Full Version: Planet of the Drop Bears
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Nothing is fine under the watchful eyes of the Inquisition, brother. Everyone is a sinner. But some sins are less severe than others.
Interesting. Do you want to confess a sin, brother Oracle?
The cow has a total of 7 stomaches, all of which are padded in nice, fleshy, grade A beef.
Might it be possible to somehow join all 7 stomaches, perhaps furnish them a bit, some hardwood floor or something, and store a commando within the cow? This will protect the bear during reentry, hopefully deliver him directly into the vehicle in question, and provide tasty meat should he miss and find himself stranded and awaiting pick-up. It's like some sort of... trojan cow... launched from space.
Might it be possible to somehow join all 7 stomaches, perhaps furnish them a bit, some hardwood floor or something, and store a commando within the cow? This will protect the bear during reentry, hopefully deliver him directly into the vehicle in question, and provide tasty meat should he miss and find himself stranded and awaiting pick-up. It's like some sort of... trojan cow... launched from space.
Oh Mighty Elder Grinder allow my troops to provide chastisement to the heritics,
I am quite surprised that all this prattle about cattle is being allowed to go on and on in this supposedly 'sacred shrine', but then I guess I can't expect any better from worshipers of little fuzzy rodents.
*coughs and quickly lights his notes on fire*
Soooo! Right! Honorable and most just Council, I've just been informed by my researchers that the advanced panda programs office has just suffered a horrific purge by fire.
*Snaps his gaze at Magus*
Wait just a moment! Are you not the CO of a unit of Drop Bears who RIDE NINJA'S? How dare you pass judgement on me and my purely speculative pandas!
Soooo! Right! Honorable and most just Council, I've just been informed by my researchers that the advanced panda programs office has just suffered a horrific purge by fire.
*Snaps his gaze at Magus*
Wait just a moment! Are you not the CO of a unit of Drop Bears who RIDE NINJA'S? How dare you pass judgement on me and my purely speculative pandas!
QUOTE (Fortune @ Apr 28 2008, 06:38 AM) 
I am quite surprised that all this prattle about cattle is being allowed to go on and on in this supposedly 'sacred shrine', but then I guess I can't expect any better from worshipers of little fuzzy rodents.
...Eucalyptus splash grenades...check
...Enfield GL-67...check
...lock and load.
No Doc I am the CO of a Unit of Drop Bear NINJA PIRATES who ride Surfboards!
Because what could be better than a Pirate Ninja?
Because what could be better than a Pirate Ninja?
A Pirate Ninja Elf! 
A Pirate Ninja Drop Bear, of course.
Well, CO Magus, if you and your troops found evidence of heresy, it is your holy duty to drag the suspects to the next stronghold of the Inquisition. If the accusations are true, your troops can be a part of the following chastisement.
Well, CO Magus, if you and your troops found evidence of heresy, it is your holy duty to drag the suspects to the next stronghold of the Inquisition. If the accusations are true, your troops can be a part of the following chastisement.
*winces under Magus stern and utterly commanding language*
Oh... Wow, that is pretty awesome. Drop bear ninja pirates? I... I... I am in humble awe.
Oh... Wow, that is pretty awesome. Drop bear ninja pirates? I... I... I am in humble awe.
Doc Taotsu You are hereby commanded to present thyself to the board of inquiry that shall take place after you are submersed in the new improved singing credo of the Holy Drop that my troops and I have setup on the Small World ride. You are to be placed into this Holy Cathedral and will remain in its Holy confines from dawn til dawn. Then you will face the Inquistion and answer to the charges of heresy.
I... I... cannot but submit to the awesomeness that are surfing ninja pirate drop bears...
Their cause can only be just. I will begin the ritual purification of the Holy Drop.
Their cause can only be just. I will begin the ritual purification of the Holy Drop.
The first step is re-reading the entire holy Drop Bear thread.
*eyes glaze over in unspeakable EVVVVVILLLE rapture*
My god... it's full of drop bears...
My god... it's full of drop bears...
And Enlightenment.
Heretics would call it madness.
Hmm... It isn't heresy to feed drop bears double bacon cheeseburgers and shakes until they reach the size of pandas, THEN throw them out of suborbitals, is it? That would seem like a... not graceful, but perhaps effective solution?
QUOTE (Oracle @ Apr 29 2008, 03:00 PM)
Heretics would call it madness.
How would you call it?
@nezumi: as long as you don't plan to create Drop Pandas, everything's fine. Drop Bears can be trained to fill different role and if it needs cheeseburgers to bring them into the right shape to do their job as [please insert approbiate name here], everything's fine.
Oh Great Elders of the GDC, I am working my way through all of the holy texts.
I wish to indoctrinate my players and wanted to know if anyone had 4th edition stats for the drop bears.
I wish to indoctrinate my players and wanted to know if anyone had 4th edition stats for the drop bears.
Normal-sized drop bears, or the little parasitic ones? Because I have this raging nasal infestation...
QUOTE (Grinder @ Apr 28 2008, 12:03 AM)
The Inquisition does have a close look to to your work, but so far everything's fine. Thinking about adding the holy Drop to other species then the Drop Bear on the other hand....
...all is understood. Our founder Princess Kam herself has transmitted her humblest apology to the council. We have since redirected our efforts back to a purely technological solution to the vehicular armour issue without resorting to introduction of other species into the equation.
Aeon Labs
It's Not Magic, Just Superior Technology
Excellent.
And Novice Beetle, welcome to he Holy Drop. Please let us know when you've finished reading the Holy Thread.
And Novice Beetle, welcome to he Holy Drop. Please let us know when you've finished reading the Holy Thread.
QUOTE (HentaiZonga @ Apr 30 2008, 01:23 AM)
Normal-sized drop bears, or the little parasitic ones? Because I have this raging nasal infestation...
HERETIC!! To compare the Holy Drop Bear to a common parasite!! Ye must be aligned with the Immoral ElF!
Prepare to be DROPPED!!
QUOTE (Beetle @ Apr 30 2008, 12:46 AM)
Oh Great Elders of the GDC, I am working my way through all of the holy texts.
I wish to indoctrinate my players and wanted to know if anyone had 4th edition stats for the drop bears.
I wish to indoctrinate my players and wanted to know if anyone had 4th edition stats for the drop bears.
Yes, when I wrote my Drop Bear Adventure (missing only maps, pictures, and the final, climactic scene), I tried to dual-stat it as best I can. This should present some examples of SR4 drop bears. It is in the Drop Bear thread, and since you're reading this anyway, I'm sure you'll find it. I also have it on my thumb drive (in addition to all of my super-important documents, years of investment in written documents, critical work projects, etc.) which I have recently lost. When I find that, I can post it then as well.
QUOTE (Magus @ Apr 30 2008, 05:10 AM)
HERETIC!! To compare the Holy Drop Bear to a common parasite!! Ye must be aligned with the Immoral ElF!
Prepare to be DROPPED!!
Prepare to be DROPPED!!
*launches swarms of tiny dual-natured Drop Bears at Magus from his nose*
Ahh it hurts. I've just read the first 30 pages of this thread. Wow them drop bears are tricksy. Will try and finish it up later...
Tsk tsk. The fluffy rat's devotees are definitely getting slacker all the time. It's really almost sad.
QUOTE (Beetle @ Apr 29 2008, 11:46 PM)
Oh Great Elders of the GDC, I am working my way through all of the holy texts.
I wish to indoctrinate my players and wanted to know if anyone had 4th edition stats for the drop bears.
I wish to indoctrinate my players and wanted to know if anyone had 4th edition stats for the drop bears.
Young one, let me put your worries to rest. Drop Bears, like Harlequin, are not statted in canon. As has been stated so many times, "If you stat it, someone will kill it." Ergo, Drop Bears are not statted, and therefore cannot be killed Hence our impass and inability to destroy the Elf Cabal of Fortuna. Fortuna has no stats (besides the negative quality of Crazy Old Man, or C.O.M.-mie for short. In other words, Fortuna is a Commie.)
Move along to page 50 neophyte. Your cleansing by Holy Drop Fire has only just begun.
Hah, my wife found my jump drive yesterday (apparently it had dropped into my pants pocket). Here are the original stats for a Drop Bear, from SR3:
Drop Bear
B 3
Q 3 x 2
S 5
C -
I 2/4
W 5
E 6
R 3
Init 3 + 1d6
CP 6
Attack 5S
Powers: Adaptive coloration, immunity (pathogens, poisons)
Weaknesses: Dietary requirement (eucalyptus)
I'd not finished changing it over to SR4, but I will soon, at which point I'll put them next to Fortuna and all the other characters in the Cast section.
Finally done searching so I can go back to studying the thread like I should!
Drop Bear
B 3
Q 3 x 2
S 5
C -
I 2/4
W 5
E 6
R 3
Init 3 + 1d6
CP 6
Attack 5S
Powers: Adaptive coloration, immunity (pathogens, poisons)
Weaknesses: Dietary requirement (eucalyptus)
I'd not finished changing it over to SR4, but I will soon, at which point I'll put them next to Fortuna and all the other characters in the Cast section.
Finally done searching so I can go back to studying the thread like I should!
New Divination Technique : Drop Thread Searching - SR4
Metamagic Required: Divination
Tradition: Shamanic
A strange new phenomenom that has begun to make its way through the matirx is the curious divination technique of "Drop Thread Searching". To outsiders, the name its self is enigmatic, bewildering, and seemingly prone to the whims of gravity ( a force that generally has little affect on the matrix, and only occassionally on magic). To the Initiated however, it is a powerful (Search) tool. The technique arose apparently at the early turn of the century, from an undreground cult like group, at the time persecuted by so called "Immortal Elves" or "Those Immortal Mamby-Pambys" as cult members called them. The cultists, a rather tight knit and apparently extreme group (going so far as to have an actual inquisition among its operations) found that through deep communion with the so called "Drop Bear Thread", a long and rambling discussion of the "True" nature of the Australian Drop Bear, they could find insights into many of life's mysteries. For example they found there was a great and hidden power in the use of "quotation marks" that somehow inevitably drew the attention of the "reader" of a text. Somehow still surviving unto this day, the rare and obscure (some would say ridiculous, but not around trees or tall buildings) method of diving otherwise hidden facts remains in us by the remaining cult members and their descendants.
Metamagic Required: Divination
Tradition: Shamanic
A strange new phenomenom that has begun to make its way through the matirx is the curious divination technique of "Drop Thread Searching". To outsiders, the name its self is enigmatic, bewildering, and seemingly prone to the whims of gravity ( a force that generally has little affect on the matrix, and only occassionally on magic). To the Initiated however, it is a powerful (Search) tool. The technique arose apparently at the early turn of the century, from an undreground cult like group, at the time persecuted by so called "Immortal Elves" or "Those Immortal Mamby-Pambys" as cult members called them. The cultists, a rather tight knit and apparently extreme group (going so far as to have an actual inquisition among its operations) found that through deep communion with the so called "Drop Bear Thread", a long and rambling discussion of the "True" nature of the Australian Drop Bear, they could find insights into many of life's mysteries. For example they found there was a great and hidden power in the use of "quotation marks" that somehow inevitably drew the attention of the "reader" of a text. Somehow still surviving unto this day, the rare and obscure (some would say ridiculous, but not around trees or tall buildings) method of diving otherwise hidden facts remains in us by the remaining cult members and their descendants.
[ Spoiler ]
Thank you Oh Elder Fisty for that new mnemonic of Initiatory MetaMagic Techniques!! It is through thy and the other Elders Guidance the World shall soon witness the "Great Dropping" and convert to the "Holy Drop Bear". And all shall be good and wonderful.
Hmm... It occurs to me that, on further examination, perhaps about half of our members are directly part of, or involved in the inquisition.
Why are our numbers so low? One solution I can come up with is infiltrators. The remaining half are primarily immortal elf infiltrators who are seeking to cover their crimes.
I really can't think of any other reasons, actually.
Why are our numbers so low? One solution I can come up with is infiltrators. The remaining half are primarily immortal elf infiltrators who are seeking to cover their crimes.
I really can't think of any other reasons, actually.
And what of the few that are neither in the Inquisition nor being Immoral Elfs infiltrators. ( typos are there to help 
)
) QUOTE (nezumi @ May 14 2008, 09:37 AM)
I really can't think of any other reasons, actually.
As one who has faced the Inquisition in its righteous Dropiness and emerged wit stronger Bear-fu then ever, I can surely say that it is because it is better to be of the Inquisition than to face it.
Firestorm, lay worshipers, acolytes, hooded minions, and Elders all have their place in the Great Drop. Read until you find yours (or you can't read anymore because your eyes have hemmoraged. which ever comes first).
I was going to mention that you failed to list 'gullable fools', but then noticed that you did include 'Elders', so you didn't actually leave it out afterall.
[ Spoiler ]
QUOTE (fistandantilus4.0 @ May 18 2008, 04:04 PM)
[ Spoiler ]
Funny ... you'd think I'd fit right in.
Except for the racial bias (damn daisy eater), and the obligatory hate towards you. *shrug*
When I was voted on as an elder, no one tested me for megalomania. Nut job, yes. But then again, I always try to be respectful to elders. Maybe they wanted someone happy to share compliments at the board meetings.
We don't always need "testing" to confirm such things.
You forgot drunks. Then again maybe not.
I have returned from the testing out the "stuff" I was testing. It was a grueling process which involved alot of bugs biting me and seeing some spiders the size of my face. I have however prevealed and will submit a full report in a few days time.
I have returned from the testing out the "stuff" I was testing. It was a grueling process which involved alot of bugs biting me and seeing some spiders the size of my face. I have however prevealed and will submit a full report in a few days time.
QUOTE (Angelone @ May 20 2008, 11:22 AM)
I have returned from the testing out the "stuff" I was testing. It was a grueling process which involved alot of bugs biting me and seeing some spiders the size of my face. I have however prevealed and will submit a full report in a few days time.
Sounds like a run-of-the-mill, routine day for us Down Under.
This is terrible news, comrades!! The Immortal Elves have attacked us where it hurts - in the eucalyptus. Their machinations become clear; thousands of years of gently guiding humanity, of tremendous technical innovations, of discovery and exploration, it was all building up to this: killing the holy leaf.
The only defense is to attack those that create this carbon dioxide! A holy jihad against the air breathers! Let us convene at our ever-flying strato-fortress and discuss. We can bring up our aerial drop bear bombardment technology as well.
(As an interesting aside, koalas are one of few animals that have fingerprints, and in fact koala fingerprints are so much like human fingerprints that they're difficult to tell apart even with the aid of a microscope! Chimps, however, do not have fingerprints. Hmm... Perhaps indicative of the TRUE evolutionary line of humans? I notice chimps don't get HMHVV either.)
The only defense is to attack those that create this carbon dioxide! A holy jihad against the air breathers! Let us convene at our ever-flying strato-fortress and discuss. We can bring up our aerial drop bear bombardment technology as well.
(As an interesting aside, koalas are one of few animals that have fingerprints, and in fact koala fingerprints are so much like human fingerprints that they're difficult to tell apart even with the aid of a microscope! Chimps, however, do not have fingerprints. Hmm... Perhaps indicative of the TRUE evolutionary line of humans? I notice chimps don't get HMHVV either.)
...aloha, and you have our support.
The Short One was right, you never could trust those (as she so eloquently refers to them) "Long Eared Galoots"
Aeon Labs
It's Not Magic, Just Superior Technology
The Short One was right, you never could trust those (as she so eloquently refers to them) "Long Eared Galoots"
[ Spoiler ]
Aeon Labs
It's Not Magic, Just Superior Technology
QUOTE (nezumi @ May 20 2008, 06:40 AM)
Perhaps indicative of the TRUE evolutionary line of humans? I notice chimps don't get HMHVV either.)
[ Spoiler ]
Hmm.. As has been brought up elsewhere, there are no SR4 stats for the drop bear. Is this a failure on our part, or is it based on the theory that 'if it has stats, you can kill it'? Are we making an unstoppable bear?
I've read nothing on Dumpshock for the past two days but this thread. All I can say is please let the burning of my eyes stop now, oh and All hail the mighty Drop Bear
QUOTE (oceansoul @ Jun 30 2008, 08:05 PM)
I've read nothing on Dumpshock for the past two days but this thread. All I can say is please let the burning of my eyes stop now, oh and All hail the mighty Drop Bear
Two Days! TWO DAYS!!!??? Upon my return to the thread after my hiatus I made it my main goal to reread the entirety of the holy scriptures. 8 hours and a pint of blood from my eyes later I was finished. Two days is mediocre brother...go back and do it again and don't stop for the bleeding that ocurs. If you are worthy the holiness of the words will carry you through, if not then know that you are dying a much kinder death than the Inquisition would offer you.
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