5078: Not allowed to follow through on my hollow threats of beating my players, no matter how much opportunity and reason they give me.
5078a: I did not get my cane to be a beatin' stick, it should not be used as such.

5076c: Nor Derpy Hooves or Doctor Whooves
5076d: Actually, how about no names from any children's cartoon show, ever.

Again, I re-iterate: they forbade me from doing it so I wouldn't steal any potential future thunder of theirs.

Do Freakazoid. They'll get a kick out of it, before realizing that you're half brain dead, crazy, and have NO ability to stay focused.

Slamm-O!?

No, he's grown up at least a little bit.

He's taking care of his Son, after all.

Also, Freakazoid would be a technomancer. Remember, he got his powers from being zapped into cyberspace while he was online.

That reminds me of something that never actually sat well with me. Freakazoid was such a completely different personality than his original self.

Even as a kid I didn't care about his normal-ego "Dexter" (what's with nerds being named Dexter, anyways?), I pretty much only cared about Freakazoid. Watching the series you can even notice that pretty quickly the writers themselves stop bothering with Dexter and just focus on Freakazoid instead. His entire backstory was pretty much unimportant except in the handful of episodes with Ricardo Montalban as Mister Gutierrez. Other than that he was a crazy-strong super-speedy blue-skinned goofball more interested in having fun and being bizarre than anything else, and who really mostly pulled heroics reluctantly or by accident.

...so essentially your average shadowrunner, yeah?

~Umi

Most Shadowrunners named Dexter find a street name really fraggin' quick.

Try having a name like Duncan Winchester... Character was saddled with the Street Name of "Scuttle." He kind of likes it.

/Agree

Although I can't watch the show as an adult, it's too...random. I have ADD, fine, but not that badly.

I never could concentrate on Freakazoid, he didn't shift fast enough to interest...

...

Huh?

5079: I am not allowed to base a run around a blood magic ritual causing the moon's orbit to decay over the course of 72 hours and require the runners to locate and enlist the aid of a dispersed group of ancient titans with the power to undo the dread magic before the earth is smashed.

5079a: Even if I were, I am not allowed to make it logistically impossible to complete the run within only 72 hours and force the team to use a semi-stable time loop to buy themselves more time to accomplish their task.

~Umi

5080: I'm not allowed to have any form of teleportation or time travel in Shadowrun, ever.
5080a: No, not even if it involves a British Police Box.

5058b: Especially if it involves a British Police Box.

5059: i shall not make a norse tradition mage under thor and his initiation shall not be, "STOP, HAMMER TIME!"
5060: i shall not follow anything on this list because i cannot have fun anymore.

Oh

My

God.

Do want.

Yeah, that one took me until the last part of the first sentence to get.

Then I just shook my head and went, "no..."

Sort of... I think the GM had planned to have Mr. Johnson backstab us, but since my event made the run go so... well, let's just say "horribly wrong", I think he paid us in full but no extra bonus or anything [there were some extra parts to our mission, IIRC]... My character was in an all or nothing mood, since I needed to replace my truck!

Don't you mean "Horribly right?" After all, you probably inflicted a few hundred grand in urban renewal on the Barrens.

You do make a good point. Always acting with the neighborhood's best interests in mind, afterall.

So that's what I should have done with that Bus.

Most of the right-thinking citizens of Seattle would probably consider you to be a hero if you started driving mobile fuel-air explosives in the form of city busses into the barrens and lighting them off.


Granted, you'd quickly have a bigger bounty than Kane's put on your head by the various underworld figures who derive their income from the Barrens, but it would be worth it.

And just think - when Kane shows up to COLLECT that bounty, you could ask for his autograph. For, um, your heirs. If he leaves any. ;D

You have to be insane to try and collect a bounty on someone who thinks of Fuel-Air Explosives as fun and games.

Besides, Kane's a pirate, not a bounty hunter. He wouldn't be able to collect a bounty without the party he's trying to collect from choosing instead to shoot him, keep their bounty, and collect the bounty on him... Which is exactly what most Runners would try if they heard a man with a price on his own head was coming after them.

.... yeah, that's Kane alright ...


He wouldn't be collecting it out of a motive for profit (the money would be just a fringe benefit). He'd be collecting it because he woudl be offended that someone else had a HIGHER bounty than Kane did! ;D


Middle-man, my friend. Middle-man, and a 50/50 split.

Considering that my group pulled off an assassination attempt on themselves...

...do go on.

~Umi

Oh, we kidnapped some bums and executed them on camera.

The client had no idea what any of the group looked like (only their name) so he hired us to "go kill that group" (and didn't know who we were).

If I recall correctly, there's a nice rendition of that adventure here. I couldn't even begin to guess where as it's something like 100 pages long and I didn't even read most of it the first time (the author is our wonderfully insane friend Jim, who may or may not be in the airforce and/or the secret service).

5081: **stands in front of the blackboard** I will not use White Phos Grenades for every situation...I will not use White Phos Grenades for every situation...I will not use White Phos Grenades for every situation...

Why are Shadowrun players so eager to add to the misery and violence against the destitute and indigent in the city, huh?


Couldn't you at least have the common metahuman decency and courage to kidnap and execute some gangers instead?

Or at least those annoying Humanis Policlub members down the street.

First let me say that I agree with you in feeling, however, from a purely logical standpoint, the bums would be the least likely to turn up on a missing persons report, thus lending more security and less chance of discovery. Granted that it is a very nasty thing to do, and this is really they only thing I truly miss about the Whitewolf game Vampire...Humanity rating.

You know what's arguably even cleaner, more secure, and more morally upright? Instead of recording an actual killing, record a fake one. Mages can make some pretty stellar illusions, even ones that fool cameras, ya know.

If the Johnson doesn't actually know what his targets looks like, and isn't going to be checking up at the morgue to confirm identities anyway, and is relying entirely on your ostensibly non-doctored footage of the deed as the sole form of confirmation, well then...

~Umi

Umi......dont take this the wrong way....but..... <3

Pfff.

Kidnap the Humanis bastards. Donate them to a local nest of ghouls. Two problems solved, with one set of brass cojones.

The bums were easier to find.

In an unrelated related incident, we kidnaped a homeless guy (again, to kill on tape*) and had trouble subduing him.

Turned out, no one in the party could deal non-leathal damage.

So we beat him with his own hobo bag.**

*The guy we were hired to kill also happened to be someone we had good relations with.

**Did I mention that we're awful awful people?

Come on, put some Wageslaves out of their misery!

Ya know, previously I'd always assumed that playing an infected like a Ghoul would be hell because of the dietary requirement. But now I realize I could just eat Humanis members. I mean, it's not like they're scarce or hard to find...

~Umi

You can also eat cultured flesh - IOW, vat-grown stuff. There's an optional rule to just increase lifestyle costs by 30%, to reflect the added expense of finding and maintaining channels that can supply your needs, without you going around committing ,urder.

...

Then again, if there's a surplus of orphans in your neighborhood, why PAY for your meals? ^_^ hahahaha!

...you're talking about starting a business around paying orphans a little bit of nuyen to let you use them as the feedstock for your vat-grown ghoul-oriented catering service, providing both yourself and the local community a humane source of metahuman flesh that also puts some money in your pocket while supporting the destitute orphans... right?

...

...right?

~Umi

...................... um ....................... suuuuuure, yeah, that's exactly what I ws thinking. Little vat-stirrers. Yeah.

*nudges small, lifeless body further behind the couch.*

How'd you guess?

No, not vat-stirrers. The orphans would provide the base biological material. It's like growing fruit trees rather than slaughtering cattle.

~Umi

Mmm...shmeat...

Okay, it's actually less like growing fruit trees, and more like growing meat trees.

And continuing with the cattle metaphor, since the meat comes from chitlin's, it's like veal!

~Umi

To be frank, by "vat-stirrers", I meant "I plan on stirring them into the stewpot. Yum, tasty orphan-chowder!"

Population controll at its .... well i was going to say finest, but.... hehe

No, that's Retro ZPG. Finest restaurant ever created.

Mmmm, Corpus Crispies, finger lickin' good....

Actually, yeah. This is a much better idea.

Narcoject/SnS some Humanis punks that look sort-of like you, take the trid in a really dark basement, keep them silent but use physical illusions to make it sound and look like they're talking, then cap the mothers. Donate them/sell them to the ghouls.

If any of the people you need to imposterate are orcs or trogs, kidnap some Sons of Sauron. Don't play favorites, they're all heinous racial supremecists. The funny thing is that they get to die together.

The ghouls get fed, you get nuyen, you get to drop some heat because now folks think you're dead, and the world gets fewer loathesome Humanis/Sons of Sauron punks in it.