2928: 10 kilos of plastic explosives do not a "distraction" make.

Of course not, that's far too small.

2929: Despite the fact it relates directly to his TPK mentality, I am not allowed to ask the GM if he has been 'getting any' before the session begins.
2930: I am especially not allowed to ask the GM's girlfriend, if she is also present.
2931: I am not allowed to try and link PC backstories with character links I can find via tropes.
2932: Hell, I'm not allowed to refer to tropes.

2930a: I am not allowed to theorize on anyones love life at the table, especially anything relating to lights on, lights off etc etc. This applies doubly to the GM.

Yes this was done, yes this person is now on my bad list.

sure it is, especially when it goes off under the Lonestar/KE police cruiser that has decided to chase you away from the stuffer shack, (food fight) instead of actually stop at the scene of the crime


2931 I am not allowed to pattern, make or even consider making my NPCs (ally or villian) from the main characters from the following webcomics:
sluggy freelance
Megatokyo
Applegeeks

2932 actually creating them as characters in the game is expressly forbidden

2933: I am no longer allowed to change the entire future of the Sixth World on a whim. I am most certainly not to do this by releasing the source code of a program of evil intent (PM me to learn it, because I don't want to cause spoilers for my group) to all sorts of easily accesable sites
2934: I am no longer allowed to build a van with multiple multilaunch drone racks filled with Hiemdals. This makes runs rather short and bloody
2934a: If I do build the above van, I am not allowed to use it around any sort of military or the megas. This gives them ideas that result in the rest of the team hating me
2934b: Changing the Hiemdals to Smokeclouds as a non-lethal alternative is not acceptable either. Aiming wrong can result in TPKs
2935: The GTS Tower is forever closed to my rigger, for the same reason as 2934
2936: Hiemdals are no longer for runner use

Heh, so basically you're working your way to "29xx: I am not allowed to play a rigger."

The Tower is such an excellent drone. It's the only way to get a multilaunch in a vehicle with a body lower than 10. I like the idea of filling a bus (Body 20) with Large drone racks (5), all filled with Towers, filled with Dragonfly drones (50) armed with nanites.

I also like the idea of a bus with a cyborg adaptation.

"How much will fit in that?" is a question with such wildly unpredictable answers..

Very Dr. Who.

To hell with fireflies! Hiemdals are just...so much more fun. I mean, if you are able to effectively launch cruise missiles at a target, and you get to make things go boom from beyond line of sight, why bother with the nanites?

"How much will fit?" is not the correct answer to the question "how much explosives do you keep in the van?" when a grenade goes off.

2937: Just because it can I should no longer have my centipede drones crawl up a knocked out victims rectum and wait patiently until he is a meeting with the target before having it explode and kill them both.
2937a: Just because I could prove how it would work and with enough pain killers the victim would not notice multiple drones is not reason enough for me to get away with it....a second time.

I...how...why? I mean, I can applaud the creativity all day long, but Jesus Hubert Christ.

You should have seen the look on the GMs face (and my fellow players) as I described IN DETAIL how it would work and how much explosive it would require along with a small vial that would inject a numbing agent into the victim so he didn't notice the metal insects inside of him. As for why, well that scene in the matrix when they rip the robot bug thing out of him inspired me a week before the game so I did it, simple as that. My character needed more time to design a new weapon and this mission got in the way so he said screw it lets just turn one of the guys employees into a bomb. It worked so very well.

Plus this is Dumpshock, trust me you will read worse.

*cough*

Ladies and Gentlemen, Draco with this evenings entertainment

There are far more horrible things that can happen to someone than getting blown up. For instance: You could be a regenerating shapeshifter and an asshat GM sets you on fire and melts your contact lenses to your eyes, and your earbuds fuse to your ear canal. And that's just with fire; imagine what could be done with nanites. I could give you cyberware that you didn't know about, or build little antennae in your teeth that pick up pirate broadcasts of troll on gnome action, and have it hijack your visual display so you can't unsee it.

Call me simple, but I just like the boom

Thank you, thank you, I'll be here every day.

And at night you can find me across the street at the strip club! (You know you like dragons that take it all off*)

*Yes, I have seen art of feral (non-anthro) dragons pole dancing. It's awesome.

It's bad news when the GM "just likes the boom"...

Hey, I'm not simple and I like the boom.

It's just that I know of so many different ways of making the boom.

Why must you ruin my innocence...

Codename: Honeycomb.


Sometimes I worry about you.

Try googling "dragon genital vore". WARNING: NSFW!

Google "vore." That along makes most people squick out.
But yes, I know what that is. Not new.

Squickiest thing I've ever personally seen? Probably a picture labeled "cock and ball torture" and it involved a chain saw.

I'll leave it at that.

I'm not going to start a "who's seen the weirdest porn" contest", but I've seen play-piercing suspension in person ^_^

I thought /b/ was supposed to be the internets bad neighborhood....

It is, we discuss, they illustrate.

2937: I am no longer allowed to theorize about Shadowrun and Rule #34 out loud.
2937a: I am no longer allowed to theorize about Shadowrun and Rule #34 in my head.

Wait wait wait wait.

I already said that. At least twice.

I'm surprised I didn't already add this:

2938. I am no longer allowed to start a "strangest porn," "weirdest porn," or "squickiest porn" conversation in any thread on dumpshock.

2938a: I am not allowed to start one in-game either.
2938b: Especially not if I put my teammates' faces on my entry/ies.

2937b: Furthermore, I am not permitted to use any variant of Rule #34 as an effect description for any Psychotropic Black IC, Black Pit databombs, or Black Night BTLs my character writes or purchases, no matter how much sense it would make.
2937c: In fact, no references to Rule #34 while gaming whatsoever.

2939: I am no longer allowed to assume Dwarf Fortress is an actual simulation of dwarf life when I play a hacker
2940: I am not to try to recreate the events of Boatsmurdered in Shadowrun
2940a: Nor am I to try and recreate specific elements from it, like say, ravenous pachyderms with a thirst for dwarfish blood
2941: Having enough piercings to set off a MAD detector is a bad idea

2939a: The dwarf rigger's van is not his "fortress".

2942: I am no longer allowed to apply reality to Shadowrun cryptography rules.
2943: I will not allow the words "geometry", "physics", "thermodynamics", "mathematically" to exit my mouth in relation to Shadowrun.
2944: Attempts to apply set logic to Shadowrun rulings falls into the "mathematically" limitation from 2943.
2945: Likewise, any attempts to explain magical phenomena in terms of "AI fabrications and hypnosis" will result in boot-to-the-head.

And one for Jenny and The Wimp?

2946: Levitating an incoming rod during a kinetic bombardment does not make my PC a "Rodular Power."

2946a: Nor does this give my PC permission to claim any of the following: "Rod is God", "In Rod We Trust", or that they are "Rodimus Prime".

Psst. It's "Boatmurdered," singular.

2947. I am not allowed to use Dwarf Fortress as a rational for modding a crossbow to shoot full auto.
2948. Nor am I allowed to use Dwarf Fortress as a rational for giving silk clothing any points of Impact Armor.
2949. Carp are not deadly murderers of the sea.

2949a: No, not even if they have "Frickin' LASERS on their heads".

So true. They are the deadly murderers of the Mississippi river. Boat moving at 30mph, jumping carp at 20lbs = ow.

Or 40lbs...or 60lbs...or 70lbs...
(Legendary 70lb carp died recently)

Poor Two Tone

67 pounds, and they're not even eating it?

They found it dead. It probably wasn't fresh anymore.

There's a bigger one than this that can get up to 200+ lbs.

Try Devil Fish which can weigh up to a ton.

But yeah, not carp. I don't think manta rays (and related fish) are in dwarf fortress. Just carp, pike, sharks, and some others. The reason carp were so dangerous is that their bite attack did 1-6 damage where a "Very Strong Dwarf" did 1-2, maybe 1-3, when punching. Plus the bite "latched on" which caused the carp to drag the dwarf into the water and who would then proceed to drown (as the perfectly vertical, 6 foot bank, can not be climbed).

Toady commented, "I think I made fish too hardcore."

Skeletons even had to have an actual hit-point mechanic implemented, as the game only killed creatures through bleeding or major organ damage (eg. brain, heart, lungs) which skeletons did not have. It was actually possible to completely dismember a skeleton, lop off its head, and still have it quiver around on the ground scarring your civilians (I think the torso was considered the "alive" part, I'm not entirely sure on that....).

So skarp, skelephants, and skeagles were notoriously dangerous (carp, elephants, and giant eagles being the most dangerous living creature, undead versions were just that much deadlier--on count of being unkillable).

I can't find the "stats" for it, but the 4-footer can weigh about 70-80 lbs, whereas the big one gets 10 feet across. That's substantially more weight. And when it's jumping out of the water at whatever mphs they pull and you're on your way past on your boat/ship, that's not a collision I want to be near.

I am not allowed to have a Troll Character that can withstand a direct hit from an Anti Tank missle