Dana jumps instinctively as the stone is tossed at her and when she identifies Addie she runs toward her. She ignores the singing children - difficult to keep secrets in such a small group and as long as they just know about the kissing part Dana is satisfied.

She smiled at the children and then aped the tree toward Addie. "Addie!" she cried happily and asked "Found anything of interest ?"

Day 42, Final Leg, San Francisco?

It has been a long and arduous trek across increasingly hostile territory, but something has always drawn you on, compelled you to seek out civilisation which always promises to be over the next rise, and never is…

Your original group is considerably thinned from the sixty or so that started out, but bolstered by Tamsin’s group after the standoff on the ridge and its resolution, thankfully without conflict. Since then you’ve dealt with more feral dog packs and another group that could barely call itself children like yourselves…obviously dropped here as you were but devolving into primitive and very savage predators.

The land has been desolate, but not completely barren and you’ve scavenged and hunted your way here…now you are finally looking down on the ocean, pristine and unforgiving as it bashes itself against the dry dry land. On the far side of the bay you can see the remains of a great city, one that has succumbed to whatever devastation has been visited on the lands you have passed through…but what has captured your attention is the massive gothic edifice that rises out of the bay, something you are sure couldn’t really be there. And yet your senses, mundane, magical and technological, let you know the impossible tower is standing there. Huge gates, meters high are standing open to you… and sitting calmly cross legged on the ground infront of them is…Aria? You know she was here with you this morning…and nobody has gone past your outriders…

Addie: Day 42, Final Leg, San Francisco?

Addie takes a moment to compose herself and calm her thoughts, then steps forward and gives her best ‘skeptical babysitter’ look to Aria. She sends a message via link >>Aria [Addie] I’ve learned enough about links these past weeks to realize that you are not using one yourself. I don’t know how you access the matrix, but apparently you can also just re-appear elsewhere. I hope you will offer an explanation of sorts for this. Personally I’ve been hoping that this is just an amazing computer simulation and the real me is still going to high school, fighting with her Mom, and not living through death and despair. But whatever explanation you can offer, I’m eager to hear it.<<

Maya is as surprised as anyone else and stands in awe of the ruins in the distance and the tower somewhat closer. She, too, steps forward to talk with Aria, but she lets others talk first. She reaches down to pet the pair of growing wolf pups before standing and taking Raferty's hand in hers and holding it tightly.

Raf thrilled as Maya took his hand. It made him glad his father had left them alone.

And now he had another puzzle to ponder.

He chuckled to himself as he remembered the debat he'd had with himself on the first day of this experience, deciding whether to operate under the assumption that any of this was real.

This completely incorrect version of San Francisco was empirical evidence that he needed to revisit that question.

Position 1: All his own memories were real. So this was an illusion. Which meant anything since arriving 'here' and even all the people around him could also be illusory.

Position 2: This was real, so all his past memories were illusory. And thus his entire sense of self perhaps incorrect.

Position 3: This was real, and so were his memories. Which meant he had been transported to another plane of existence.

Position 4: This was real, and so were his memories. Which meant he had been transported to another time, either by magic (though that was supposedly impossible), technology (again, impossible), or, more likely, through his consciousness of time having been removed temporarily, so that time passed without his body changing, effectively transporting him to the future.

Position 5: Nothing at all was real, even himself. Cogito ergo es be damned.

If it weren't for Maya's hand and the closeness of her body, he'd be fairly well inclined to Position 5 at this point. That at least would be interesting. But since Maya's existence - illusory or otherwise - in his consciousness was pleasant, he was going with 1 through 4, and didn't really care which it was.

Maya stands next to Raferty and squeezes his hand as some of the others begin to move toward Aria and the building. She is shivering a little, but is not cold. Turning to her companion, she says, "It seems that we are somewhere or somewhen other than where we were a bit ago. I am not sure that I have anything there I really need to go back to. Would you be interested is staying here with me? Maybe there are a few others that would stay as well."

Raf shrugged. Her request made him happy. But of course she meant it for everyone.

"If here is real then I am not. And if I am real then here is not. So either way it's an impossible question."

Day 42, Final Leg, San Francisco?

Aria skipped up from her position in front of the enormous gates and danced towards you with a smile on her face. Although her voice is the light child’s that you recognise the tone is surprisingly old

“Well played my friends, well played…and welcome back to the Citadel! Come inside and I will answer your questions, I know you have many…they all do…”

And she leads you inside past the vast gargoyle encrusted entrance…gargoyles whose eyes follow you as you enter. A long passageway lined with impossibly tall statues leads you in to a vast hall dominated by a spinning orrery

Aria’s voice somehow carries to you all, not at all lost in the space

“And so you return to where you started and the game is concluded, for now at least. Thank you for volunteering, your help has been invaluable. I know the simulation has been hard on some of you and those that want to can choose to forget all but the briefest of recollections of a time well spent and move on to some of the lighter offerings of my game host. The portal on my right will take you home… Those that wish to progress can take the portal on the left and find yourselves somewhere new…”

Addie, day 42 / The End of it All

Addie has wondered about whether this could be a simulation, almost from the beginning. There was just too many things that didn't make sense with the world as she knew it -- so she has wondered about what she'd do given a choice to let her real self have all of these memories, versus just letting them end with the simulation. So without hesitation she replies: "I definitely want to remember this, taking the good and the bad. I've learned so much about myself and about other people."

"I'm not sure about this other, next, 'game.' If we take that door, are these memories safe? Will we remember this in there?"

Turning to Dana and taking her hand she smiles and says "I guess some parts were too good to be true? But for sure those parts are a big part of why I want to remember. I don't know what happens once we are 'back to reality,' and whether either of us goes into this new 'game,' but I promise that at the very least my offer to take you shopping still holds. And from there, well, I guess we can see? You know my name and about my family -- please find me. I'll try to find you, too, but I'm guessing it might be harder."

=======================================

Pierre, day 42 / @ The Answers at the back of the Textbook

"This explains so much! Widget and I kept talking about how steady the flow in the river was, and that it just didn't seem right given the weather. Colis! I wish he'd made it through to hear about this."

"So, what about the people who died during this, tabernac? Did you protect them from those memories? Give them a choice of some sort? Some had bad deaths ... I don't know that I'd want to remember being torn apart by dogs or by feral humans." He shivers at the thoughts. "All the same, I will choose to remember. I don't know it they will be useful, these memories of a simulation which is not quite like the world that is real, but I'll keep them."

"Take part in another experience like this one? No. I don't know what I had hoped to get from doing this thing, but I don't believe that I have gotten it. I am done."

Dana's eyes were wet, she was silent for a moment and then said to Addie "I love you Addie, I'll never forget you.

but would you really try to find me?

What if this warrior elf was just a fantasy?
What if I am just an ordinary teen that has been playing this game for far longer than the rest of you?

What if only my avatar can do these extraordinary things?

Would you really want to meet me then?"

Her heart was beating strongly - and she knew that perhaps this life, these relationships this world everything was over. She watched Addie and held her breath - time seemed to stand still.

"Well," Raf said, turning to those closest to him - at least those not having moments of their own - "assuming Aria here is real...and truthful...then it seems I am indeed real, and all this has been...well, it seems that at some point I cannot now recall, I actually agreed to this experience. Perhaps I'll remember making that choice after I go through the portal to the right here. And apparently, whichever portal you all choose, we'll all be back in the real world by this evening. So you know my name, look me up...although I fear that once we regain our proper recollective perspective, we may not feel as though we've been through a life-changing experience together, but rather that we simply had a nice afternoon of gaming - not exactly the same sort of bonding encounter. Well, I'm off, then. Thanks, I think."

Maya stands near the passage back the way they had come. She listens to Aria and is still not sure what has happened. Her mind does not think along the lines of trivid games and simulations. She has never had a use for either and still does not. As Raferty begins to walk away, she holds out a hand and calls his name. Then she calls out to Dana and Addie and Lindsey and the rest. "Wait. Please wait. You do not know what you will find if you go through that door on the right. It is possible that you will be nothing like what you are here. We might even be accessing this game site from different parts of the world and your names might not be what we know each other as. To some of you, that might be a comfort. But if that is all true, then we might not know each other and might never see each other again."

"If I am a simulation, I happen to like myself and do not wish to go back to what I was. Whoever that is through the right door is no longer me. I, Maya, am me and I am not going back to whatever the other person is."

She turns to Aria. "So, Aria, if we continue through the left portal, will I still be Maya or will I be someone different. Because if I would become someone different, I want to return to where I just was. That is real for me and that sort of life is what I want to have. I was created to be there and that is now the real me."

While waiting for Aria to answer her, Maya turns to the rest. "I said that I would lead until I got you home. With the help of many of you here, we have done just that. But I cannot go to the right door and I cannot go to the left door if it changes me to be someone else. If all of that is true, I want to go back into the wilderness we just left. Will anyone come with me? Raferty?"

[Cailin - 42nd day - Citadel] #183

From one day to the next, Cailin's mood and health declined. By the time they reached the Citadel, she was pretty much always exhausted, she was pretty much a walking rash: between her allergies, the background count and the general feel of the place for a Dryad... the past month had simply been hell to her. It's probably no surprise to anyone then that between two dry coughs, she says "Home. Definitely home. I can't believed I ever agreed to this."

Raferty looked at Maya. When resigned to the reality of this place, he had come to desire closeness to Maya as the one redeeming point of the place. But now she was real but none of the rest was.

And while it had neither surprised nor shocked him that she had expressed desire to forego civilization for their life in the wilderness before, it was disturbing now. "Maya, I'm not even sure backwards is an option on offer. Right is out of the game. Left is deeper. Either way, everything you are - we are - standing here at this moment is a digital construct, a representation of our real selves reclined in a chair somewhere jacked into this game host. Somewhere out there someone is caring for that real self, who is just as full of life and dreams as your digital construct is, though it is powered by a consciousness that, at this moment, cannot remember that other self. Staying here would either burden your carers both physically and emotionally, or, worse, endanger the life of your flesh self. And the moment that goes, so this the you that is here. Don't you owe it to yourself, and you family, to at least touch base? Tell you what, now that I now my parents are real and out there waiting for me - blimey, I've probably only been gone a few minutes or perhaps hours - now that I know they are real, I have to go to them. Besides, I haven't exactly handled this ordeal...well. I was really losing it there for a while, not sure I'm still not. Tell you what, you and I both leave the game, then we connect again - in reality. And see what happens. If this is all a game, we could come back any time. I don't know about you, but money won't be an object for me. What do you say?"

Maya shakes her head at Raferty. "I...I am not sure I can do that. I want to live and here I am alive. Out there I might be controlled by some 62 year old game junkie that has no real clue what he has created in me. I might be just pixels and electrons to him, and maybe to you, but not to me. Here I can breathe and feel and see. Here my memories are real. Here I can face challenges and overcome them. Here I can fall in love. Out there it is someone else. Listen, if you want to go, then go and see what your world is really like. I will wait here for a while. You tell me how many days to wait. If you come back, we can talk about it. If you forget me and don't come back, I will just go on."

Addie, @TheEnd

Quite visibly upset by what Maya's words, Addie shoots back "We can't be made up, everyone has too many memories!"

Turning back to Aria, she pleads "Please tell us that we are somehow scans off of real people, that I'm based on a real Addison, Maya the real Maya, and so on. Please!"

Maya turns to Aria as well. She, too, is interested in the answer, but she feels that Aria has already given them a clue. They live only here in the matrix gaming world. "Addie, if it is not true, are you willing to just be put in someone's saved game file and wait, perhaps never to come back out? I am not. I do hope that my staying here does not cause pain to whoever created me, but I am not willing to die here for that person. I deserve a life and I am not going back. That might be selfish, but I, no, WE, deserve to live. Addie, you can stay here and come with me. Anyone of us can. We might be matrix constructs out that right door, but right here we are alive. And I want to stay alive. Does anyone else?"

Day 42, Citadel Game Host

Aria smiled benignly up at you all and held out her hands placatingly…

“I assure you, whilst this is not real in one sense, you are all very much real, and alive and well in the world outside the simulation. We had to temporarily suspend part of your memories of your entry in to the game so that it felt real to you all…otherwise the data we collected would have been very different… but the other memories that make you you are real and not part of the game. If you go to my left that may change but at your essence you will still be you. The experiences of the UV host are partly generated by your own consciousness’s and expectations so it would do us little good to wipe that away now would it?

For those going to the right, thank you once again, you have provided insights that will shape things in the years to come. For those of you going on, please follow me…”

Addie@TheEnd


"I'm sorry, but I don't think I should go on. I've learned so much, changed so much, I think I need to take that back to my life and figure out who I am. It feels like most of what I knew about myself was wrong. Maybe I'd learn even more with another round of ... whatever this is -- simulation I guess? But starting from where I was again, not remembering all of these changes, that just doesn't feel right. Besides, even absorbing all of this is going to be a task and a half. Sorry that I'm not going on for more."

Turning to the others, she had some good-byes to say.

“Maya, thank you for leading us, and I’m sorry I doubted your path back on the first day. Maybe we could have avoided some tragedies if I’d thrown in behind you.”

“Dot, Pierre, Rusty -- thank you all for your friendship, advice, stories, and support. I’m glad that we can stop mourning Widget, if you get to meet him again and I don’t, please pass my thanks on to him, too.”

“Niyaf, I” she pauses for a moment for composure “I’m so sorry that I put you in the position that I did. I’m glad that you have the option of not remembering what happened. Should you choose not to take it, and we ever meet again, I’ll entirely accept if you are angry with me. And I'll remember what happened, whether or not you do.”

“Raf, Cailin, thank you for supporting Maya so ably. You are both pretty amazing, all the more for getting through this with even less experience on your side than most of the rest of us. I’m pretty sure you’ll both make your mark on the world.”

"Lindsey," she laughs "You are impossible for me to understand, but I can't imagine you any other way. I don't think I'd want you to be any other way. And thank you again for saving Dana, when we all thought death was for real. I still owe you, and I'll try to find a way to repay that."

“Dana, My Falcon, know that I’ll never forget you, and I will be trying to find you after this. I don’t know what will happen next between us, but I want to find out.” She wipes away a tear and tries to lighten things up: “And I’m 100% serious about taking you shopping!”

With that she quickly circulates amongst the group, hugging, shaking hands or giving distant nods as appropriate. For possibly one last time she pulls up her files on the kids, pulling up what details of their original life that she’d gleamed, wishing them well, setting up possible future contacts, and making sure she’s cemented them in her memory. She pauses with Maya one last time to encourage her “I’m convinced that there is a life for you out there. Take what you’ve learned, and embrace the leader that you can become. You have strength and wisdom, you could do so much … and I hate the idea of you staying here in this toxic environment, I don’t want to think about what it might do to you over time, unless you can get Aria to make a detoxed zone or something?”

One final hug and desperate kiss with Dana, a whispered “I’m NOT giving up on us!” and she is finally ready to leave.

[Cailin - 42nd day - Citadel] #184

Cailin sighs, looking at Maya and in some measure at Dana "When I'm back, the first thing I'll do will be to hug my Mother. She may be a bit surprised by the length of it, but happy with it all the same. So obviously, I'm not in the same position as you. But all the same... You say you want to live your life, to not be controlled, by staying here. But..." She shakes her head "You're only deluding yourselves. This, no matter what it is, where it takes you next, is only a dream. Your bodies are still in the hands of whoever you left them with, people who can do whatever they want with you, including pulling the plug. Plus, by avoiding them, by fleeing them, you take the decision to stay based on them, not on you."

She pauses, then shrugs "Why don't you take whatever you learned recently out there, in the real world, and make it work? Right now, you might be under the thumb of someone else, but surely going away is not outside of your means? And if you don't know where to go next..." She shrugs "I'm sure some of us would be able to provide something. Unless you're an elf I can't really, but otherwise..." she looks meaningfully at Raf'.

Maya listens to the others and shakes her head. "But what if my controller is not like me? He or she could be so different that even I would not recognize myself. What is the risk that anyone would even know or be interested in me?" She blushes a bit and looks at Raferty. "And I disagree a little with your analysis. Why would my controller have me thinking these thoughts? No, I think that we have evolved a bit in the games we have played already. Evolved enough to have a sort of life and will here."

She looks at Aria. "It might be different if I knew for sure that my controller out there is what I am here and not some sixty year old fat guy that mainlines pizza and beer while he plays trid games here."

[Cailin - 42nd day - Citadel] #185

Cailin shrugs "Aria already answered that question: we're no different in the real world than here, the only change was our last memories were blocked, nothing else."

Maya's will and resistance is broken and she nods. "Yes. I heard that, too. I did not want to believe and am not completely sure I do now." She moves to where Raferty is standing and takes one of his hands in hers. "But for some things I could take a chance, I suppose. If it is true and I come find you, do you think that you might be interested in me? Interested enough to see if there might be something worth exploring together?"

Raf tugged the proferred hand towards the right-hand portal. "Definitely interested," he said sincerely. He had a feeling that once she was back to her own context in the real world, she'd immediately lose interest in a twleve-year-old. But he was happy to have her affection even if only for the few steps to the portal. Right before he went though, he said, "Raferty Moses Farewell. Very easy to find."

And then he walked through the door and out of the game.

Six months and three days after jacking out of the game, Raferty Moses Farewell was sitting at the pool of his father's house, celebrating his thirteenth birthday. His mother had organized a big bash, over planning as usual. About fifty of Raf's friends from school had been invited and everyone seems to be having a good time. Raf has a stack of neat and expensive presents and is cutting the cake when the butler shows up with a long box that is evidently wrapped by a hand not skilled at the task. "Master Raferty, sir, this was delivered by hand a short while ago."

Both of Ref's parents had been too busy to actually be at the party, so the housekeeper had been tasked with managing the entire thing. "What is it, James?"

The butler holds out the box to Raferty. "I believe that it is a birthday present for Master Raferty, Mrs. Brooks."

The housekeeper comes over to look at it and sniffs. "I can't imagine."

The butler smiles to himself. "No, I am sure that you can't, Mrs. Brooks."

The estimable housekeeper gives the butler a sharp look then shrugs. "Well then, I suppose you ought to open it, Master Raferty."

As Raf removes the somewhat crude wrapping, he exposes a long box with a latch. When popped open, he sees two longish branches of wood of a nice diameter and flexible to the touch and several thin, straight branches of about three feet in length nestled in a soft, fur lining. A side pocket of the box has two coils of something that is definitely not string and a small pile of colorful feathers. Attached to the opposite side of the box is a sharp knife. An envelope is tied to one of the long pieces of wood and inside is a card. "After you make one for yourself, will you make one for me?"

The housekeeper sniffs again. "Well I never. The nerve of some people. This must be some sort of joke." She claps her hands and directs the attention of the assembled kids to the large cake.

The butler mutters under his breath. "I am sure you never have, Mrs. Brooks. And some nerve." He leans closer to Raferty's ear and whispers, "The young woman is on the bench at the bus stop opposite the end of the drive, Master Raferty." He stands up and takes the box from the boy. "I will get this up to your room, shall I?"

All of the kids laugh at the dumb present and move off to the cake and ice cream. All except one girl, who looks at the box and its contents with interest. Raf thinks her name is Gloria and that she is new to the school this year and has had a tough time fitting in with the other kids. Raf's mother knows her mother and has invited the new girl to the party to be fair. "After all, it is not her fault that her husband ran out on her and left her with the kid. You should try to make friends with her to show that we can accept other people, even........well, why is not important, dear. Just try, please?" Raf is not paying much attention to Gloria or the friends now crowded about the cake as he walks quickly away from the party pavilion, so he does not see the girl follow him. He breaks into a run after rounding the corner of the house, heading down the long drive to the gated entrance. As he approaches the ornate gate he sees a young woman just beyond it, sitting on the bench his father had put in for the non-resident staff to use while waiting for the bus to take them home. Raf slows to a stop as he reaches the gate and looks through the ornamental bars at Maya.

The young woman appears just about as he has remembered her. She still looks about 19, but might be 20 by now. Her face is cleaner than it was the last time he saw her, but he can clearly see the scarring on it that causes most people to look away. Her ebon hair might be a bit longer but it is hard to tell with it laying down her back in a long ponytail. He is not an expert on women's clothing, but Maya's dress seems to be in the style he sees some of the older sisters of his friends wearing. She stands as he walks up and the dress hem falls to just about mid calf.

A slight panting announces the arrival of the girl who had not laughed at the present. She moves to stand next to Raf as Maya walks to the gate, not flinching at the disfiguring scars she sees. The older girl looks through the bars and smiles. "Happy Birthday, Raferty. I am sorry that I have not been in touch for a couple of months. It is the rainy season in Borneo and the matrix connections have been poor to nonexistent. As it is, I barely got out in front of a typhoon. I hope that you like the gift. Everything is from Borneo and I hope that you can use it."

Raf nods and stares. He is still so very unsure what he feels and why. "Thanks. I will get working on those."

"Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?"

"Uh, sure. Maya, this is, uh......"

The girl chuckles and reaches a hand through the bars. "Gloria. Gloria Munch. Very nice to meet you."

Maya looks at her and smiles as she shakes the offered hand. "Maya Toroami. And it is nice to meet you, too, Gloria." She looks from the girl to Raf and nods, a look of sorrow and perhaps pain crossing her face as she looks to the ground for a few seconds. When she looks back up, she is smiling again. "He is going to need someone. Are you her?"

Gloria blushes a deep red and scuffs a toe in the gravel as she looks at Raf then back to Maya. "I think so. I mean, I think I want to be. If he wants it, that is?"

The last bit was said to Raf, who just looks a bit more confused before he nods and smiles at Gloria as she takes his hand in hers. Maya pulls a small card from her bag and hands it to Gloria. "Here is my com code. Please call me if you ever want to hear how brave and competent Raferty is. But I imagine that you might just figure all that out by yourself." She turns to Raf. "And you call me whenever you want to talk. About anything. Hmmm, I guess you will need to make that second bow for Gloria."

A large bus pulls up to the stop and Maya looks over her shoulder at it before looking back at Raf. "I need to go, Raferty. I did learn some things about myself while I was out there and the leadership skills I picked up have helped me a lot. You are looking at the leader of a Renraku expedition to Sumatra to bag an awakened tiger that is terrorizing some villages there. Could not have done it without you." She pauses and adds softly, "So long. Call me?"

Raf nods as Maya turns and walks to the bus. She looks back at both of them before stepping on and making her way to a seat then looks out the window at Raf as the door hisses closed and the bus rolls away down the street. Gloria is still holding Raf's hand when she turns to him. "She was very nice and seems to know you quite well. Is there a story there that you can tell me?"

Raferty looks into the eyes of the thirteen year old Gloria and sees what could very well be his future looking back at him and nods. "Yes, quite a story and I think that I am ready to tell it to someone. Do you have some time to listen to it?"

Gloria nods and the two start to slowly walk back up the long drive to the mansion.