1056: We are not allowed to make a team based on Totally Spies.
1056a: Or Powerpuff Girls.
1056b: ESPECIALLY if all players are male.

(Actually, I forbid it to my players... but it still counts.)

1056c. Or Sailor Moon

1057. Bear traps are not throwing weapons.
1057a. Especially because I don't have any throwing weapon skills.

1058. The Blades skill is not a social skill, and may not be used as such for any reason.
1058a. Especially seduction.

1059. While the hydraulic jack system (rating 6) does increase my jumping capacity, I am not to yell "Go-Go Gadget Legs" every time I use them.
1059a. Nor when, via GM fiat, kicking people across crowded places with a pin-ball like effect... It was only funny the first time...

1060. I am not to pilot boats, for fear that they will end up landing on top of small import cars, like the last time I tried.
1060a. Same goes for anything that flies.

1061. I am not to abandon the dwarf rigger simply because he took incompetency in the Running skill...
1061a. ...even though he deserves it for taking incompetency in the Running skill...
1061b. ...and I may not throw him without his permission just to speed things up.

1062. I am not to act surprised when the BBEG I captured and turned over to the proper authorities escapes and captures my team and I within two hours.

1063 When negotiating with S-K to remove the sizable bounty from my teams' heads, and to allow us to work for them again as a corporate sponsored shadowrun team, one of my conditions may not be "Lofwyr must owe me a favor to be named at a future time."

I am toying with which is more fun.

Heads male?
Tails female?



BTW-What do you do if the coin lands on its side?

Shemale.

The proper term is "intersexed".

Perhaps but "intersexed" doesn't roll off the tounge as easily.

True. I've gotten used to it; I'm heavily into the BDSM and sex-positive communities.

Hmm, not sure how to respond other than, umm ... ok.

My point is that I'm often around people who would take offense to "shemale". Most people aren't, and so don't bother.

[Edit:] Not trying to troll, only to explain.

1064. I shall not derail this thread by mentioning my gender. As amusing as it may be.

1065. I shall not derail this thread (or any other) regarding pseudonouns in an attempt to create a gender for Chrysalis.

(Quick quiz: the "generally accepted" pronoun for an intersex individual is what? He, She, and...? Bonus points: name a gender neutral pronoun.)

1066: I am not allowed to be on stakeout when my NPC girlfriend shows up at my van I'm "staking" out in with a pizza and proceed to make love to her and enjoy the pizza when my accomplice on the inside of the building is listening to the whole thing through an earwig while trying to pump a mark for information and not throw up at the same time. This was only really, really, really, funny the first and only time.

1067: For Trolls, a grenade launcher is not a bludgeoning weapon. Or so I am told.

Ze/Zir. Ze is gender neutral! Gender neutrality becomes Zir.

1068: The Public Diner "You should not eat so much" is not a Shadowrunning hotspot.
1069: I am not to convince my teammates that it is, just so I can order the Mac and Cheese.
1069b: For the third time.
1069c: Today
1070: Nor am I to convince my teammates that we should perform matrix runs there, astral runs there, or stakeouts there. Even if I want another slice of their pie.
1070b: Really bad.

1071. I may not take Exotic Weapon Proficiency: Nail Gun.
1071a. Especially if I pronounce it NAIL GUN!!!!
1071b. I may not pronounce RAIL GUN!!!! in the same manner...

1072. I am never to ask the GM if any person/robot/inanimate object has a goatee.
1072a. Even if the GM describes any person with a goatee, I am not allowed to respond "I follow them cautiously, expecting a trap!"
1072b. I am not a Cheddar Monk, nor is anybody else. EVER.
1072c. If I keep making Darths and Droids references, I will be decapitated by a laser-sword.

1073. Everyone is aware that Krusk, the Asian Troll, is still wearing a Hawaiian Shirt and Lederhosen that he woke up in two weeks of game time ago after being stuck by a few hundred stick'n'shock rounds, while sporting a ridiculous bowl cut. Continuing to point that out not only crushes his self-esteem, but also ruins the element of surprise terror imparted upon his victims, be they of the varieties verbal abuse, murder, rape, or otherwise.

1074. I am not allowed to use capsule rounds/injection arrows/darts/etc to deliver Long Haul into an enemy we are running away from... again
1074a. Even if its to make them use resources to heal stun damage instead of waiting for it to heal over time.
1074b. Should I ever do this I am not allowed to find a safe place to sleep when its my turn to keep watch... again

1075. I am not allowed to shackle and then lock myself in the trunk of a teamate's vehicle, and then start screaming and moving about when they try and cross a border...again
1075a. Even if they deserved it.

1076: I must learn that Tasers are not an acceptable way to greet children who wander by a park table while I am in the middle of a conversation with my Fixer.
1076a: Even if they might be corp spies.

1077: I must be aware that shock collars are an unacceptable way of teaching fellow runners to sub vocalize.

1078: Troll strippers are generally an inappropriate bachleor party gift for elven Johnsons.
1078a: Videos of elven Johnsons with troll strippers to add to negotiation tests are equally inappropriate.

Of course: pepper punch is.

Would not "A Night On Bald Mountain" be more appropriate?

1079: If I am ever alowed to play a vampire PC, I am not to portray him with a bad impersonation of Crispin Freeman.
1079a: Said PC is not allowed to refer to Female members of law enforcemnt agencies as "Police girl."

1080: I am not allowed to play myself as an elf runner with connections to fastjack.
1081: Even though I fit the profile/

Even if the "Police Girl" in question is carrying a 6 foot long rifle/cannon?

Most police don't have 6' long guns. That's more like vigilante girl.

It's a reference to an anime called Hellsing, where aforementioned "Police Girl" does in fact have a 6 foot rifle/cannon taller than she is. The main character (a vampire), her partner/master (after he turns her into a vampire to save her from death) calls her "Police Girl" for at least the first few episodes.

1082: Not allowed to hava a rocker character who plays the accordion
1082a: Or the bagpipes
1082b: or the kazoo
1083: It does not matter if my character used to run with the Neo-Tokyo equivalent of the Leather Devils, I am still not allowed to have a character based on Hard Gay.

1084 I am no longer allowed to watch Serenity or Firefly and thus recreate any of the characters from said flicks into NPC's.
1084a Or recreate bad guys. IE Reavers. With cyberware. Gone bad.
1085 I am no longer allowed to gm a one shot scenario evolved around the A-team. Making Mad Murdoch into a gay dragqueen elf with a huge crush on the troll B.A Baracus.
1085a And then give B.A to the homophobic player in the group.
1085b And Mad Murdoch to the flamboyant person in the group. Then enjoy the show.
1086 I am not allowed to seduce the GM (before husband and I decided we were good for each other). Well, my character is no longer allowed to seduce GM's NPC's.

Your going to hell, you know that?

I'm going to hell for worse.
(Of course, its entirely possible that this incarnation is hell, so...)

Anywho, when the sixth world comes round we pretty all much go through hell.
Make that Hel, I'm Loki after all.

Wow, I was looking through the list of "things Mr welch cannot do" that was linked on the first post, and found this:
404:No longer allowed to make a Physical Adept that specializes in wielding dual Monofilament Whips.
Not only have I done this but I used the martial arts rules from arsenal to make him a swirling vortex of death.

well except the fact in theme Nordic Hel =/= Christian Hell :3

Also in the original page:

434 a. Unless this game is Shadowrun.

How many loin-cloth wearing barbarian shadowrunners do you know?

Seen a couple of axe wielding ones in my time, and a monofilament whip user who wore nothing but a kilt, but no swords...

Nordic Hel isn't just a place, its also a person. Loki's daughter in fact. Supposed to be quite buitifull if you get past the "half decayed corpse thing".
I'm sure some membors of the more flambant and bloodthristy ganges fit that profile, now add to that the fact that the character is a troll and you have a mental image that will haunt you at night.

thanks alot folks...now I have to go create "Grognak the barbarian" just to get it out of my head...j

Neil the Ork Barbarian

1087 A trolls horns are not handlebars.
1087a Neither are an elves ears
1087b I can never again start the conversation comparing which would give you better grip in the bedroom
1087c But we all agree the dwarf makes a good stool if you need extra height to grab the trolls horns.

1088: I am not allowed to sing "The Song That Never Ends." EVER.
1089: My Class II Feline SURGE Changeling is not allowed to wear a nun's habit. EVER.

1090: when my runner is bored I´m not allowed to flood the teams commlinks with the digged up sound file of "the most annoying sound in the world" from the movie Dumb & Dumber and just loop that sound.



aww must have look adorable :3

1091: Their so no drug called "skooma" in shadowrun.
1092: Nor is it primarly used and dealt in by feline changleings
1093: I am no longer allowed to give a blood curtleing scream and begin yelling "MARROWIND WAS BETTER YOU XBOX BOUND FOOL!" everytime someone mentions Oblivion at the table.
1094: Sniper rifles are not "the modern day guillotine"
Edite: Updated numbers, might I ask why the khajiit in quistion was ever wearing a nun habit?

Regarding 1093 - agreed, I liked both games but.... Morrowind... Ah man now I'm going to go force Daggerfall to work on my PC when I get home. Dang that going take some doing... so much for making cookies...
Regarding 1094 - Who says?

Dr. Who

Honey, Loki darlin', I am a mother to a teenagedramaqueen and a dramatweecrownprincess who is turning out pretty much the same way as her big sister. You have no idea of what hell is. Trust me.
Hel, Midgardswyrm and Fenris. My kids can make Fenris beg for scraps, use the Midgardswyrm as a skip rope and make Hel wear make up.

Wow I'm going to have to take your word on that one. It would seem your family is more powerful then all of the /Esir rolled into one. Remind me to take cover with you when Ragnarok rolls round. Maybe you could keep Heimdallr from skewering me.

1095 No longer allowed to see Heartbreak Ridge and quote extensively from said flick during a run/session. "I'm mean nasty and tired. I eat concertinawire and piss napalm. I can put a round in a flea's ass at 200 meters. So why don't you go push someone else's leg in, before I push yours, mudface?!"
1096 I can not have a fenrir as a pet. Even if it is my totem. Nor call the fenrir for Sugarsnaps/Snuggles or anything remotely cute.
1097 Calling Lofwyr for Luffe or Horney just isn't done. And not to Luffe's face either.
1098 When GM is talking about germs and sounding wise and allknowing, I may not use my own knowledge about germs, vira and fungi and deflate GM's miniscule ego. Even when he is deadwrong. It ruins the mood and GM gets pissy and hissy.
1099 When making an adept/shaman/mage, said magicuser isn't allowed to call her weaponfocus for Betty, SnickerSnack, Martha or Shishkebab.
1100 I am not allowed to make oneshot conscenario about retrieving an old nurseryfoci shaped as PapaSmurf (the old smurf from the smurfs, the old guy with the red hat and pants).
1100b And speak smurf if they fail their intelligence rolls.
1100c Even if it is fun.

How much are you willing to pay me?

1101: I am not allowed to run a Technomancer named "Diamond Dave" who loves disco and Quotes "KC and the Sunshine Band " lyrics.
1102: I cannot take Incontinent as a flaw, nor answer" Depends" when the GM asks how many BP I expect from such a silly negative quality.
1103: As a GM I may not subject my players to an hour of John Denver tunes while being smuggled across NAN territory burried under a load of cabbages.