143. "Team member" is not an appropriate restriction for the Slay spell.
144. Even if i buy him as a Loyalty6 contact, Lofwyr and my character are not joined at the hips since birth.

145. Great Dragons are not acceptable starting contacts.
146. I am not allowed to take a dragon, who lives on a private island outside of Miami, as a ally or enemy.
147. I am not allowed to abuse the fact my GM doesn't know the Matrix rules. (Original or Unwired.)
148. I cannot play a Troll, who is a Catholic Priest, and refer to everyone as "Little Brother" (or my child).
149. Mr. Universe is not an acceptable contact. (Reference: Rules 136-139)

150 No longer allowed to twink my character to have more dice at dodging sniper shots I am not aware of than the sniper has dice to hit me.

151 Not allowed to have the Shadowland BBS as a group contact.

152 Or it's Matrix 2.0 equivalent (sorry, forgot the name)

153 No longer allowed to play any incarnation of "Bubblegum." Especially if I have plans to turn her into a cyberzombie.

154 No, I am not allowed to put hydraulic jacks on that.

155 The names Neo, Morpheus, and Trinity or any varation of the following shall ever be used as a character name.
156 "Name Pending" shall not be used as a character name.
157 I am no longer alowed to use the phrase "I wana Cast a spell..." followed by "I cast Flair" no matter how few of the players know of unforgotten realms.
158 No character shall ever been named "Sir Schmupy of Awsometon", again.
159 Technomancers, AIs or hackers cannot have any refrences to "Alice In wonderland".
160 Epeshaly if I've been playing resedent evil within the past 24 hours.
161 I am no longer alowed to shoot the first johnson of the campagin in the first encounter just to piss of the GM.

162 I cannot have splintercell goggles
163 I am not allowed to come to a session if I show any signs of watching Oceans Eleven or The Matrix within a 24 hour period.

164. I am no longer allowed to incite riots when I sense railroading.
165. I am no longer allowed to pull off a Halloweener's arm, ask him nicely to hand me his knife and then reattach the arm with said knife in a "pin the tail on the donkey" fashion.
166. No one is allowed to play a cat girl, ever.

166a. It doesn't matter how much catgirl anime you've seen.
166b. It doesn't matter if your significant-other is FINALLY willing to play SR.
166c. No, I said it doesn't matter.
166d. It doesn't matter how much you beg, cry, pout, nor throw a tantrum.
166e. NO BRIBE is THAT good enough.
166f. Re-read #166a-e.
166g. Re-read it again.
166h. Memorise it. Or I'll have it stapled to your forhead.

167. No you may not be a Blood Mage.

168. If you are a Blood Mage you may not summon Blood Spirits using the original rules.

169. If you do use the original rules you may not command them to eat the entire world.

170. I will not screw the johnson and the triad by releasing a captive naga cause said naga "Was cute and had babies!"
171. I will not buy stolen spell chips,knowing they originally belonged to the psycotic troll with vindicator.(TPK)
172. I will not push a fellow player out of his "Comfort Zone" just cause he is playing a female character.( who'd a think someone playing an elf chica would be so homophobic?)

173. I will not help the rigger make a "monkey van", no matter how much get begs.
174. I will not help the...player who dies in every game, to make a new character that's more annoying that any of his previous characters.
175. No, the pixie character and the troll character can't be married in game even if they are in real life.
176. I'm not allowed to show the character in 174 the rules for drugs.
177. I am not allowed to show the rigger in 173 my arsenal book again, or else there will be monkey vans in the game.

That's all I can think of for right now

RebekahWSD

178. The cake is a lie.

179. I may not take cats from NPCs, even if they do have like 50 of them.
180. I am not allowed to stuff the team's street samurai into the storage space under the bed when he becomes difficult to work with.

181. No building the Dreadhog. (A Hog with two sidecars, a speed boost, mounted guns on each sidecar, and a Main Gun on the Hog itself.)
182. I am not allowed to let Teddy talk to anyone not on the team or attend meetings with Johnsons.
183. I am not allowed to save the life of the character who is dying for Plot reasons.
184. I am not allowed to call dibs on the stuff of a character who has died for plot reasons.
185. We are not allowed to argue with GM fiat. Exceptions may be made when the player is actually correct.
186. My character's street name may not in any way be devised from my character's real name.

187. My anarchopunk character is not allowed to end all the games with a full scale riot.
187a. ...Or to change every run objective to 'stick it to the man, start a riot and destroy society'
187b. My anarchopunk character doesn't care about your rules.

188. i am not allowed to play a shapeshifter anymore
189. i am also not allowed to make this shapeshifter a rating 15 initiate
190. i am seriously not allowed to laugh at harlequin because of his ridicuously low initiation-rating depending on the massive amount of time he already had to excel.
191. i am not allowed to throw orc-children in the rotor-blades of helicopters to prevent them from following/chasing our team
192. i am not allowed to cast area-effect-elemental-combatspells with a magic rating of 23 when my friends are close
193. i am not allowed to bring down whole megacons with my runs and earn billions of nuyen with it
194. i am even more seriously not allowed to pull up with a Rolly Royce Phaeton at run meetings...with a chaufeur
195. i am not allowed to buy every bar/nightclub/restaurant/fast-food-restaurant my collegues like
196. i am not allowed to marry a free air elemental rating 8...again

Fixed that muss up with point 80 - my bad, must have been a crosspost or catastophic maths glitch.

197. I may not ask if the 'seal of evil' is balancing a ball (of evil) on it's (evil) nose.

198. I am not allowed to act on the fact my runner can make more money committing petty crimes than as a Shadowrunner.
199. I am not allowed to play the stock market, using insider knowledge from my runs.
199a. I am not allowed to buy a corporation with the stock market earnings.
199b. I am not allowed to rinse and repeat, until I either buy a AA, or build my corporation into one.
199c. I am not allowed to then make a bid for AAA status.
200. I am not allowed to shoot at Great Dragons with weapons which will insta-kill them.
201. Vindicare Assassin outfits are not subtle.

(178a. The cake is not a lie.)

202. 'I can't see through walls' is not an acceptable excuse for the sniper shooting his teammates.
203. No matter how much I may want to believe, reconstructing the Death Star trench run in Seattle is not a good idea.
203a. Especially if my character has acquired a nuclear device or an excessive amount of high yield explosives.
204. My character is never allowed to come in contact with a thermonuclear device.
204a. This goes double if my character is likely to violate rule 203.
205. I'm not allowed to suggest that we buy a program the team's hacker will take over a month to code by hand, even if buying it is more cost effective than going without the benefit, unless my character would know the hacker is working on it or would have reason to suggest we acquire it.
205a. I'm not allowed to shoot the aforementioned hacker 'for poops and giggles' because of the aforementioned program.
205b. I'm most certainly not allowed to 'break' his rig because of the aforementioned program.
206. I'm not allowed to try to set off implanted bombs that PCs may or may not have.
207. I will not suggest courses of action for other PCs, even if I think that PC should have thought of it, unless it threatens my character. The comedy that ensues from the failure will be of great humor for everyone but the player that didn't think.
208. No, my epic level gnome illusionist from Dungeons and Dragons who has mastered the Shadow Plane and using to to traverse the multiverse to visit multiple different material planes cannot mysteriously pop up in ShadowRun with the excuse that Earth is just another material plane accessible via the Shadow Plane.
208a. Even if that gnome did manage to reach earth, I am not allowed to take him as a Loyalty 6 contact.
208b. No attempting to convert the gnome from D&D to ShadowRun 'Just cause I can'.
209. I'm not allowed to play a doctor who has an unusually high demolitions skill and a psychosis negative quality, just so I have justifiable reasons to implant bombs into my teammates.
209a. I'm not allowed to plant bombs in terminally ill teammates to use as distraction for the getaway.
210. I'm not allowed to play any character that makes the big bad evil guy blush.
211. I'm not allowed to play a character with a high seduction skill just to get the big bad evil guy laid.
211a. Contrary to popular belief, big bad evil guys are not ALL evil because they didn't get laid.
212. The psychotic doctor from 209 is never allowed to be on the same team as the seductress from 211.
212a. In the event that rule 211 is violated, the psychotic doctor is not allowed to implant a bomb in the seductress to use her in a pinch to kill someone she is trying to seduce.

213. No more melting teammates brains.
213a. Seriously. Stop melting their brains.

You do it one or two times and all of a sudden you become "that guy"

Edit: You sneaked in more and made me have to edit mine!

Kamasutra is not an appropriate unarmed combat specialization.
Especially if I'm playing a troll.
"Fuck it I shoot him in the face" is not an acceptable answer to any kind of socail situation.
In 4th ed it's "Fuck it I make a called shot to his face, take an aim action, and use edge"
It's still not appropiate however
I am not allowed to dress the dwarf in a tiny sailor suit.
I am not allowed to make every drone I come across play "Iron Man" or "Flight of the Valkyries"
I am not allowed to base a character off anything I've seen in an anime.
Especailly if the anime involved tentacles.
I am no longer allowed to take anyone with chemistry or demolitions skills as contacts.
Prank calling Lone Star or Knight Errant is inappropiate while
I'm on a run
I'm in the teams hq
I'm with anyone on the team
I'm not allowed to go to a Stuffer Shack or McHughs and start a food fight.

Number's are for the weak

222. No matter what rule system we are using, I am never allowed to roll more dice than can fit on the gaming table at one time.

Edited for right number number.

223. I may not play an Immortal Elf.
224. No character may be described as "Basically that guy from Die Hard."
224a. No character may be described as "Basically that guy from Total Recall."
224b. No character may be decribed as... sod it, "Basically anyone at all."
224c. Not even if the character, through no fault of my own and entirely independently of any films, ends up effectively being Agent Elrond.

Ard3: You were 222, I think.

225. As a GM, I am not allowed to ambush the PCs. This will be a TPK.
226. As a GM no more runs involving penguin poo. Once was enough.
227. As a GM no more runs involving chicken noodle soup recipes written in code that takes the Atlantian foundation months to decifer.
227b. The Atlantian foundation may not ambush the PCs. (See rule 221) They may however be a spoiler for an ambush to prevent players from being in a TPK.

228. I may play an Adept with high Blades skill (Katana specialisation) and high First Aid and Medicine. He may not be named Doctor McNinja.
229. If I am stealing moves and tricks from Doctor McNinja, I must describe them satisfactorily without reference to said webcomic.
230. When GMing, I should refrain from lifting plots directly from:
230a. The aforementioned Doctor McNinja.
230b. The Matrix.
230c. Any Warhammer 40K novel, codex, rulebook or published Dark heresy adventure.
230d. Any other webcomic, including those involving Shadowrun games.
230e. HP Lovecraft.
231. PCs do not have a SAN statistic.
231a. Nor do players.

232. There is no such thing as a chocobo cyberzombie. This goes doubly for homebrewed Mentor Spirits.
233. I am no longer allowed to specialize Heavy Weapons in Megatron.
234. I am retroactively forbidden from taking Martial Arts (Rollerdisco).

233a. I am no longer allowed to specialise Pilot: Anthroform in Megatron.

235. Lofwyr is not an appropriate Prime Runner for a starting campaign.

236. Jello shots are not a new type of ammunition.
237. My character cannot break the 4th wall.
238. Sniffles are not a sympton of HMVV.

239. Any gun that can fire more rounds in one combat turn than I can physically carry is vetoed.
240. "Spell range: touch" is not an excuse to slap the target across the face.
240a. Including the spell Awaken. Its funny only once.

241. I am no longer to make characters based on Vash the Stampede no matter how good he is with a gun. The GM gets too many headaches with my constant attempts to cause the situation to turn into an accidental disaster.
242. I am not allowed to play a male character who has a full body cyberization in the form of a female then try to seduce the other male PCs.
242a. I am not allowed to seduce the female PCs either.
242b. I am not allowed to seduce NPCs.
242c. I most certainly cannot attempt to seduce my PC.
243. I can no longer state that I am using generic circular logic to attempt to fool a machine without using an actual circular logic example to show the GM.
243a. I cannot use the same circular logic over and over once I discover one that the GM allows.

244. This may be madness; it is not, however, SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
245. "Early 21st-century Internet memes" is not an appropriate Knowledge skill.
245a. Not even if I obviously have 6 ranks in it OOC.
246. In future, "No. Just no." should not be interpreted as a double-negative, thereby allowing me to do whatever freakishly disturbing act spawned of insanity I was requesting.

247. I may not use the rules for clustering and Tac-Net to use enough microdrones to give myself a bonus to combat so large it makes the Street Sam weep.
248. Especially if I have the Pacifist Negative Quality.
249. Summoning a spirit that looks like Captain Planet does not make the Toxic Shaman automatically run in fear, swearing revenge.
250. My Technomancer can not make every commlink on the planet ring at the same time. Again.
251. I am not allowed to call the Renraku Arcology the Tomb of Horrors.
252. Not even if I take the time to make one of the floors accurate to the original adventure.
253. My team members all have commlinks with sufficient Signal. I should stop asking them "Can you hear me now?" every two meters in open ground.
254. My team members commlinks are for their use only.
255. Even if I am the Hacker.
256. Even if having all the commlink speakers playing "Best of Queen" at max volume confused the Security Guards.
257. No longer allowed to sing Queen songs at the table.

258. I am not allowed to take Knowledge (Late 20th/Early 21st century film) so I can endlessly quote movie lines in-character.
259. I am not allowed to endlessly quote movie lines out-of-character, either.

260. When our group is playing Shadowrun, D&D, Star Wars, and Tales from the FLoating Vagabond, we are not allowed to planeshift into our other games and gather up all our PCs together for one "Epic DUngeon Crawl".
261. If we do manage this, we are not allowed to give our Shadowrun PCs Lightsabers, Blasters, Portal Holes, Wands of Magic Missile or Fireballs, Talking Swords, and Inflatable Love Pitbull Dolls are not allowed to be given to the Shadowrun Characters for when they return home.

(This happened in college, briefly. It was a bad plan )

262. I am not allowed to play the rave fight music from Blade on my laptop every time we go into a fight.
263. I am not allowed to play any fight music from The Matrix on my laptop every time we go into a fight.
264. I am not allowed to play any fight music from any movie on my laptop every time we go into a fight.

265. I am no longer allowed to design costumes for a run after having given the 5 runners a navy costume, indian costume, cowboy costume, construction worker costume, and biker costume.
265a. I am most certainly not allowed to use those costumes to attempt to run surveillance on a target.
265b. I am not allowed to lead the rest of the team to a gay bar to evade capture.
265c. I am no longer allowed to plan missions and escape routes after watching Wayne's World.

266. I am not allowed to create paradoxes via time traveling should I discover a method to travel back in time.
26a. I am no longer allowed to create paradoxes without time traveling. Once was more than enough.

267. I am no longer allowed to run an adventure where I recruit the players to steal from Lofwyr.
267a. Especially if the Mr. Johnson consists of 12 dwarves and a human hermit mage.

268. Despite the fact that the cosmology of Warcraft obviously includes multiple planets, I am not allowed to rationalize that warlocks opened a portal from Azeroth to Earth to allow myself to play Thrall, Tyrande, Jaina, or any other major Warcraft character.
268a. In the event of Azeroth warlocks opening portals to Earth, I am not to claim that Lofwyr is Deathwing, and Dunklezahn was Alexstraza.
268b. Likewise, I am not to rationalize that the awakening was warlocks on Azeroth opening portals to Earth.

269. The Zerg and Protoss do not exist in the same universe as Earth, even though Terrans came from Earth and the Zerg and Protoss have been around for far longer than the time difference between 2070 and then.
269a. Since the zerg do not exist, I am not allowed to say my character is the Queen of Blades or any other similar character that would have massive psionic power and the ability to control Zerg. This is not due to the zerg existing as much as how unbalanced such a character would be.

270. I am no longer allowed to use a stack of my hardcovers of four separate editions of core rulebook to smack a n00b player upside the head for saying "The mage with the shotgun looks hot, but why is the elf hacker going to stab that terminal with his cyberspurs?" -- from now on, the stack is required to be a minimum of 5 hardcovers thick, to include SR4A.

I've always wondered that myself. Iirc the cord is in his other hand. Did Dodger even have cyberspurs?

271. I'm not allowed to ponder the above.
272. Zap Branigan is not my old school chum.
273. I am not allowed to have a character with the word death as any part of their name.
274. I am not allowed to make prayer reciting snipers.
274b. Or gunbunnies.

PROGRAM CARRIERS !
Seriously, what do they teach you people in (shadow)school nowadays? x.x

275. I am NOT allowed to play Indiana Jones in Shadowrun.

178b. Of course the Cake is a lie. That's what they WANT you to believe.
178c. There are, however, cookies.
178d. No, you can only have one.
178e. No, it isn't any kind you like.
178f. No, you can't have it now, you'll spoil your dinner.

179 No, I may not play the re-awakened AI that was Captain Chaos.

180 No, I may not play a time traveling velociraptor, even if the Rifts book says its ok.

181: As a GM I am no longer allowed to have Dr. Who crossover adventures.
181a: Nor am I allowed to have Stargate SG-1 crossovers.
182: The UFO photos in Dunklezahn's will are not sufficient justification for brining in X-Com as an organization.
183: I am not allowed to anchor nova spells to bullets when going up against vampires.
184: I am not allowed to learn anchring anymore.
185: I am not allowed to take the "Fun with monowire" knowledge skill anymore.
186: I am not allowed to gold plate my Renraku Manservant drone.
187: If I get an idea that makes me giggle I am probably not allowed to do it.
188: I am to stop using Kim Possible as inspiration for grapple gun maneuvers.
189: If I create a gunslinger I am not allowed to call him McGraw.
189a: Or "The Waco Kid."
189b: Or Texas Red.
190: I am not allowed to listen to Marty Robbins while creating characters.
191: If I am inspired at all while watching The A-Team I am not allowed to do it.
192: Awesomness is not a valid reason for attempting ridiculously difficult actions.
193: If I intentionally make my characters actions more difficult to increase coolness, I may be subject to physical blows from my party members.

Wow. YOu guys fail badly at numbering



300. I am not allowed to play music from Final Fantasy when I win a fight.

Bookwyrm was responding to the cake is a lie rule, and I think people got messed up by that.

300a. I am not allowed to play music from Final Fantasy while I fight.

301. I am NOT allowed to declare that MORTAL KOMBAT haas begun!
301a. I am NOT allowed to QUOTE Mortal Kombat!
301b. I am NOT allowed to play MUSIC from Mortal Kombat!
301c. I am NOT allowed to Play CHARACTERS from Mortal Kombat!

That is a plenty sufficient reason!

300b. Especially if said music is by The Black Mages
---
302. Not allowed to start an all mage band using the name from 300b.

302. Ditto for Street Fighter characters.
302a. Especially Street Fighter: The Movie
302b. And even more especially STreet Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li
303. I am not allowed to make characters based off GI Joe.
303a. Unless Bull is my GM. But then we'll be facing off against COBRA.
304. I am not allowed to make large scale anthro-form drones that I can ride in.
305. I am especially not allowed to call them Battlemechs.
305a. Unless Caine Hazen is my GM. But then we'll be facing off against Clan Jade Falcon.

1) I am not allowed to get more than one penile implant,
1b) and it has to be located at the anatomically correct position,
1c) or at least on a covered area.

307. I am not allowed to write FREE CANDY on our GMC Bulldog
308. I am not allowed a wizard robe and hat
309. I am not allowed near any type of chemical manufacturing facility
310. I am not allowed a Barret sniper rifle ever again

311. I am NOT allowed to have FUN WITH MODULAR CYBER-STUFF as a Hobby on a Character Sheet. Especially if anything can be made into a modular plug.

312 I am not allowed to use the "bulky" cyberlimb modifier on penile implants.
313 Especially not for the express purpose of implanting a jackhammer