4938: I can no longer squick out the forums with suggestions of homosexual incestual relations between immortal elves.
4938a: Unless I'm willing to deal with the fallout, which, considering that it's me...

4939: No, painting the soles of my shoes with a coffee based concoction will not hide the fact that they are may of plastic explosives. Even if coffee can hide cocaine from dogs.

4940: No, I may not use Fashion to give someone an epic wedgie. Even if they deserved it.

4940a: I may, however, develop a special spell to do just that.

4940b: Though if Magic Fingers works for titty-twisters it should work for wedgies too.

4941: My magician is not allowed to get revenge on his High School bullies now that he has magic, that's the path of the Toxic.
4941a: But if I'm getting paid for it as part of a Shadowrun, it's fair game.

4942: There are no rules for creative torture.
4942a: Plucking an NPC of all body hair isn't enough to get information out of someone, according to the GM.
4942b: Grabbing the lone hair coming out of the GM's nose and yanking like you are starting a lawnmower isn't a good argument.
4942c: Even if the GM was ready to tell anybody anything they wanted to know.

4940c. Magic Fingers cannot be used ti tickle information out of captives, again.

4943: There is such a thing as too many explosives.
4943a: That amount has yet to be reached, however.

Actually it has, once.

From a game I Was Not In.

Grenade rolled under the rigger's van and goes off.
GM: "You store missiles for your turrets in there, don't you?"
PC: "Yes."
GM: "How many do you keep spare?"
PC: "How many will fit?"

Van explodes.

Depends on the situation.

GM: How much dynamite did you bring?
Player 1: All the dynamite I own. So like 40 kilograms.
GM: Couldn't you have left some back home?
Player 1: I couldn't be sure how much we would need.
GM: So you're climbing along the top of a high speed train with like 50 pounds of explosives -
Player 2: 80 pounds. (me)
GM: 80 pounds of explosives strapped to your back? That's like a bag of cement. You can't do that. Roll a balance check.
Player 1: This isn't D&D, there's no balance skill.
GM: Fine. Roll a, Gymnastics check then. *roll* you fall off the train.

Which brings up:
4944: I may not take Muscle replacement or any other strength booster, solely so that I can justify carrying around an 80 pound bag of explosives with no difficulty.

4945: Toxin-squirting tits are right out.

4945b: This equally applies to real life.
4945c: No, the Bombardier Beetle's vent is not considered a tit.

4946. And forget about the monowhip dong too!

I'd never really considered Shadowrun until I read this list. Now I have the core books and I'm eager to try it. Beware, for I may visit your group. MWAHAHAHAHA!

4947: My catboy cannot be named Chester. He is not dangerously cheesy.
4947a: Unless I roleplay him like this, and all the other players vote to let me keep him.

4948: I am not allowed to use daycares as safehouses ever again.

4949: On a related note, plastic explosives are not to be stored in Play-do cups.
4949a: No, scratching out the part of the label that says, "non-toxic" does not make it okay.
4949b: I am not allowed to add coloring and scents to my plastic explosives so they can be disguised as children's play-do.
4949c: I am, however, allowed to add coloring and scent in order to disguise them as things like cake, food, excrement, corpses, gerbils, vitamins, flowers, com-links, crowns, hammers, bricks, and and thermometers. But only when I intend to kill people or blow stuff up with them.

4950: C4 is not a building material. As such, I may not make chairs, tables, and especially not beds out of it.
4950a: If I do manage to get away with C4 beds, I can never have sex on them. EVER.

4951: Milk crate furniture all through my house does not get me a bonus to my starting cash due to being a tightwad.

4952: Any furniture design where the description starts with "Okay, you remember that episode of twilight zone where..." is right out.

4953: "Bubba's love patrol" is NOT The number one most popular hit single in the world. And it is wrong to tell new players this.

4954: Bags of holding have no place in Shadowrun. As such, I may not implement my infamous double bag trick, even if it doesn't cost me any essence to replace my cyber limbs.

4955: Annihilating the world through a single act of idiocy is not a distraction.

4956: At no point are the words 'detachable' and 'nipple' ever to be used in the same sentence, especially if the next words are 'stick-on comlinks'.

4957: If my character ever does get his hands on a nuke, even a very tiny one, it cannot be used as a high powered blasting cap for an even bigger blast involving several thousand metric tons of C4.

4958: 'Several thousand metric tons' of C4 does not exist in shadowrun, and even if it does, the government notices when obscene amounts of high explosives go missing.

4959: Dirty limericks are not to be used as spell incantations.

4960: I am not allowed to have any geas that involves my tongue leaving my mouth.

4961:Explosives are not to be used to speed up ANY bodily function!

4962: Gestation periods are very similar, and are not related to the size of each race, and I am not allowed to test this.

4963: Even if the rules allow for full cyber torso, I cannot have tits made of snakes and fire.

I think that's everything. I am the best of the best, I am the worst of the worst. I am The Looney!

You forgot gophers! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3lYm0c7gYyU

True. My bad. Oh, I almost forgot one.

4964: My genitals cannot be prehensile, no matter how many points I put into cyber enhancements.
4964a: Even if I'm female.
4964b: Especially if I'm female.
4964c: Explaining how this is possible does not help, it only makes the GM OD on brain bleach.

I've seen enough Hentai to know where this is going...

4945: I am not allowed to use Hentai BTLs as a torture device.
4945a: Mainly because I don't want to know which sick, twisted perverts actually get off on it and aren't being tortured.

Alternate title for this post: "To Squick the Squicker."

I was thinking of calling it the "Tig Rule" after the character in Sons of Anarchy.

Still, a member that every team should have is Tig.

4946: I'm not allowed to be the "Tig" in my group. There are some things that "Normal" abnormal people should ever be exposed to.
4946a: I am still allowed to beat hookers.

Did someone say my name?

"The freak circle is complete." - Juice, Sons of Anarchy

Sometimes, I wonder about my sanity, hanging around these forums. Then I remember sanity is overated anyway.

Quite expensive, too. I've made a massive saving since I discarded mine, and even more since I got rid of my dignity, too.

Allowed, if not encouraged.

4947 I am not allowed to sneak up on team mates with a two ton walker drone that looks like something that would give Deus nightmares...


Though I was allowed to upload the drone camera footage to the nexus... don't think that npc likes my little tm anymore. But she is insane and he called her names.. besides how do you not notice two tons of pure mechanical death sneaking up on you.

I do believe a spirit could help with that.

4948: I am not allowed to lace a DMSO slap patch with a high powered, super-fast acting laxative to use on an unsuspecting guard to get him to leave his post. Apparently it was a prototype and once used the data allowing it's production was lost.

I remember reading that in the Pink Mohawk thread. Solution? Magic. I'm sure a spell could be easily designed, a Health Spell, maybe.

Great. Now if I EVER play a mage... I will design this spell in game...

4949: Stop slapping all the opposition with the highest grade Tranq Patches you can get your hands on. It makes the DM sad.
4949a: That doesn't mean throw them.
4949b: Just stop buying the damn things.

Hm. Call it Purge, maybe? Or perhaps Flush?

4950: Stop implying things about the satanic homosexual assassin's preference for entering target facilities through the back door. We know, alright?
4951: Never send the redneck pyromaniac mage in for anything even remotely like stealth. He is the distraction and is to be treated as such.
4952: "Just because I'm a pacifist doesn't mean I won't tranq you" is not to be taken as a challenge.
4952a: "I have a dart rifle" falls under the same purview.
4952b: In fact, stop abusing your medic's sanity altogether. This isn't Call of Cthulhu, CthulhuTech, or Eclipse Phase.

4953: Abusing anyone's sanity is out, period.
4953a: Unless that's the job.

But it's so fun... especially when you are bringing them down to your level.

Are you kidding? I'm stepping on their heads so I can tread water!

4954: no using Call of Cthulhu sanity rules in secret to determine when players need to be issued another insanity.
4955: no causing a need for Street Docs to be doctors of psychology.

Well she is a tm, and all I can figure is the machine sprite either rolled really really well while the prime runner working with the team glitched... I do know the GM was looking at his dice rolls funny behind the screen

4956: No longer allowed to take the spell 'Orgy' with the Gaes, 'Rule 34.'

4956a: Frankly, rule 34 should not be allowed anywhere near magic.
4856b: The matrix is ok, though. If only because the internet is for porn, and (almost) everyone knows it.

Now imagine the area effect spell

That couls be named the brown tune

4957: I'm not allowed to show up to the game already in character.
4957a: Especially when playing surly physical adepts.
4957b: Or Speakers Way adepts, no one likes my flair for insults when it is aimed at them.

But, it might be Fantasy Cthulhu-Punk...

I have said this in game. I was challenged. Slap patch over the eyes.

4958: Yes it was cool in Wanted but leave the exploding rodents out of the game.

4958a: Exploding Bust-A-Moves, OTOH...

4958b: Same thing with exploding civilians who were crazy enough to go to the BBEG's free clinic.

4959a: I'm not allowed to ask my mentor spirit Dog to herp derp.
4959b: I'm not allowed to make a Qabbalist magician with an addiction to the accumulation of credsticks.
4959c: I'm certainly not allowed to have both combined... Ever again.