Someone needs to go play Dogs in the Vineyard. You can totally escalate from shooting to talking.

I think I'm a fan of that party...

I salute your furies reference and now feel the need to make a furycrafter of my own damm you sir


And for the other side I would put forward swordplay is a form of seduction as in the real world I won over my GF with my display when she came to our practise one night (ok there was more to it then that but it helped)

3048a: Wordplay is acceptable as a form of seduction. It -is- not an acceptable form of combat

unless using the pirate house rules


monkey island for the win.

Again, you need to play Dogs in the Vineyard.

Or read the guards series of disk world novels...

One word on the subject of wordplay being an acceptable form of combat: Pornomancer. Clearly you've never seen a rather creative one.

Also...
3051: My mage's staff is never "his junk," despite the origin of the symbology
3052: Go-Gangers do not play card games on bikes. They tend to resolve their issues more violently. Like with guns
3053: A key part of the plan should never be, "First, we get the guards -really- drunk"
3054: Do not call the awakened orangutan weapons specialist an ape to his face constantly. He is not garunteed to be a fan of Heinlien
3054a: Nor should I call him a monkey. It is very likely he would take after the Librarian
3055: The awakened orangutan is forever closed to me.
3055a: If I do make an awakened orangutan, they are no longer allowed to be the subject of a polymorph-style effect, nor are they allowed to be a mage slash librarian
3055b: If I do make them a mage slash librarian subject to a polymorph-style effect, they will say more than "ook" despite the fact that this one word has endless meaning
3056: Monofilament whips are not capable of being used for swings over chasms using a convenient branch
3057: No more headshots with laser pistols from over a mile away
3057a: No more headshots with pistol class weapons from over a mile away period
3057b: No more trying to break this rule by researching plasma weapons
3058: The four horsemen are -not- acceptable mentor spirits
3059: Other runners are not acceptable magical familiar
3060: No more using Moriarty as inspiration for a runner
3061: Mages do not memorize their powers from cards
3062: Government agents are not good runners
3062a: Nor do they make good loyalty 6 contacts. The shit runners do would likely get them fired in short order
3063: Devil rats are not evidence that Clan Moulder exists in the Shadowrun universe
3064: Nezumi are not immune to tainting magics
3065: Mysterious chanting in dead languages at the table is a no-no. This is doubly true if you aren't the mage. Saying prayers related to a given religion in dead languages is acceptable if your character is of that religion
3065a: If I abuse the prayer related exception, I shall expect the swift retrieval of the hammer of justice by the rest of the gaming group, and I shall not object when they bop me over the head with it
3066: Legos are not a good building material for budget golems
3066a: If I do use legos as budget golem materials, I am not allowed to use them to fight out epic battles on a small scale using BrikWars as inspiration. This is because BrikWars almost always ends in a thermonuclear fireball
3067: If I make every run end up being a hooding run, I am not to be surprised when the rest of the group starts vetoing my ideas when the pay starts drying up
3068: I am no longer allowed to use real life knowledge of forensics in an investigative game to solve the GM's fiendishly clever murder mystery run in the time it would take my character to run a few key tests
3068a: The butler never did it
3068b: A wizard never did it
3068c: The stereotype -never- did it
3069: My mage is no longer allowed to try and summon God or any other diety to prove or disprove their existence. Instead, I should have the mage shut up, watch Babylon 5, and learn that "Faith manages"
3070: No more using spirits to create shapeshifting weapons
3071: While there are machine spirits, my character may not start a cult that bases all technological maintenance on appeasing the machine spirits by following rote formulas that just happen to be the proper maintenance procedures
3071a: Nor am I allowed to require membership in this cult to require characters to start losing limbs and replacing them with augmetics to achieve greater enlightenment
3071b: This cult is no longer allowed to follow the Omnissiah
3072: Bioware, gyrojet weapons firing high-explosive rounds, power armor, and fanatical devotion to something called "the God Emperor" are never to be combined in the same character...again

Deathwatch. Where all of your fanatical theocratic superman fantasies can live.

Somehow I don't think you know about this Superman.
Truely a man of steel.

odd. that sounds more like space marines to me, not superman. not sure where you got superman from that...

My guess is "superman" as in "übermensch" rather than as a specific, copyright protected fictional character.

Get behind me, Doctor!*


*Which is actually kind of funny, because it's tactically better if the medic is in front of the heavy.

3073: I am not allowed to use Physical Mask to modify the gunbunny's gender without his permission.
3073b: This also applies to Trid Phantasm, or any other spell that could possibly do that.
3074: I cannot use Trid Phantasm to replicate Old Spice commercials.
3075: I cannot base my tradition off of the Legend of Zelda.
3075b: If a player does base his tradition off of Zelda, the GM is forbidden from making his Mentor Spirit Navi.
3076: If you cast Increase Anything on a Target, the Starman theme does not start playing. Even if your tradition is Nintendo inspired...

3074a. I am not allowed to find the 280-some YouTube-response Old Spice commercials and play them during games.

Edit:
It's only 180, apparently.
Interesting note: each one only had one take, and on average took 7 minutes to produce.

3077: Here are a list of magical traditions that are not acceptable for any Mage:

• The Internet Meme Tradition
• The Hogwarts Tradition
• The Troper Tradition
• The Persona Tradition (After an unfortunate incident in which the mystic's focus was replaced with an actual gun)
• The Pokemon Tradition. (I Summon You, Charizard!)

3078: I have never tripped over The Johnson's dongs. Even if he did leave Vietnamese currency all over the floor.

Explanation required?

3078a: I am not allowed to run with the joke and create "The Johnson", a porn star who then hires the team to recover all the dongs after his personal currency collection was raided by thieves.

Ha! I get it.

3079- When describing that Orthoskin is actually a modified ballistic mesh, under the skin, weave, we are not allowed to call the reciever of said Orthoskin "Shaniqua".

Gotta catch 'em all!

...

3080: I am not allowed to design a run where the players must recover the Johnson's exotic menagerie of genecrafted animals.
3080a: The Johnson is, under no circumstances, allowed to be "The Johnson."
3080b: In the case that 3080a is ignored, I am not allowed to say that the Johnson knew it was taken after one of the thieves was knocked out by the dongs.

Ever play Persona 3?

They cast spells by shooting themselves in the head.

Ah, and no I haven't.
Been playing Pathologic recently.

3081: Street children are not allowed to "Play Epidemic" and then inject each other with whatever substances they can find to see "what works" and the kids that stop moving ("why do they stop moving?") lose the game.

Just found something to stamp this thread with:
[img]http://hackedirl.files.wordpress.com/2010/12/2pmu1.jpg[/img]

3081b: The one kid hiding on the fire escape is allowed to call himself 'Zimbabwe'MADAGASCAR and can shut down everything at the slightest sign of trouble.

Obligatory Anime Cutscene Time

The joke was that someone of the Persona tradition would have a focus in the shape of a pistol, and a geas to shoot themselves in the head with it every time they cast a spell or summoned a spirit. If someone replaced the focus with a -real- gun...

3082: Never make an entry on this list that needs explanation...

Madagascar!

SON OF A B-I can't believe I forgot that.

Amending, because I am a damned fool.

*pats* It's okay. We still love you.

Well that depends on the thread I'm commenting on.

3082. Just because I grew up in Redmond, doesn't mean I can extrapolate a successful life for myself and make myself my character's rich ancestor.

3083 : I am forbidden from ever having a character improvise anything in game.
3083A: even if I can prove it works in rl.
3083B: especially if it's anything that is dangerous to property or lives.

3084: I am forbidden from driving anything that could've come from There, I Fixed It.
3085: I may not mount a tank cannon on a vehicle and use the recoil to help propel it.

3086: Driving an 18 Wheeler in reverse will not allow me to exceed the speed of light.
ZOOOOM
3087: NO TROLL SCIENCE! Even if you can get it to work with magic.

I spent all afternoon on ThatWillBuffOut.

3073c: Said gunbunny is not allowed to then hit on the one who cast Physical Mask for revenge.

3073d: Making out with the gunbunny is forbidden under any circumstances, even if he makes a smoking hot babe.

3088: My Ork is not allowed to think WAAAGH means anything. And even if it does, he may not shout it every time he gets into a fight.

3089: I may not take an allergy to unsprung traps.

3089a: I may never take an allergy to any intangible thing, such as bullshit, smugness, danger, concealed weapons, hero traps, Mary-Sues, irony, Wi-Fi, logic, etc.

I'm actually kicking around the concept for a Waaaagh Boss - a cybered out ork. Gotsta have a Big Jaw and More Dakka!

3090: "PC" is not an acceptable limitation for Slay.
3090a: Especially not if you're a PC.

3088a: My Ork hacker is not allowed to have his Avatar be a screaming speach bubble reading "WAAAAAAGH!"
3088b: My Ork is not allowed to command the gunbunny "More Dakka, three o'clock"
3088c: My Ork may not paint the Rigger's Van Red or Blue without his expressed permission.

3088d: Purple, however, is totally acceptable.

3088e: The player of the Ork character is not allowed to insist they get the red dice because "RED'UNZ GO FASTA!!!"

My wife applies this logic to her shoes in RL.

3089: I may not attempt to replicate my D&D business of selling "vintage" sewer rat meat and beer brewn with holy water.
3089a: Especially not as a run plan against a group of vampires.
3090: I may no longer enter any scene with the words "Hi, I bring the pizza you ordered."
3090a: A pizza box is not an acceptable item in my PC's possession, nor worthy a distinct style flaw. Even if I have a lifestyle flaw that makes everyone confuse my phone number with the pizza service.
3090b: I may not introduce myself towards my Mr Johnson with the words "Hi, I bring the pizza you ordered."
3090c: Speaking the words "Hi, I bring the pizza you ordered." does not count as a valid plan A. Nor should I attempt to build my entire legwork on top of that.
3090d: "Hi, I bring the pizza you ordered." is not a good thing to say when stepping outside a secret tunnel to an ocean-ground research facility.
3090e: There is neither an anchored spell nor spirit in my pizza box, nor can I properly seal neuro-toxic gas or any other sufficient weapon into a pizza box.
3090f: I may never bring up pizza again, unless it involves buying one for my GM.
3091: Aang is not an appropriate name for a technomancer, and bending isn't a valid stream.
3091a: I may not refer to my spirits as Kataara, Toph, or any other character from the avatar - the last airbender series, no matter how much I hate the movie adaption.
3092: When playing the hacker, I may not shutdown the sam by disabling his cyberware, lock the mage in an elevator, or do the 'epic fight' that the GM has been planning for alone and solely based on talent soft. Especially as a combination of the three.
3093: Spoofing a life-style can NOT be used to force my teammates to live on the street.

3094: I may not use my nanotatts for ventriloquism acts.

3095: My characters can not get superpowers from the South Park coon episodes on the claim that they're not actual superpowers.
3095a: Especially not an immortality superpower that puts me in my bed the next morning after I die.
3095b: When denied the right to play Kenny, the one and only thing left for me to do is NOT to make a magician with forensics skills named Captain Hindsight.
3096: Coulda, Shoulda and Woulda are not acceptable names for spirits.

You got the AIPS.