lot, and come back looking for some kind of hint that it's still the same old 'plex, only those fraggers in city hall have overlaid emerald slabs over everything as part of a vainglorious attempt to try and make the city look better (when they just manage to make it look pathetic), and the landscape's all changed. Hell, I can't even dig up Rico for some good times, is he still around?

So, what does a chummer who's been laying low, managing his finances and doing a lot of nothing do when he feels the need to return to Seattle and get back in the game? I tried retirement, but I just can't hack it. I gotta have something to do, you know? I'm flush enough in the nuyen department to manage, and I kept myself SotA, but it's the city itself I don't recognize - I can't find any familar faces, though I haven't quite looked through my whole rollodex file yet. Can you point me in a good direction to make a new go at it?

When the man and the minotaur meet
Beneath august stars in August heat
Damn'd the SINner so blind
To flashing guns in blood-stained Crete

We're sorry, AH is busy writing the next sourcebook. Did you enjoy our latest presentation on Seattle, Runner Havens? If not, press one for assassination. If you do not want to be assassinated, press two for slow, painful poison. This is a pre-recorded message.

No sir, we don't have to care. We're the phone company. This is a recording.

...We can't do that, we're the U[CA]S Government

Seriously, I'd just turn off the sim module and watch everything fade back to shades of dingy ash covered grey.

ok, there is seems to be a growing population of cuddly but deadly beings on this forum...

oh and btw, would not "recorded" messages be handled by low rating agents in SR?

"this is a agent delivered black hammer" anyone?

Ok, I gotta ask. Are the Elite DropBear Commando pictures located in the Dumpshock forum, or did you upload them yourselves? I need a custom avatar of a Dragon patting one of his little furry Elite Guards on the head.

If poor Ol' Stevo had made it he would've been killed at an extreme old age by the friendly new cuddly beasty!

@ Shadowdragon

Have you considered a lucrative career in fixing? If you're as flush as you say, get back into contact with the chummers you left behind and see about setting yourself up in a soft middleman gig.
My 2 worth

Part of the problem that was stated was that the character coulden't find any of the chummers he left behind.

Since Aunty H is busy I'll try to help out.

Rico retired a few years back. The person you want to talk to now is Carmen, she'll get you all the fun you need, for a price of course. Can't do much about the emerald as you can't account for taste. If you're looking for work I got a chummer who goes by Max Headroom who's always looking for discrete individuals. Finder's fees apply for both of course.

Dashifen, m'boy, you've got a lot of catching up to do.

LOLWUT?

I immediately thought of this thread when the DDH was asking about a format for answering questions. Even thought of suggesting enlisting AH.

i heard blackwing died