What?? This is an outrage! Clearly the first step is to shoot the messenger.

(Hey, where's Gibraltar? That's just a make believe place, right? I mean, who would really name their country "Gibraltar"?)

*struggling in the arms of the guards*

Um. Begging your pardon, your honor, but I was told it was somewhere on the southern tip of somewhere called 'Spayne', although this is clearly a confabulation meant by my handlers to confuse and distract me, since I find no reference to it in the Drop Bear Conspiracy Manual.

And having just posted here, what should I run across but this article on flesh-eating kangaroos. I couldn't not mention it.

I think Drop Bears on a plane would work great. The only twist is, the horror doesn't take place on the plane. The horror takes place on the ground all across the world as Drop Bears DROP FROM THE MOTHERFUCKING PLANES!!!

Yes master.

Excellent. I'm sure Brother Oracle can provide your troops with some new invented anti-kangaroo weapons.

Thank you master. I have just removed the polystyrene packaging and I greatly look forwards to seeing the Cyberzombiewombat in action.

We are still in preparation of something special for you, Brother Witness. Something very special...and delicate...

OOH OOH IS IT A PONY? *claps hands excitedly*

I said delicate. Not tasty.

*sulks*

Pony... hmm.. do we have a Drop Bear Cavalry already?

Yes, they ride Jaberwokies

Cool. Who's commanding officer?

Han Solo

Pfff... he's not trustworthy enough. One of the Brothers here should become his... advidsor.

Hmm... What if we could train these kangaroos to our own ends? Mount the drop bear on its back. The kangaroo jumps into combat and the holy crusader drop bear leaps whilst his mount is at its peak. And given their shared cultural background (of being blood drinking marsupials), they may be more likely to work together.

I like the way you think!

The Drop Bears drink the target dry and the meat-eating kangaroos devour their corpses...

The same article also makes reference to 'demon ducks of doom'. Do not feed the demon ducks of doom.

ooh ooh ooh can I I have a demon duck? huh huh can I?

http://www.elgoonishshive.com/

Check out the comic for July 12th...


There's your demon duck.

It is a running gag in that comic, whenever a character needs a distraction they point and yell, "Look, A demon duck!" And the duck is there in the background.

Hmm...what about hiring Demon Ducks to serve as distractions so our Drop Bear Legions can drop on them more easily?

Or...Demon Drop Bear Legions!

FINALLY, I am pleased to anounce th Andrew Lloyd Webber is no more and has been replaced with a small drop bear opperating a human body like robot He will go by the name of andrew bruce lloyd webber. A highly trained drop bear soprano undercover agent carried out the hit using "How do you sove a problem like maria?" ( a reality tv show to choose the lead for sound of music, who ever said reality tv was good for nothing?) to get close to her target and tricked him into watching her "climb a tree and scrap her knee".

Drop Bears! should be in theatre's for christmas!

Excellent work, Brother Ophis! Any chance that Carmen Elektra will get a small role in the new musical?

Yes! YES! Samuroid batch 23! SAMUROID BATCH 23!!!

Please deliver the Carmen Elektra subject to the revolutionary HQ, R&D division, for further examination.

Thanks Brother Ophis. I'm sure Carmen will be thankful too.

All examination is for the greater good of the Drop Bear cause, right?

Of course brother. Do you like to take part in it?

Examination is up to you and our other eggheads. We do have other eggheads, do we?

I'll invite Carmen into one of our converting chambers and try my best to convert her to our cause. Which will be easy, 'cause she will be very grateful after getting a part in our world-famous new musical.

Of course we do. We have brother <CLASSIFIED>, brother <CLASSIFIED> and the young novice <CLASSIFIED>. The there is that Orang Utan. But I am not sure if he counts...

I don't know for sure if she will still be grateful after examinations.

send her to me before you do your examinations, 2 days with me and anything else will look like sweet sweet heaven in comparison

Brother warrior allanon, you first have to proove your dedication to the DBC before we would handle you over such a delicate task.

Yeah, like explain what he is going to do, Have her wash his underwear?

I was more along "conquering Texas", "rebuilding Alamos" or something smilar.

What's up with our North America conquest, btw?

It is currently too hot for the nordic squad to opperate, we'll keep you informed.

Drop Bears should be used to heat. We should increase the training time under harsh conditions, be it heat or cold (when they march to Alaska).

Or Brother Oracle and his team invent a weather control machine.

And what nordic sqauds? We have Pirate Ninja Surfer Drop Bears in Florida already!

I have a covert squad training in Cheney Washington and secretly replacing the Seattle Seahawks Equpment Managers. We're going to use the team's travel schedule as cover to set up cells in other NFL Cities.

The upper midwest nordic immigrant drop bear lutefisk brigade, of course. They are firmly entrenched in Minnesota, but the summer heat wave has been crippling.