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Fortune
Ancient History ...

Has there been any mention of Cillian Nightprince other than in the blurb from Bottled Demon, where it states that he is Blackwing's normal partner?
Ancient History
I do not recall any previous mention, nor could I find one immediately.
Fortune
Ok thanks. I couldn't find (or recall) any other information on him either. A player that I know is interested in finding out his background, or developing it if it wasn't detailed in canon.
Ancient History
I checked again, and I think that's a fairly open plot end. Could be anybody from the uber-secret founder of the Princes in Tarislar to Banshee's mother. Go nuts.
fistandantilus4.0
I've been checking out Blackwing for a while, and was just curios about something. He shows up in (to my knowledge) Bottled Demon, Dragon Hunt, and Corporate Punishment. In CP, it says that he lost the favor of one Prince because of some failure in the past, and was nearly executed, but somehow won the favor of another prince. WHich debacle was this? Anyone got the full scan?
Ancient History
It was after Bottled Demon. He returned to Tir Tairngire by flashing some diplomatic ID...but the idol had already been defused. All he did was waste the nobleman's time and money, plus fingering him for the job. Big mess.
fistandantilus4.0
merci.
That's what I was thinking, just looking for seme verification. Just started running that game . Should be fun.
Lenice Hawk
Can we have a new forum called "Dear AH"? Like "Dea Abby", but not about any of those silly personal issues. spin.gif
FrostyNSO
If he answered those personal issues with a 6th world slant (which he seems to have a lot of knowledge about), it could be entertaining smile.gif
tisoz
Something along either/both lines would probably be a fine addition and generate a lot of traffic to his site that he's always pimpin'. wink.gif (Ok, maybe not always. smile.gif )
Fortune
That was the general idea behind making this thread. wink.gif
ShadowDragon8685
So, who's gonna kick the ball off? Your own personal problems, or your characters? I think it could be funny.
Fortune
Dear AH,

My summoner wants to molest me, then stick me in a furnace and cover me with a diamond coating. What can I do to change his mind about this?

- Ally Oop
tisoz
QUOTE (Fortune)
Dear AH,

My summoner wants to molest me, then stick me in a furnace and cover me with a diamond coating. What can I do to change his mind about this?

- Ally Oop

LOL

Now I can't ask my semi-serious question. frown.gif

Fortune
Sure you can. What's stopping you? Even Dear Abby can answer more than one question a day.
ShadowDragon8685
Dear AH,

My sammie's my best friend, y'dig? But he's got this habit he picked up from me... I own a pair of Dikoed Chrome pistols, a collectors' set... He's picked it up, and now he dikoes everything he owns. At first I thought it was just a hobby, when he dikoed that mace we picked up from a museum, but now he's dikoed his cyberlimbs, and not only does it ruin stealth, it eats up our cash faster than we can run. The rent's coming due, and he just keeps dikoting away. He dikoted the toilet yesterday... What do I do?

- Broke Decker
Ancient History
QUOTE (Fortune)
Dear AH,

My summoner wants to molest me, then stick me in a furnace and cover me with a diamond coating. What can I do to change his mind about this?

- Ally Oop

Dear Ally Oop,

The Astral Space Preservation Society has sanctuaries for spirits just like you, and you need to seek out their offices as soon as possible. Just because you were summoned into this world by an arcane formula and the strength of their will does not give your summoner the right to abuse you. Seek help. Get away.

Or smother the slitch while she's sleeping with her hand between your thighs.

-AH
Ancient History
QUOTE (ShadowDragon8685)
Dear AH,

My sammie's my best friend, y'dig? But he's got this habit he picked up from me... I own a pair of Dikoed Chrome pistols, a collectors' set... He's picked it up, and now he dikoes everything he owns. At first I thought it was just a hobby, when he dikoed that mace we picked up from a museum, but now he's dikoed his cyberlimbs, and not only does it ruin stealth, it eats up our cash faster than we can run. The rent's coming due, and he just keeps dikoting away. He dikoted the toilet yesterday... What do I do?

- Broke Decker

Dear Broke,

First, I suggest you enroll in an online reading course. It is sad that the youth of today are so illiterate, and your spelling hurts my eyes.

Your samurai friend suffers from the unusual psychological illness omnidikotemania, but has apparently only reached the second stage, as he has yet to dikote™ his genitalia or head. Your best bet is to slip a psychotropic IC program into his simporn stash. Failing that, it's time to call the men in white coats.

Incidentally, dikoted™ toilets are much easier to clean and resist mildew. Very hygenic.

-AH
ShadowDragon8685
okay, that's gotta be the most amazing run of missed Ts ever. I KNOW it's Dikote... Is my keyboard messed up?
weblife
LOL, I was convinced your character had a slur of some kind. On purpose. wink.gif
ShadowDragon8685
"Di-koed."
Hmmmmmmm. smile.gif
hobgoblin
ah, not only do you have a unmatched knowledge of the sr world but your allso one hell of a comedian silly.gif

those answers where excelent!
Cynic project
How many rounds from a Ma Duece would it take to kill Quicksilver?
Ancient History
Trick question. You use the gun to beat him to death.
Aku
Dear AH,

I'm a run of the mill street decker, who helps out a few friends when i can that reside in the shadows, but i have a problem. Namely, i spend too much time looking for the "good" cameras that the security team has hidden (in places they shouldnt) and not enough time trying to find the information that my contacts need. i know it sounds wierd, but as soon as i find one secretary cam™, i just feel compelled to look for more, and see which exec has the best lookin secretary, and it just snowballs from there. It's REALLY amazing where some of these cams get hidden.

Distracted Decker
Ancient History
QUOTE (Aku)
Dear AH,

I'm a run of the mill street decker, who helps out a few friends when i can that reside in the shadows, but i have a problem. Namely, i spend too much time looking for the "good" cameras that the security team has hidden (in places they shouldnt) and not enough time trying to find the information that my contacts need. i know it sounds wierd, but as soon as i find one secretary cam™, i just feel compelled to look for more, and see which exec has the best lookin secretary, and it just snowballs from there. It's REALLY amazing where some of these cams get hidden.

Distracted Decker

Dear Distracted,

It saddens and dissapoints me when I run into young, talented deckers with your affliction. You simply must train yourself to think of your teammates first. Besides, looking for secretarycams™ are a waste of time. You should hit up the executive datastores where they keep all the really good footage. Better yet, you can code in a backdoor to their little networks so that you can check out those hot, lithe wageslave goddesses in your free time. What are they gonna do if they find out? Politely ask the corp decker to ignore their little smut-node?

So remember. Think of your teammates first.

-AH
ShadowDragon8685
(How about another one, from a character of mine)

Dear AH,

Okay, so here's the deal... I'm a decker, new in town from Tokyo, and I've been having a lot of problems getting started... The Seattle Shadows have been really wonderful, all my friends and even complete strangers are fast to jump to the aid of a new runner in need. But I'm like, well... Not doing so good on the love scene, you know? I mean, there's a fair shortage of attractive female runners, and it dosen't help that I'm a girl myself, hunting a girl... I can't really find anyone, but there's one person I'm interested in. She's one of those Night-Ones, really interesting, an older decker who kinda helps me, took me under her wing sort-of, and pretty hot... And I'm kind of dieing to know what that fur feels like, but... Well, I know she has twins, and I think she's married, though I think she may be a widow, because her husband if any never comes up... She does have a wedding ring, too...

Should I ask? Try to seduce her?


- Loveless in Seattle
Ancient History
QUOTE (ShadowDragon8685)
(How about another one, from a character of mine)

Dear AH,

Okay, so here's the deal... I'm a decker, new in town from Tokyo, and I've been having a lot of problems getting started... The Seattle Shadows have been really wonderful, all my friends and even complete strangers are fast to jump to the aid of a new runner in need. But I'm like, well... Not doing so good on the love scene, you know? I mean, there's a fair shortage of attractive female runners, and it dosen't help that I'm a girl myself, hunting a girl... I can't really find anyone, but there's one person I'm interested in. She's one of those Night-Ones, really interesting, an older decker who kinda helps me, took me under her wing sort-of, and pretty hot... And I'm kind of dieing to know what that fur feels like, but... Well, I know she has twins, and I think she's married, though I think she may be a widow, because her husband if any never comes up... She does have a wedding ring, too...

Should I ask? Try to seduce her?


- Loveless in Seattle

Dear Loveless,

There's a person for everyone in this wide, wonderful Sixth World, even Seattle. I suggest finding a sitter for the twins and having a girls-night-out, go clubbing together and get really drunk. That way, both of you can spill whatever secrets you have and make out if you want to.

Now, always come prepared with an easy-to-clean water-based lubricant. Those messy oils are hell to clean out of fur, and tend to get sticky. Likewise, always pet along the fur, never against it...you'd literally be rubbing her the wrong way.

In the event it doesn't work out, I know an ork called Rico down in Tacoma that can set you up with anything you're looking for at very reasonable prices. Make sure you've had your shots first, fifteen nuyen finders fee applies.

-AH
Hitomi
Dear AH,

Im tired of always cleaning my equipment from the various blood and other bodily fluids that stain. What do you suggest for the removal of these stains on variuos peices of clothing and gear. I'm always replacing equipment and that gets expensive.

Constantly Cleaning
Ancient History
QUOTE (Hitomi)
Dear AH,

Im tired of always cleaning my equipment from the various blood and other bodily fluids that stain. What do you suggest for the removal of these stains on variuos peices of clothing and gear. I'm always replacing equipment and that gets expensive.

Constantly Cleaning

Dear Constantly,

Shadowrunners should always wear latex and machine-washable kevlar full-body outfits for normal operating procedures. Civilian clothes should be burned after a run to dispose of possible evidence and ritual links. However, in the event you get blood on your favorite top or pair of jeans while going to a movie, I suggest using club soda or the latest colorized bleach™ alternative. Awakened runners may prefer the vampiric hamster. Kept by most seamstresses, these albino paracritters can easily remove the hardiest blood stains in minutes.

A rack-mounted industrial dishwasher is ideal for cleaning most gear except weapons, which you should have dismantled, cleaned and oiled by a professional. Vehicles smaller than a LAV may be handled by your local carwash, or possibly cheaper by those ork kids with rags and a hose.

-AH
FrostyNSO
Ok, here's one from one of my characters:


Dear AH,

I'm a transplanted Russian living in Seattle at the moment, and so far I've been really lucky in my career field aside from an incident that occurred when I first got here that landed me in jail for a stint.
Long story made short, I've had this parole officer for a while and she's a real hottie. We've had a little "arrangement" for a while now to make things easier on eachother's work, and I think there might be something more to it if you know what I mean.
Now, I've been having good luck at work like I said, and some buddies of mine have offered to fix me up with a new identity free of that pesky criminal background. The thing is, I'm not a very charming guy and hottie parole officers don't come along every day, especially for guys like me.
I've saved up a good little nest egg, and I can't decide: Should I leave my old identity and my parole officer behind, or should keep things how they are now? Is there anything I can do to create more options for myself in this situation?

Undecided in Seattle
Ancient History
QUOTE (FrostyNSO)
Ok, here's one from one of my characters:


Dear AH,

I'm a transplanted Russian living in Seattle at the moment, and so far I've been really lucky in my career field aside from an incident that occurred when I first got here that landed me in jail for a stint.
Long story made short, I've had this parole officer for a while and she's a real hottie. We've had a little "arrangement" for a while now to make things easier on eachother's work, and I think there might be something more to it if you know what I mean.
Now, I've been having good luck at work like I said, and some buddies of mine have offered to fix me up with a new identity free of that pesky criminal background. The thing is, I'm not a very charming guy and hottie parole officers don't come along every day, especially for guys like me.
I've saved up a good little nest egg, and I can't decide: Should I leave my old identity and my parole officer behind, or should keep things how they are now? Is there anything I can do to create more options for myself in this situation?

Undecided in Seattle

Dear Undecided,

The obvious solution is to take the free ID and keep the hottie. Simply use your new ID for all purposes of identification and billing. You can still maintain the best benefits of your current lifestyle, so long as you avoid slapping your parole officer in the face with your new ID.

If worst comes to worst and you need to "play dead" for a while, undergo cosmetic surgery and show up in her life a couple months later...that way, you can woo her under your new identity!

Remember shadowkids, it's not bigamy if you don't marry her under your real name!

-AH
DocMortand
(This is for all you Arcology Shutdown residents...)

Dear AH,

I keep hearing strange noises outside my door...it sounds kinda like the neighbor is having problems with her robotic dog. I want to go over there and tell 'em to be quiet, only to find out my door is locked and won't open...

I just moved to the Renraku Arcology last year, and up until now it was a sweet deal with a little asian hottie, but she ain't here and I'm bored. Any suggestions?

~Locked and Loaded
Ancient History
QUOTE (DocMortand)
(This is for all you Arcology Shutdown residents...)

Dear AH,

I keep hearing strange noises outside my door...it sounds kinda like the neighbor is having problems with her robotic dog. I want to go over there and tell 'em to be quiet, only to find out my door is locked and won't open...

I just moved to the Renraku Arcology last year, and up until now it was a sweet deal with a little asian hottie, but she ain't here and I'm bored. Any suggestions?

~Locked and Loaded

Dear Locked,

Prepare yourself for a traumatic experience. You're going to become an otaku. Like being pregnant, there's no "kinda" about it. Any hope you had of living a socially well-adjusted life with asian honeys is gone.

-AH
CirclMastr
(To hearken back to the familiar...)

Dear AH,

A friend of mine told me recently he was going to visit some street genie or something. Now, at first I didn't pay much attention because he's one of those magic types and I'm more about wires. But then the next day he showed up at our regular haunt with these strange cuts. I asked him about it but he said he had to think about something and left. I tried to put it out of my head, but the day after that he showed up again with fresh cuts, and they don't even match the old ones. He looked kinda pale and wouldn't talk to me. It's been a couple days, and I don't want to overreact but I'm starting to get worried about him. Problem is, like I said, I'm just a mundane gun-toter, I wouldn't know where to begin looking for a mage. Am I right to worry? Is self-mutilation common for those people? What should I do?

-Magically Unendowed
ShadowDragon8685
QUOTE
In the event it doesn't work out, I know an ork called Rico down in Tacoma that can set you up with anything you're looking for at very reasonable prices. Make sure you've had your shots first, fifteen nuyen finders fee applies.


HAAAAhahaahaaaaah. That 'contact' NEEDs an AH Writeup. smile.gif
hermit
Dear AH,

I recently was transferred from accounting to outsourcing and deniable asset management at a major multinational company. I regularily have to contract work to, you know, deniable assets. Now, I would like to have a somewhat relaxed and productive working environment, so that both the subcontractors and my employer get optimised results.

Now, my first business meeting with would-be subcontractors proved to be anything but relaxed - bnot only did they appear fully armed and try to intimidate me, so that I had to fall back on pointing out the presence of two armed special security guards, which, understandably, increased tensions. Furthermore, I found the subcontractors weren't dedicated to keeping their side of the contract, by witholding information and material from me. When I inquired, they quickly turned violent. This meeting was anything but pleasant, and had my superior not insisted I take two fully equipped Special Security Services teams with me, I might not have survived the meeting!

Now, I would like to avoid future disasters like this. Any advice?

Sincerely,

Mr. Smith.
Ancient History
QUOTE (CirclMastr)
(To hearken back to the familiar...)

Dear AH,

A friend of mine told me recently he was going to visit some street genie or something. Now, at first I didn't pay much attention because he's one of those magic types and I'm more about wires. But then the next day he showed up at our regular haunt with these strange cuts. I asked him about it but he said he had to think about something and left. I tried to put it out of my head, but the day after that he showed up again with fresh cuts, and they don't even match the old ones. He looked kinda pale and wouldn't talk to me. It's been a couple days, and I don't want to overreact but I'm starting to get worried about him. Problem is, like I said, I'm just a mundane gun-toter, I wouldn't know where to begin looking for a mage. Am I right to worry? Is self-mutilation common for those people? What should I do?

-Magically Unendowed

Dear Unendowed,

Magicians go insane on a regular basis. Unfortunately, like teenagers, they tend to break if you push them too hard about where they go and what they're doing. You should always keep an eye on them for self-destructive behavior, and every now and then you might want to schedule an intervention.

Father Pietro and his Holy Warriors at Saint Barnabus the Echondriite's Church in Tarislar is your best bet. For a reasonable fee, his crack team of exorcists will, with the information your provide, take your friend for an extended treatment including exorcism, pscyhological analysis, complete blood change, and doses of methadone as needed.

50 nuyen.gif finders fee applies.

-AH
Ancient History
QUOTE (hermit)
Dear AH,

I recently was transferred from accounting to outsourcing and deniable asset management at a major multinational company. I regularily have to contract work to, you know, deniable assets. Now, I would like to have a somewhat relaxed and productive working environment, so that both the subcontractors and my employer get optimised results.

Now, my first business meeting with would-be subcontractors proved to be anything but relaxed - bnot only did they appear fully armed and try to intimidate me, so that I had to fall back on pointing out the presence of two armed special security guards, which, understandably, increased tensions. Furthermore, I found the subcontractors weren't dedicated to keeping their side of the contract, by witholding information and material from me. When I inquired, they quickly turned violent. This meeting was anything but pleasant, and had my superior not insisted I take two fully equipped Special Security Services teams with me, I might not have survived the meeting!

Now, I would like to avoid future disasters like this. Any advice?

Sincerely,

Mr. Smith.

Dear Mr. Smith,

You are way too tense. Make sure to take your proscribed medication from the corporate autodoc a good half-hour before the meeting. Furthermore, try to frequent upscale clubs for the meeting. They have better security systems, and it tends to keep the riff-raff out.

Now, keep in mind that deniable asset management can be a very prestigious step in your career. You need to go to your mandated corporate power management sessions and adjust your attitude. Climb that ladder! Work the angles! Get the most work for the least money! Most of all, screw those assets before they screw you.

You'll find my very reasonable consultation bill and optional confidentiality fee chart enclosed.

-AH
ShadowDragon8685
Frag that, AH did a much better job. smile.gif
hermit
Dear AH,

Recently, a fellow team member has picked up some feral cat in Amazonia. A weird magical kind of feral cat, to make things worse. After reading up on it in Patterson's New Guide of SURGE'd Animals, I concluded it is some variant South American of the Devil Cat. Now, she doesn't seem to want to part with it, has even brought it back to Seattle ... and that ticks me off.

Because, you know what? This cat is smart. I know it. It also can make people do things. And it is manipulative. I want it gone. But I don't want Bear to noptice this. Because, well, she's a bitch to begin with, and as much as I hate it, I have to work with her. I already tried to kill the beast two times, but no use - it stopped me cold and alerted it's pet dwarf shaman. Big shit.

What can I do? Any advice? And way to kill cats without either the beast or the shaman noticing? Help!

Thanks,

Cat Nightmares.
Ancient History
QUOTE (hermit @ Jul 4 2005, 05:50 PM)
Dear AH,

Recently, a fellow team member has picked up some feral cat in Amazonia. A weird magical kind of feral cat, to make things worse. After reading up on it in Patterson's New Guide of SURGE'd Animals, I concluded it is some variant South American of the Devil Cat. Now, she doesn't seem to want to part with it, has even brought it back to Seattle ... and that ticks me off.

Because, you know what? This cat is smart. I know it. It also can make people do things. And it is manipulative. I want it gone. But I don't want Bear to noptice this. Because, well, she's a bitch to begin with, and as much as I hate it, I have to work with her. I already tried to kill the beast two times, but no use - it stopped me cold and alerted it's pet dwarf shaman. Big shit.

What can I do? Any advice? And way to kill cats without either the beast or the shaman noticing? Help!

Thanks,

Cat Nightmares.

Dear Cat,

All cats are naturally intelligent, psychopathic, cruel and liable to refrain from pissing on you even if you're bruning to death. Awakened Cats are worse, and enjoy enhanced intelligence and magical powers.

There are only two solutions. One, you can attempt to placate the cat with gifts: organic catnip, bound and helpless demon rats to play with, a cat of the opposite gender in heat, and small trideo sets with cats-paw sized buttons work well.

Alternatively, you can call a professional. Fees may be steep, but they're worth it. Tell him I sent you can get fifty percent off the cost of the bullet!

-AH
weblife
Haha! Awesome linkage AH! rotfl.gif
hermit
Indeed. I'll recommend reading that to "Cat Nightmares'" player. He REALLY loathes that cat. Who knows? He might actually hire a pro killer to dispose of it.
ShadowDragon8685
The Pet Pro is an awesome comic, isen't it?
sanctusmortis
Wow. I didn't think so many other people read it...
Trax
I highly recommend this one to Cat Nightmare's player. Perhaps he could use it in his next run. biggrin.gif

This ain't no can of tuna
ShadowDragon8685
I don't even have to click the link. I know.

Muahahahaahaaahaaaah! smile.gif
Trax
I want to do that to my SR van as well, it's useful for all occassions.
ShadowDragon8685
"This ain't no extraction!"

smile.gif


"This ain't no Lone Star!"

wink.gif
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