484 I am not allowed to "Make a note here" about a "HUGE SUCCESS"

Nothing to see here people.

Still alive

485. No AI's named Glados.

486. Aperture Science and Black Mesa are not real companies.
486a. And I am not allowed to create them.
486b. These points of data do not make a beautiful line, we're not out of beta or releasing on time

487. Upon burying a dozen orks in the Barrens, I am not allowed to make jokes about a new Ork underground.
487a. Even if it felt appropriate at the time.
488. I am not allowed to run over the Johnson with an Ares Citymaster in an attempt to save her.
488a. She doesn't know that it was just a glitch as I drove over her to hit BBG during his monologue.
489. Saying "she used Hand of God" about an NPC who is paying us for protection is insufficient reason to object to having my pay docked after placing the NPC is great peril.
490. As a GM, I am not allowed to spend several months of the campaign with the runners trying to figure out who shot JR.
491. Having the players wake up at the end of the campaign and get unplugged from a UV host is a hack and is never to be done.

487a. While in the Barrens, I am not allowed to replicate "Barrens Chat" and constantly tell the party Chuck Norris and Mr. T facts.

492. I am not allowed to get drunk.
493. I am not allowed to get the GM drunk
494. I am not allowed to play strip poker for edge

491. I am not allowed to improvise a rocket launching system by explaining to the GM that my Troll is just that strong.

491a. Even if he's using grappling line to swing missiles like a bola

496. I'm not permitted to name my asian Minotaur 'Mu-Kao'.

Can I use that at some future point? It'd be perfect the next time I play Jade Claw (an athropomorphic RPG set in feudal Japan, all the races are from the zodiac--Iron Claw is the feudal Europe setting with different races, they're compatible, and you can do really fun things like sneaky elephants).

492b. Nor am allowed to name an eastern drake Ryuji (it's funnier if you know a little Japanese; "Ryuji" means dragon-man)

Umm, guys, and lady, your numbers are off.

Chrysalis--492-494
Blade-495
Hart-496

Whoops. I guess that makes me 497 and onwards, huh?
I'll leave number 500 for someone with something more profound.
497. I'm not allowed to have sex with an ork female just to have a full litter of ork-babies for the sacrifice metamagic
498. There will be no yelling about 'shine-boxes', or else the speaker will be 'kept there'. If you know what I'm saying. Fughedaboudit
499. Infecting people with Ebola is not cool. This is also applicable to threatening people to 'sell their children to a bunraku parlor where the clients are infected with [enter virus here] and don't use condums', along with similar ideas

500. If my human character is infected with HMMWV I, I may not have a t-shirt in-character which reads "I got bit, drained, smacked in the back of the head with a shovel, and burried in a grave and all I got was this miserable t-shirt".

And there's the 500 on this. Now we begin the move towards making it 1000!!!

485a. Or SHODAN.
485b. Or Cortana.
485c. Or Durandal.

485d. or MCP

501. If there is any hint of a CoC theme to the game I am running, no old Metallica (Master of Puppets and Ride the Lightening LPs) may be played as theme music or before a big event. It tends to freak the players out too much.

(I actually did the above while running a Delta Green game. Players were not too happy with me.)

If it somehow enriches your fun, by all means.

Someone will hit me, I'm sure, but it'd be worth it. X3

N: I am not allowed to make a cyborg that resides in a heavily modified GMC Sandal.
N+1: If, for some reason I do make one, at any time I say EX-TERM-I-NATE!!! I am to be bludgeoned with a halibut. Hard.
N+2: I am not to abuse the cyborg rules to make cybermen.
N+3: No, I cannot have a sonic screwdriver.
N+4: I am not allowed to leave ARO's at crime scenes that contain riddles with clues to my identity.
N+5: Spy vs. Spy is not appropriate material to gain tactical inspiration from.

Why not? Isn't that why we have the signature quality?

508. There is no 4chan on the Matrix, therefore, no /b/. Therefore, 4chanisms, and /b/isms are not allowed.
509. As a GM, I am to quit making pop culture references to 1960s, 1970s, and 1980s events, movies, music, and TV shows that the college kids in our group have never heard of.
510. The PCC Police in Los Angeles do not beat tourists sensless with thier batons a la Family Guy.
511. There is no Shadowrun verison of the Book of Erotic Fantasy.
512. I am to keep the Frank Zappa refernces to a minimum.

513. I may not learn a Slay [Grandma] spell. Ever.

Hey you'd be suprised how many collage/highschool nerds actualy dig up old videos, comic books, and geniral memorbelia from past areas because its so drecking awsome.

The fact that I brock out laughing at this and I was born in the mid 90s confirms this. (current MAD issues suck now adays)

514: I cannont make a street samuria/Adapt called "Captian Ubisoft"
514a: Names dirved from Sam fisher, Desmond Miles, Atair, or the guy from metal gear cannot be subsitued for above.
514b: Said character can not perform detialed moves from Prince of Persia, Splintercell, or Assasin's creed. No matter how well a discribe them
514c: Infact to prevent 514 it would probibly be best if I'm never allowed to play another Adapt or Street Samuria (to many infrigements of 514)
515: "But it worked in A-Team" Is not a viable excuse
515a: Even if it did.
516: My character cannot start the game by being called while in a monster suit acting in a b-sim. (6th world b movie)
517: Regradless I WILL break 514.....
again

516a. I may not meet Johnson as a hotdog cart-pushing Chinese woman named Mrs. Lee.

518. I may not play the Modal Nodes "Cantina" themes from Episode IV just because bars in the seedier parts of Seattle are starting to look like Chalmun's Cantina in the rougher part of Mos Eisley with all the changelings, odd metatypes and pink mohawks.

519. I am not allowed to be "on the Jazz" whenever things get "interesting" like the proverbial Chinese curse.
520. I am not allowed to "love it when a plan comes together" when we survive a situation where I might be tempted to violate 519.
521. I am not allowed to shoot a teammate with NarcoJet^TM so we can get around their objections to methodologies for executing a 'run.
522. I am not allowed to slip NarcoJet^TM into a teammate's milk so we can get around their objections to methodologies for executing a 'run.
522a. Or their burger.
522b. Or any food item.
523. I am not allowed to hit a teammate on the back of the head with a piece of lumber so we can get around their objections to methodoligies for executing a 'run.
524. I may not push an unconcious teammate wearing a parachute out of a perfectly good aircraft in flight.

525. I may not talk when my mouth is full.
526. I am not allowed to steal animals from the petting zoo to start up a bunarku parlor.

*crying and laughing and sobbing all at the same time*

That's just AWFUL!

527. I am not allowed to buy a flight suit, some electrical components, colored lenses, and some lights, and use any build/repair skill in order to make a GhostBusters proton pack and matching suit.

528. Especially if I can justify how said equipment would actually work against spirits.

529. My rigger may not jump into a drone and then announce that he is moving "on the bounce."

Now These I Really, Really Like...

Hehe. I blame this
(Note: this is part 9 of a series, so if you want to read it all start here (1 of 2) then here (1 of 5) and then part 1 of 14, the first link being 2 of 14, part 3 finishing that adventure).

But immensly funny, no?

531. I will not possess a possession spirit with another possession spirit so that I can possess while I possess.
532. I may not make characters based on the following: Batman, a 40k Space Marine, or Wormwood.
533. Creating the Murdercycle is right out.

534. Thermite is not the solution to all closed doors.
535. Nor is it the solution to walls.
536. Or any barrier, for that matter.

537a. I am not allowed to use a defaulted matrix information search, chemistry, and explosives skills with common shadow runner items and kits in an extended test to make birthday presents for other runners, no matter how much they deserve it.
537b. Even if the recipe is something a toddler could accidentally stumble upon.

538. I will not have the club's sound system play Bach's Toccata & Fugue in D Minor when the PC vampire walks in.
539. Even if he tries to change the music and he has the Gremlins quality at rank 4.

540. I am not allowed to run the Rocky Horror Picture Show as an adventure, even though I think it would be the best adventure ever.
541. I am not allowed to base any of my characters on characters from the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
541 a. Or use quotes from the movie.
542. I am not allowed to talk about Shadowrun: the Musical based on such musical classics as Rent, Repo: The Genetic Opera, and Rocky Horror.

I wanted to do a game of "Shadowrun: The Musical" once: the players would create their character's playlist (to fit their characters) and the GM would have his own playlist. The game would start by playing a random song in the list which the GM would use to improvise the story. The players would have to act accordingly to the song (and do a lot of dancing) and could answer with one of their own songs.
I've never tried it though.

I've actually done this one. Had the runners trying to quietly track down the party responsible for tampering with a batch of chips from the studio that was publishing the simsense remake. Seems the chips had been turned into personafixes, and the studio wanted to get to the bottom of it before the mainstream media connected the Rocky Horror Simsense Show to the rash of ritualistic and in some cases, cannibalistic ("Meatloaf for dinner again?") serial killings.

That's amazing.

I had a chat with a friend of mine I knew from a few years back, we may be writing Shadowrun: the musical! Or something comparable.

543. I am NOT allowed to remember my great ancestors Nazi Super Science for Military Purposes
544. I am NOT allowed to play a Magician named Richard. Or he will get his Arms ripped off.

Ha!

545. As a corollary to number 544 I am not allowed to play an elf mage who's tradition is "Vancian Magic" and who's shadow name is Vaarsuvius.

546. I am not allowed to run an aspected magician (conjurer) who's magical tradition is "Pokemon Trainer" and who summons and binds poke-spirits.

546(a). I am not allowed to have an ally spirit that appears as a pikachu or any other manner of pocket monster.

547. I am not allowed to have any shadowrun character of mine decide to play Vampire: the Requiem in game and then have his character play Paranoia in game and then have his character play D&D in game and then have his character invent a game with strange "horseless carriages" and "boomsticks" that nonetheless has magic and dragons and play it.

547(a). Especially not if I have said D&D character invent a character that has an identical name to my character in Shadowrun.

548. I am not allowed to play a Vodoun magician who creates zombies simply so he can order them to follow young children around.

549. No matter how skilled my character is with a knife, he did not "refuse to use a gun during the gun test" when getting his firearms license.

550. Sentient Hover-beetles are not an acceptable form of transportation.

551. "Pun-Pun is not meant to be played" does not imply that "Pun-Pun is not meant to be played in D&D" and therefore is legal to play in ShadowRun, just so I can punk Lofwyr.

That's because it would be redundant. Shadowrun -already- talks about half the stuff in SR4/SR4a that Book of Erotic Fantasy "adds" to D&D....



To 514a, when you said Desmond Miles, I kept thinking Desmond and Miles from Lost... a guy who travels time and can speak with the dead. Now that's a winning combo. Also, Solid Snake's first name is David. However, I would say characters using Tom Clancy characters are suitable inspirations for Shadowrunners.......

552. My character is not allowed to believe that the history of Fallout will occur in the 6th World.
552a. That means he may not be a doomsayer mentioning that meta-humanity must build a large number of underground habitats to survive the upcoming hell-fury that will be unleashed in 2077 after the Chinese fail to conquer Alaska.

553. Despite how good Solid Snake makes it look, ground humping to crawl along the ground very slowly is not an acceptable solution to defeating motion sensors, even if the method works. There's far faster methods.
553a. In the event that ground humping is the only method to bypass the motion sensor, I am not allowed to "neglect" to disable the sensor after bypassing it to force the rest of the team to ground hump past it.

554. Tight form-fitting armor is only allowed for slender women and men with rock hard abs and firm butts.
554a. My overweight pizza gobbling hacker is not allowed to wear form-fitting outfits, ever.
554b. Especially if he is hanging around the face while the face is attempting to seduce a mark.
554c. He's especially not allowed to be shoving his face with food.
554d. I am not allowed to dress in tight form-fitting outfits to demonstrate what my characters are wearing.

555. I am no longer allowed to only take aim with firearms if the location of my take aim is the target's left eye with the explicit goal of turning him into a pirate. He is unlikely to survive the metamorphosis anyway.
555a. Nor am I allowed to take aim for a person's mouth in order to turn him into a ninja since ninjas "only have eyes for a face". He also is unlikely to survive the metamorphosis.
555b. In the event that I alter two opponents to look like a ninja and pirate using the above rules violations and they survive, I should not be surprised when they gang up on me rather than fight each other.