Or a Kelsey Grammer Beast Spirit...

...I'm sorry, I just had to make a Dumpshock account to post in this thread.


2760. I am not allowed to make a Technomancer, Magician, or Rigger whose Sprites/Spirits/Drones resemble Pokemon, Digimon, or any demon from a MegaTen game.
2760a. Even if I mod my commlink to look like a Pokeball, Digivice, or COMP.
2760b. Even if I have really spiky hair.
2760c. Especially if I have really spiky hair.
2761. I am not allowed to have really spiky hair.
2762. I am not allowed to take a Geas which forces me to hold a toy gun to my head and shout "PERSONA!" every time I cast a spell.
2762a. Even if I have emo hair.
2763. I am not allowed to take 50 points of negative qualities and tell the GM that "I need them for RP."
2764. I am not allowed to take Huggy Bear as a contact.
2764a. Especially not a loyalty six contact.
2765. I am not to cast Powerball to take out a drone on a crowded street, even if it is my only physical combat spell.
2766. The C.L.U.E. Foundation is not to be used as a "To Do" list.

2767: No matter how cool it was, I am not allowed to make and use explosive lawn darts anymore.

2768: I am not allowed to attempt to summon the Ghost of Dunklezahn. I wouldn't be able to prove it was actually him anyway.
2768a: I am especially not allowed to attempt to bind the Ghost of Dunklezahn.
2769: Raid is not an effective way of dealing with Insect Spirits.
2769a: Nor is Off.
2769b: Citronella Candles are right out.
2770: I am not allowed to make a character based off Jack Burton.
2770a: I am especially not allowed to make "Burt Jackson, Space Trucker". (This actually happened to a friend of mine. The GM Didn't notice for weeks.)

<reference missed>

Big Trouble in Little China.

Classic 80's Camp. Cheesy as hell, but fun. It's a kung fu film with a clueless white guy in the middle of it.

A friend of mine was playing a space RPG (I think it was star wars d20 or something) and one of her friends made a thinly veiled version of said Clueless White Guy.

So basically, I'm not allowed to make a clueless trucker with a mullet. Especially not in space.

2771. The word "Harlequin" is not allowed anywhere in my character's family tree. Or contact list. Or anywhere on the character sheet.
2771a. Same goes for Lofwyr, Fastjack, Dunkelzahn, Elrod, or Damien Knight.
2771b. In fact, if my character sheet has the name of any named NPC in any core book, I am to save the GM's time and bin it before even asking for permission.
2772. I am not allowed to "jump the gun" and start attacking random CrashCart ambulances with cans of bug spray in a campaign set in 2050.
2772b. And especially not in a campaign set in 2070.
2773. I am not allowed to buy anything in an amount that requires "extra pages" to get all the digits in. Especially if this item is C12.
2774. Phones are no longer allowed to be implanted in cyberhands anymore after the infamous "Phone Home" incident.
2775. If anything on my character sheet makes me cackle, snicker, or even smirk; the sheet is to be immediately binned.
2776. If, when rolling dice, the player in the kitchen asks if it started thundering, I need to have a new character ready for next session.
2777. I will be disavowed by my team when Lone Star shows up if I ever again start trying to stake every club kid at !!! in glitter while shouting "TEAM JACOB!"

2778. I am not allowed to have a Panther Assault Cannon outfitted with strobe lights and speakers so that, when combat starts, it can start playing "Smoke on the Water" or "The Final Countdown".

...or Thunderstruck.

No, that would be for a modified gauss rifle... still not allowed though

I did that in one of our games, actually. AP half -4 is -sick-. I only got three shots off before the thunderstruck was taken out, but damn, it was worth it.

Now I just need a song to go with the MP Heavy laser. Maybe some sort of moonraker remix.

Faster than a laser bullet? Whatever a laser bullet may be...

however, Wagner's "Flight of the Valkyries" is perfectly acceptable


2779- I am not allowed to base my mage character on Harry Dresden
2780- If I was i could not have "Bob" as a contact
2781- I cannot quick draw a panther assault cannon even if i do have the quick draw adept power and a quick draw holster for it
2782- I may not start humming "Click Click Boom" when my Gunslinger adept preps a demo charge
2783- I may not build an AI rigger pilot that lives in a Renraku Manservant and has the AR/VR persona image of an elven Motoko Kusanagi
2784- I am not allowed to build a close air support LAV that would scare the heart out of everyone in creation

2781a. There are not holsters for Panther Cannons, especially not Quick Draw holsters, and any attempt to get one past my GM will result in a kidney punch.

actually, i'm pretty sure it is.

...Well, I mean, if it's made with Mantis Glands.

...Or if you're really creative with how you use is.

I am, of course, referring to the pesticide.

this is found in every insect spirit type.





now see KE IV in arsenal, page 84. this is what a commercial grade insecticide (made from "a combination of concentrated insecticides") does to insect spirits in the 6th world... power 8 acid damage. immediate speed, and contact vector. it isn't pretty. now, granted, raid is not going to be quite as strong. but i'm sure it will be at least, say, power 2-3. boosted by 4 damage because of the allergy, and at -4 dice to resist the effects courtesy of their allergy. now, granted, you're not going to knock out any force 12 insect spirits with raid. (most likely) but if you spray a force 3 insect spirit with raid a couple of times, it's going to be either in serious pain or dead.

*and*


if you spray an insect spirit with raid, is it still in contact the next round? (after the immediate speed has elapsed) most likely, unless the spirit takes some drastic measures.

so like i said... raid is actually a pretty effective method of dealing with insect spirits (and KE IV is a devastatingly effective method of dealing with bug spirits...)

...Okay, you win. I didn't know that.

Raid is an effective way of dealing with Insect Spirits.

However, a flyswatter is not.

And Citronella Candles are still right out.

...Those little bug zappers might work. Maybe if you used a modified Lucifer Lamp...?

Check the fluff at "Major Syndicates" chapter of "Vice" - looks like Sticks flatlined some insect spirit vessel with insecticide drink.

2782. I can no longer hijack the humor threads on Dumpshock with rules debates.

See, I don't have Vice.

So I didn't know.

...I'm actually wondering if a Lucifer Lamp based Insect Spirit Zapper would work now though.

Hm...

2783. While my Pornomancer is perfectly legal, I may never again describe in gory details the effects of the Orgy spell in a cramped subway car.

2783 a. And if I do, I have to clean up the mess...

2784. No functional helicopter beanies.

2785. I am not allowed to make a shaman with new totem, 'God in the machine', with a +2 to all matrix actions.
2785a. I am also not allowed to primarily make him a sorcerer to up meat attributes and then beef the hell out of his matrix skills so he AR's everything at 3-4 IP with no essence loss.
2785b. I am expressly forbidden from continuing on in that vein long enough that my GM starts thinking the ability to summon sprites as some of my real spirits is a good idea, no matter how much the systems overlap.
2785c. No, I am also not allowed to make a spell 'Trace' that will tell me where someone lives. Especially if said person is standing in front of me having a drink. It's called mind reading and the spells already exist for getting it from his head.
2786d. No, I cannot 'exploit' the woman in front of me, either, no matter how badly I want access. Nor can I probe her for multiple hours without her knowledge.

Yah if you probe her for hours and she doesn't notice you both have some issues!

2787. Centering any form of Area Effect Spell on my self and telling my teammates "Run" is no longer an acceptable tactic.
2787a. Even if it did work in a D&D campaign once.
2788. A military grade Russian hovercraft is not acceptable as a riggers primary transportation in a Seattle based campaign even if the back story supports it.
2789. Ramming mages with a modified step van will not be appearing on a list of standard actions, no matter how effective it was.

2790. I cannot use my jammer to jam another jammer.
2790a. Trying to start a jammer war is unacceptable.

OK, this made me laugh at work.

He's up to 1725 now, he updates it on his LiveJournal

Page 1
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Actually while the main link is called 750 things... it actually has 1848 entries.

I swear this computer has issues... another double post

And don't even mention invade her with worms, or giving her a virus. Let alone backdoor access.

And you can't have an agent do it for you either.

Eww...

Or a sprite.

2786e: I am no longer allowed to have a sprite 'enhance' my complex form, for any purposes of probing said exploited female.

Spoofing her is acceptable though.

#2786f: I may not run 'Black Hammer' on said female's node, even if I am granted User-level access.

#2786g: Utilizing Area options on programs is also not allowed on said female's node (in the hopes of finding a weakpoint), also Rust and Armor Piercing.

#2786h: I may not 'jump in' to the woman, whether I am a rigger or not.

The poor lady *sarcasm*

Awesome ^_^

Does anyone else have the image of some woman walking along and turning around to find some little hacker pushing his commlink into her back, muttering, "Come on, come on, give me access!"?

Or constantly trying to 'click' on her icon, poking her in the arm.

Aside from the comlink, it doesn't sound too different from college.

#2786i: I may not attempt to load "programs" into said woman in an effort to lower her response time and get her to crash.

More of a woman at her desk complaining to her boss that Jerry in IT is trying to 'phreak her node' again.

Oh, is that what the kids are calling it these days?

Better than trying to 'overclock her system'.

What was it in the old days? 'Click her mouse'?

Only if you know what you're looking for.

"Sniff her packets."

You know the old button mice on laptops, before touchpads?

Depending on how drunk/horny/immature you were, their name generally changed to "nipple mouse" or "clit mouse".