314. I can not produce my own chicken cannon, even if I have the proper Build/Repair skills to do so.
314a. If I somehow acquire a chicken cannon, I can not use it to fire rubber chickens stuffed with C4 into downtown Tampa.
314b. The restriction applies to all major cities.
314c. Replacing the rubber chicken with any other object stuffed with C4 is also disallowed.

315 I am no longer allowed to cast any mind altering spell on another PC

316. I am not allowed to have teddy bear vessels for malignant and grouchy Kami spirits wearing Fritz helmets leap head-first off the top of bookcases at the party yelling "Banzai!" impaling the characters with the spike.

317. I am not allowed to have a character who carries a Jibber-Jabber around and claims it is their prophet, in the name of their god Vaklam.
317a. Really.
317b. Seriously.
317c. I'm not kidding.

(Vaklam backwards is what? *grin*) *EDITED SPELLING ON THIS LINE - GRUMBLE*

318. I am no longer allowed to play a rigger
318a. If I somehow find myself playing a rigger, he can not be named 'Toy Maker'
318b. Even if he is not named 'Toy Maker', he can not be modeled after 'Toy Maker' from 'The Dark Knight' animated series
318c. He especially can not have a 6 in Demolitions
318d. If I somehow play a rigger with a high Demolitions, dressing a 'Bust a move' teddy bear in an SS uniform, stuffing it with C4, and having it goose step up to a target is not allowed
318e. They especially can not play the Nazi anthem or use any Nazi phrases
318f. I am not allowed to install all the vehicle mods in a model car
318g. Even if it is a nitro car that runs on gas (they already hit 60+ mph for crying out loud!)
318h. I am not allowed to pack 5lbs of C4 into a nitro car, no matter how much I modify it
318i. I am not allowed to model a Bust a Move as a chicken and make it run around laying 'eggs' (IE pimped grenades that look like eggs)
318j. The easter bunny is not an acceptable replacement for a chicken
318k. I can not mod Bust a Moves till they replicate all the dolls in 'Puppet Master', no matter how cool an idea it is
318l. Warhammer 40k armies are also not allowed
318m. That applies to Warhammer armies as well

I could go on a long time here...

319. I am not allowed to have a stuffed c'thulu toy and stuff the guts of a "Tickle Me Cookie Monster" into the head so that the tentacles flop around while it makes a deep laughing sound.
319a. I am especially not allowed to give one of them to a young child.

319b. I am not allowed to give said doll a voice that asks if they will "sell their soul for a cookie".

320. I am not allowed to play "Freak the Mundanes" in-game; it is (sadly) no more apropriate in the 6^th World than the real world.

321. I am not allowed to have a watcher spirit sit outside a society dame's afternoon tea and make rude noises.
321a. I am not allowed to have a watcher spirit teach toddlers and small children new and colorful metaphors.
321b. I am not allowed to have a watcher spirit float behind a Lone Star beat officer repeating jokes about port products.
321c. I am not allowed to have a watcher spirit float behind a Lone Star beat officer making squeaky shoe noises.
321c. I am not allowed to have a watcher spirit float behind a Lone Star beat officer making donut jokes.

322. The reasoning "It was fun in the Genesis version!" is not an ample reason to raid Renraku.
322a. Nor Lone Star
323. I am no longer allowed to make sociopathic characters who do not speak the same language as the party.
324. I am no longer allowed to drive the rigger's car when I have no driving skill.
324a. Not allowed to drive the rigger's car when I ~do~ have driving skill.

325. I am not allowed to summon Watcher Spirits.

326 "I know the rules better than the devs" is not a valid justification for anything.
327 Even if it's true.
328 Especially if they've admitted it.
329 There are no immortal orks.
330 Even if there are pictures.

Maklav. Perhaps you meant Malkav.

331. I am not allowed to stand outside the ACHE yelling "LFG ACHE. 25 Heroic. Need Tanks and Healers" anymore.
332. I am not allowed to refer to a shadowrun as a "raid".
333. I am not allowed to ask if Mr. Johnson has a yellow exclamation ARO over his head.
333a. Nor am I allowed to ask if any other NPCs have them either.
334. Even if I paint my gun purple, it is still not Epic, nor does it do better damage.
335. Ditto for my armor. Nor does purple armor increase my attributes.

*grumbles and mouses over to the "edit" button*

336. Just because I've painted my gun blue doesn't mean people wearing black, red, orange, yellow or green armour aren't allowed to touch it.
337. No suit-wearing elf adept is allowed to get confused and call Mr Johnson "Mr Anderson".
337a. Especially not if I draw out the vowels.
338. My magician's Tradition maynot be "Cthulhu cultist."

339. The most tactically sound option is not always the option that causes the most damage to the most enemies.
339a. Especially when the said group of enemies is locked in melee combat with the street sammy.
339b. Especially when the tactical option you're considering is throwing a grenade in the melee because you think the sammy will survive.

339c. Especially if said grenade is likely to cause extensive structural damage and destroy the mission objective.

340. Explosives is not a suitable first response when my character is asked his opinion during planning.
340a. Especially if the mission is to obtain a target.
340b. Double if the target is a living creature.
340c. It's just a flat out wrong idea if the explosives in question are actually a nuclear device.

341. I am not allowed to breed Bust-A-Move Bears with rabbits to create biodrones.
341a. Even if it would be really cute.

340d. The same goes for THOR.

342 I am no longer allowed to create an AI character who thinks that it is Friend Computer and attempt to execute party members for treason.
343 I am not allowed to clone other party members so that I can execute them for having mutant powers.

344. I am no longer allowed to take city sewer layout as a knowledge skill, find my enemies home, place the explosives on a trigger attached to their sewer system, and laugh maniacally as the next time they take a crap their whole house explodes.
344b. Double if we were supposed to take them alive
344c. Triple if all it does is damage the sewer system and cause a literal shit storm that covers all my team mates. I'm fine though, I was smart enough to bring an umbrella.
345. I am no longer allowed to double cast orgy on a group of nuns and a group of priests while Mass is beginning.
346. I am no longer allowed to take the knowledge skills Early 20th century media storage and store all my important data on floppy disks. The look on the CorpSecs raid team when they found them was priceless, even more so when they didn't notice the drone behind them with a freeze foam thrower.
347. I am no longer allowed to raise an army of squirrel bio drones to bite off the nuts of my enemies.

348 I am no longer allowed to take the Knowledge skill "20th Century Role Playing Games" in an attempt to know the plot.

349. I am no longer allowed to forge IDs that say we are official booby inspectors, no matter how stupid that bimbo was.
350. I am no longer allowed to to make a gatling shotgun, gatling grenade launcher, or chicken gatling gun. Even if our team voted to keep all three of them.
351. I am no longer allowed to create a "gravity gun" using magic, publish how it's done, and then have my logic character buy a hazmat suit, get the grav gun, and go crazy chucking toilets at people.

352. I am not allowed to make a technomancer with the handle GLaDOS
352a. Nor am I allowed to summon sprites of her
352b. Or find her as a rogue AI

351b. Or saw blades, crates, corpses, or any other object.

351c. And I am never allowed to make him a blunt weapons adept with a crowbar as his weapon of choice.
352. I am no longer allowed to to make a christmas tree missile and launch at the target on christmas morning while she is opening presents with her family. Even if a mini santa on the missle goes say HO HO HO while flying.

353. I an not allow to say It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion,
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
The hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
any time

354: I am not allowed to use bouncy d6s, even as a GM.
355: I am not allowed to make a Hungarian-English Linguasoft based on the Dirty Hungarian Phrase book sketch.

356: I am not allowed to turn NPCs into biodrones so I can have sex with them.
357: This goes doubly for PCs.
358: I am not allowed to describe what I am doing, while masturbating at the table no matter how discreet I may be.

359. I am no longer allowed to distrust the GM. The GM is my friend. Distrusting the GM is treason. Treason is punishable by having my character sheet incinerated. I am no longer allowed to distrust the GM.

360. I am not allowed to lead the run. It draws fire.
360a. I am not allowed to bring up the rear during a run. It draws fire.
360b. I am no longer allowed on runs. It draws fire.

361. I´m no longer allowed to just shoot the main bad guy when he makes a classic evil speech as the GM workt so hard making that speech.
362. I´m no longer allowed to tie cute ribbons to the tip of a elven team members ear tips when asleep.
362b. especially if it is a male elf.

363. I am no longer allowed to interrupt Box Text.
363a. Even if my character sheet says I have that ability.
363b. Even if I have a special token that says I can.
363c. Even if I have recently bribed the GM with food or Holy Caffiene.

364. I am not the inventor of Arachno Spores, the deadly spores with the funny name.
365. Orks are not "usually Chaotic Evil".
366. No matter how many dice i have in Leadership, using Commanding Voice and shouting "Burn, you fuckers!" does not lead to spontaneous self combustion. This goes doubly for characters who are thinly veiled Preacher rip-offs.
367. My plan cannot revolve around a mutant juggernaut and the target company's bring a pet to work day, at least not two times in a row.

368) I'm not allowed to play an amnesic rigger who talks to his trusty black Westwind 3K.

369. Walking into a wall and peeing your pants in a den of junkies is not "acting casual."

370. It doesn't matter how bored you are while on surveillance duty; if the van is a-rockin', you're fired.

371. Nobody wants to hear about hobo sex.
371a. There is no Walk of Shame if you're spying from the alleyway that said hobo lives in.
371b. Painting "Walk of Shame" on the surveillance van's metal step is not an acceptable use of the team's resources.

372. Putting an eyepatch on an albino Barrens rat does not entitle me to claim that Danger Mouse is my sidekick.

373. Staged incontinence is not a Get Out Of Jail Free card.

374. Marketing "The ultimate in discreet feminine hygiene products" by combining cotton and mono wire is not an acceptable sales pitch, and will not get me in to see the boss man. This plan should be scrapped.
374a. Even if MacGuyver would have dreamed about such a fabulous merging of first aid, weaponry, and stealthy femme technology.
374b. MacGuyver's ghost will not directly cause anyone to rue anything, most especially days in which N/PCs made business decisions that I deemed "poor" at the time.
374c. Said ghost of MacGuyver is not right behind you. Nor is a three-headed monkey, a vermicious knid, Reptar, Trogdor, The Bushwackers, the world's largest ball of chewing gum, or anyone's momma.
374d. I shouldn't play with mono wire that doesn't belong to me.

375. I cannot have ChooChooBear as a sidekick. Even if I visit Glow City with a can of pink spray paint and a dream that won't be denied.

(edited to correct numbers)

376. saying it´s Halloween is not a excuse to claim that the full combat armour I´m wearing "will be mistaken for a costume"

Ok, how the hell nobody said this one already?

377: I may not quote Monty Python in ANYWAY whatsoever during the game.
378: And if I do, I may nont complain if a preces shows up and beheads my character and it disappears just after.

379. I may not buy a math SPU for the purposes of calculating the average velocity of a swallow carrying a coconut. African or European.

379 Or, really, any TV show, movie, stage play, cartoon, anime, radio broadcast, or Terry Pratchett.

380. People quite frequently do expect the Spanish Inquisition.

Addendum:
212b. The psychotic doctor from 209 is never allowed to be the same character as the seductress from 211.

381. I am not allowed to play a rigger to create a "Cylon Army".

382. I am not allowed to initiate a global thermonuclear war to wipe out all but about 50,000 human survivors to initiate a trek across space to find a new home world.

383. In the event that the GM should cause a global thermonuclear war that wipes out all but the 50,000 human survivors in space, I am not allowed to call my character Apollo, Starbuck, or any other allusion to any other character from Battlestar Galactica.

384. I am no longer allowed to attempt to recreate the movie 'Wargames' in order to cause rule 382 to be violated.
384a. Should I attempt to recreate 'Wargames' the GM will only provide me with games to play other than 'Thermonuclear War'.
384b. The GM will only allow me to play Chess, which will lead to a real game of Chess. If the GM beats me in Chess, then I suffer significant bio-feedback damage.

385. Retired 5-star General is not a suitable background story for a ShadowRunner.
385a. Even if the country he was a General for no longer exists.

386. I am no longer allowed to always keep a bad date on my character in case I encounter an annoying monkey. The GM didn't like it when I killed his spy.

387. I am not allowed to sit in a room whittling small wooden gnomes when the protagonist is plotting to kill us in his underwater lair... even if it does seem like a good idea at the time.
388. playing with frag grenades in a small concrete room is never a good idea... even if the johnson dares you to do so...

389. The phrase "It's a Johnson" does not carry the same connotations of gut-wrenching terror as in Discworld.
390. I am not to refer to a "Bloody Stupid" Johnson, even if they aren't very good at their job.

391. I need to be wearing my goggles on my face in order to get the vision enhancements.

392. I am not allowed to base AIs on Friend Computer or SHODAN
393. Anything resembling The Many is not allowed
394. I am not allowed to TPK, even if they deserve it
395. I am not allowed to give each member of the party conflicting objectives
395a. Especially if said objectives will lead to the party killing themselves off
295b. Even if it is what Mr. Johnson would have done in character
396. I am not allowed to skip the BBG speech this ALWAYS leads to a violation of rule 394

397. Just because the rules say I can make a FA Thunderstruck Gauss Rifle doesn't mean that I should. damage 18p, AP -half -4 is too much.
397a. No, the fact that a main battle tank has a bigger gun is not an excuse for me to make the above abomination.
397b. If I somehow get hold of a tank, I can not make it's main cannon into an FA weapon.
397c. If I somehow violate 397-397b, then the GM will start equipping the opposition with them too.

395C. For reference, see rule 225 regarding ambushes.

See Rule 342