Rule 398. You do NOT talk about Shadowrun.

393. A silk dress is not proper attire at the gaming table
394. Doing make-up and talking to clients is not allowed at the table.
394 a. Even if you run a sex chat line
395. Even if you are a man.

393b. While a silk dress is improper attire, it is preferable that you find an alternative before removing it, as the other method usually proves distracting (and occasionally messy).

393c. Especially if you are a man.

393d. The silk dress is only appropriate if you can make it work.
393e. Bring a bulky jacket, opaque shall or SOMETHING to cover yourself up with so as not to distract the other players.
393f. Absolutely no male gamer will wear the silk dress. This is roleplaying, NOT a puke-fest.

393g. Exceptions can be made if the male gamer is a ladyboy. Buth both hands have to be on the table at all times.

394. Absolutely no characters based on anyone from Excel Saga.

395. I am not allowed to cause the third matrix crash, even if the GM allows my alter ego to create the technology
396. I am not allowed to go to an empty crime mall in a ghoul infested city
397. I am not allowed to ignore the racial maximums, even for a one time mess around charachter
398a. I am not allowed to bust up a spikes party
398b. If the run calls for me too bust up a spikes party i am not allowed to teabag anyone i knock unconcious
398c. if the rule in 398a is violated i am not allowed to skullfuck anyone i knock unconcious
399. I am not allowed anywhere near aces, even for a johnson meet
400. I am not allowed to break into the team faces penthouse with my ancients girlfriend and fuck like an animal on his 4 poster bed.

X: I am not allowed to play a piasma shapeshifter.
X+1: If I attempt to play a character inspired by anything Monty Python did I am to be hit in the head with a large halibut. Twice.
X+2: Fish & chips does not refer to merrow beetle-heads.
X+3: Zen is not a combat drug. I am no longer to use it as such.
X+4: Hacking my teammates commlinks and running Miracle Shooter™ in the middle of a firefight is not allowed. Even though it's funny as hell.
X+5: I am no longer allowed access to nitroglycerine.
X+6: Nitrous oxide and CS are not interchangeable.
X+7: I am no longer allowed to make laes potato chips.
X+8: Duct tape is not the shadowruners' secret weapon.
X+9: If I am hired for an extraction I am to assune it is NOT the dental variety.
X+10: Because it was awesome is not sufficient justification for demolishing a building. Structure hits are an exception.
X+10a: If I am doing a structure hit the objective does not involve attempting to cause a building to reach escape velocity.

401. I am NOT allowed to make Train-Tunnels into Make-Shift CANNONS by blocking off one End and filling it up with explosives . .
402. I am NOT allowed to do the same with buildings.
403. I am NOT allowed to only call TIMBER as a warning when colapsing buildings.

You only think you ate just one.
410. I am no longer allowed to quote this list at any time.

411. I am not allowed to torture magicians with stim patches (only works in SR3).

hi hi

412. I am not allowed to knock spacecraft, orbital stations or suborbital transports out of the sky by using the physical barrier spell and a telescope.
413. While not expressly prohibited, it is considered unsportsmanlike to cast force on heal on people I have just injured in order to prevent them from getting serious healing.

414. I will be Gibbs-slapped (see NCIS) if I EVER break any of the rules listed in this thread.
414a. Hard.
414b. But not by Mark Harmon; he is a busy man.
414c. And not by ANYONE who is going to get a rush out of such an act. This is correction, NOT stimulation.
414d. And NOT with any kind of implement.
414e. And there will be NO getting a running start before striking.

414f. A Shock Hand does not count as an implement for purposes of 414d, and may be used for correction of behavior as listed in 414.

415. There is no such thing as strip shadowrun.
416. Hamsters are just pets nothing else.
417. I am not allowed to start a dance dance revolution
418. Or any other kind of revolution.
419. Having ranks in fashion and law doesn't make me the fashion police.
420. I can't base characters off of anyone in the movies Half Baked or Harold and Kumar.

421. This is not a positive quality for snipers called "JFK Magic Bullet".

422: Cheech and Chong are not acceptable role models for PCs, even if they exist in Shadowrun.
423: I am not allowed to start up a poser gang, especially if it's based on a popular TV series.

424: I am not allowed to play my Leather Devils ganger using a bad impersonation of Paul Lynde, Bruce Vilanch, or Ross the Intern.
425: I am not allowed to play any character based on Bob Ross, not even a violent and demented version of Bob Ross.
426: As a GM, My BBEG may not punish someone by exiling them to Detroit.
427: Said BBEG may not have a cyberhand with interchangable implements including a sword, a vibrator, and a blow dryer.
428: Said BBEG may also not "build a fighting force of extraordinary magnitude."
429: Simsense theaters do not show movies in "Feel-around"
430: No matter how advanced cars have become in 2070, no automobile has a specail alarm to warn you that your fly is open.
431: I may not start a charity called the United Appeal for the Dead.
432: The United Appeal for the Undead is right out, too.
433: There is no board game about Dunkelzahn assasination conspiracy theories.
434: I am to keep any other references to Kentucky Fried Movie out of the campaign.
435: No fucking Tachikomas. EVER.
436: When Playing a campaign set in Austrailia, I am not allowed to encourage everyone to name their characters "Bruce."

Why not?

There's nothing more annoying then four tachikomas talking at once.

Sure there is. Five.

436 a. Same holds true with Scotland.

Ever seen the end of GITS SAC 2nd Gig?

436b. Similiar concepts hold true for Ireland and "Darby", Germany and "Wilhelm", "Adolf", and "Siegfried", and Latin American Countries with "Juan", "Carlos" or "Jose"
437. Drop Bears should not be used as home security devices
438. Regardless of the "style versus results" debate, some things are always right out (like Barney suits, nerf guns, and auto-injectors filled with "Chemical X"
439. Avoid, when possible, bio-drone rabbits. The results are never good.
440. Using Fire Elementals to warm your coffee (or for the poor people, soy-kaf) is tacky

441. I will NOT get cute with monofiliment wire or weapons in any way. The same goes for my players. Long live the truce, may we all live in one piece.
441a. Magic fingers and a monowhip IS "getting cute".
441b. So is the monowire net gun and its derivatives.
441c. So are drones with monowire strung between then moving at high speed at neck and/or ankle and/or groin height
442. The heading "yeah right" or similar on the conceilability table does NOT mean there is no roll and it is automaically hidden.
443. Essence loss is NOT to be used to "keep score"
444. Background count generated by character actions will NOT be used to "keep score"
445. The GM will NOT decline bribes.
446. Nor will they aid the players if they break any of the rules above.

447. I will not dye the GM's scrotal hair during game.
448. I will stop recommending the tattoo parlour as a gaming place, I will also not allow this time to be used for getting my tattoo worked on as well as gaming.

447. As a GM, I will not use playtest material on my players without properly warning them first.
447a. Even if they are NDA'd and regularly playtest new material.
448. Warform, Chimeric Juggernaught biodrones are never to be used.
448a. Especially when possessed.
448b. Nor should they be used as orbital bombardment.
449. Wrapping a cow in Rating 12 Fire Resistance will not save it from burning up during bovine bombardment.
450. I will not run any games based on Tequila outside of GenCon.
451. I will not take tequila shots while running or planning for any games.

439a. Especially when said rabbit is equipped with a switch-blade
439a-I. Doubly so if the rabbit has a speaker which makes the sound "ka-klick!"
439a-Iα. Triply so if afterwards the speaker says "Time to die, nerd-boy!"

I object to rule 439, bio-drone rabbits are both fun and profitable.

452 I am not allowed to "shoulder mount" a "pepper box" any form of projectile explosive to keep my hands free for other things.

453. Redneck characters are not allowed to play with nuclear weapons or anit-matter, even if the player R 1.

454. I am not allowed to do anything if I say or think the words, "_________ is/are both fun and profitable."

439b. If the Troll in my group starts imitating Tim The Enchanter, I DO NOT have permission to drop the Holy Hand Grenade down his shorts.
439c. If the rest of my party starts doing various scenes form Monty Python and the Holy Grail, I am NOT allowed to shoot them.
439d. If we do end up at Castle Anthrax, I'm staying behind. Naughty, evil, wicked, bad Zoot must be punished.

Renumber starting at 439b - I already grabbed 439a up above. *grin*

455. I will not attach LTA to a sports car then proclaim, "Where we're going we don't need roads."

455a. I will not add ANY modification to a vehicle that calls for 1.21 Gigawatts!

(Thank you Erl of Ingst for getting that verdamt! grapping song stuck in my head!)

439c. Addendum I: The Castle Anthrax is hereby declared a cultural landmark for its peril-inducing atmosphere
439c. Addendum II: All the eightscore blondes and brunettes must be spanked. and then you know what comes next...

456. Using a fleet of helicopter gunships to stage an attack on corporate headquarters is only allowed if 'Ride of the Valkyries' is played by the GM
457. Laser weaponry is not to be used for carving letters into the moon. Regardless of whether that is feasible or not.

Reminds me of when Chairface (from The Tick) did this. Letters at that scale wouldn't be readable; there simply isn't space on the observable size of the moon. Shame.

458. I am not to make "air quotes" whenever I say the word "laser".

459. I am not allowed to pester the rigger for frequent flyer miles.
460. Aztechnology doesn't have taco tuesdays.
461. God told me to do it is not a valid excuse for anything.
462. I am not allowed to start my own cult.
463. No more theme music.

464. No PC shall gain access to THOR shots or other futuristic weapons of mass destruction.
465. In the event I am unable to prevent such a thing from occuring without "heavy handing" it I will not stop the player from digging as deep a grave for themselves as they like by using it to break the setting over their knee.
465a. In the stupidly unlikely event the player above does not abuse the hell out of this power they shall be richly rewarded in karma, they will need it. For running away. Probably from whats left of Aztecnology. Cause who doesn't want those guys gone?
466. I will not make the big D, or any great dragon for that matter, into a dracolich with Spirit pacts and Hidden Life.
467. I will stop telling my players about the option to become immortal and unkillable by the above means solely to make them suffer unimaginably for their hubris.
467a. Killing them for hubris is still fair game though.

i break this atleast once per character, regardless of what game we happen to be playing.

461a. Likewise, telling the rest of the party that God "told me I would be okay, but he's pretty sure you're fucked." is not acceptable.
461b. Especially if my character is Irish.

468. Sympathy is not next to syphilis in the dictionary
469. Sexual provocation is not what you do to the GM when you run out of edge
469. a. Nor is fellatio
469. b. Nor is dressing up as a garden gnome if that is his kink.
470. Cat ears do not make me anymore attractive
470. a. nor hide the extra 200 pounds

471. I shall not kill off this thread by posting things that cause potential players and GMs to take out their eyes.

459a. A rigger is not allowed to ask for boarding passes in the middle of combat.

472. Another Phys-AD with a monowire weed-whacker, Reach +2 weapon.
473. Even if its just a little an electric one

474. I will not validate breaking the rules by saying its good roleplaying.
474a. this will not stop me, it just cannot be the only validation.
475. I will not violate common sence, logic or the laws of physics in game and validate it by saying it is in the rules.
475a. similarly: this will not stop me, it just cannot be the only validation.
476. I am not allowed to play or create a Toxic Blood shaman of an Insect spirit tradition. The aforestated character especially cannot be a vampire of any stripe. Never again Bill.

Done and corrected.

477. First things lets do, lets kill all the lawyers
478. Unless they're OUR lawyers. Those can live
479. The rules are an excuse to break reality
480. Reality is an excuse to break the rules
481. Common sense is an excuse to break reality and the rules
482. For the above reasons, the cake is a lie
483. This was a triumph