2281: My character is no longet allowed to have a for ghoul restaurant when he wants to dispose of a body.
2281a: Even if he make victim saussages.
2281b: Even to serve meta-human oso bucco to ghouls and sell the bones to gnawers.
2282: My Character is no longer allowed to have a restaurant where meta-human get cooked for the pleasure of ghouls and gnawers.

Did you check out the link?

A guy totally did that in Poland.

2273: No Riggers based on Ricky Bobby
2273a: Or anyone else form Talledaga Nights

2274: The troll sammy parasailing using a line hooked to the rigger's truck and then gliding over the secure facility's fences and cameras is still not stealthy, not even if he puts on a black trenchcoat and some mirror shades before doing so.

Yet if he wears some ruthenium polymer or an Improved Invisibility spell, that's all it takes!

2285. I can't use Mercenaries 2 as an inspiration for vehicle design.

misnumerotation we are now at 228x

Previous game my ruthenium jumper had been destroyed by an acid wave spell, so I decided the next week to come up with a plan that was "full-on pink mohawk". Normally I really am the mirror shades wearing pro of the group.... that and I wanted a reason to use my parasailing gear.

It only counts if he lands on one knee with a fist on the ground, then looks up slowly.

But of course.

2276. Singing/playing Instant Karma does not, in fact, get you instant Karma. Ditto with Karma Police and Karma Chameleon. Now a creative mash-up of the three, that's down to GM discretion.
2277. Firebert is not an acceptable runner name.
2278. (apologies as this has been touched on before) No character may be based on anyone from FF7.
2278a. Especially Barrett.
2278b. Also especially Cloud, Sephiroth, Tifa and Yuffie.
2278c. Anyone in violation of these rules will be pitted against Bizarro-Sephiroth one-on-one. In the nude. Yes I mean both of you.
2278d. See 2278a.
2278e. "Has a badass gun arm" is NOT a valid character background.
2279. When captured and restrained by corp sec/Lonestar/a double-dealing Mr. J/your teammates/your angry landlord, it is not a good idea to yell out: "I CAN BREAK THESE CUFFS!" Even if you probably can.
2279a. Especially if you are an African-American dwarf.
2280. When adressing your rigger teammate (or any rigger NPC) keep the use of phrases such as "My rigger" and "Rigger, please!" to an absolute minimum.
2280a. Especially if said rigger is an African-American dwarf.
2281. Not all riggers are dwarves.*
2281a. Not all dwarves are riggers.*
2282. Not all elves prefer the company of males.*
2282a. Not even all male elves.*
2282b. Not all male elves have long, flowing locks, and slight builds, speak in soft tones of voice and wear androgynous clothing so you're never quite sure
which gender you're dealing with.*

*Only most of them.

2283. Absolutely, positively no Twitter when your team is on a covert op. In character or out.
2283a. Or any op. Or better yet, at all.
2284. The following are unacceptable as background music during an intense battle: James Taylor, Neil Diamond, Sheryl Crow, or Hanson.
2284a. Unless you're being "ironic".
2284b. And don't mind your players ragging you relentlessly for the rest of your life.
2285. The Radical Eco-Shaman is not allowed to wear headbands, tie-die, or sandals, or utter the phrases: "far out", "groovy", or "bad vibes". Not cool, man!
2285a. He is also not allowed to summon beast spirits in the shapes of bears in various bright hues. No matter how much deepweed he's on.
2286. A character may never have the catchphrase: "Screw you guys, I'm going home."
2287. When a teammate is killed, it is unwise to shout, "Oh my gawd, they killed [name]!" "You bastards!" The GM might get some very disturbing ideas.
2288. "Hey hey let's go kickassu!" is funny once. Once.
2289. I am not allowed to steal my teammate's brand new sports car, sell it for parts, and use part of the money to pay the team for the last run. No matter how much said teammate had it coming.
2289a. Especially if this is done with sprites while the team is on a run. (Yes, this actually happened. In my defense: boobies.)
2290. It is unwise to greet every random NPC by shouting: "Are you asking for a CHALLENGE?!" No matter how blue your hair is or how shiny your boots are.
2290a. This is especially true for teammates, contacts, and Johnsons.
2291. Do not, under any circumstances, create a team of acrobat adepts, deck them out in different colored body armor and helmets, and use the catchphrase "It's morphin' time!"
2291a. Seriously, don't.
2292. Astral Hazing is NOT something frat boys do in magical academies.
2293. Speaking of which, no magical academies. Ever. Especially British ones.
2294. The face is not permitted to seduce Mr. Johnson for the sole purpose of producing incriminating footage of him.
2294a. Especially if said face is male.
2295. In regards to 2278a, 2291, and 2293: No. Just no.
2296. It is a sad and lonely person who creates a dumpshock account for the sole purpose of posting on this thread.

2296. It is a sad and lonely awesome person who creates a dumpshock account for the sole purpose of posting on this thread.

Fixed that for you. Well done!

These actually sound like good ideas

Ah, the boobie defense. We find the defendent not guilty!

I'm GM, and my fiance's character is a face with a Seduction spec. Knowing her, she'd want to act out her character's actions with me as Mr. Johnson ^_^

2297: Players who bail on game aren't to be told that their character finally succumbed to a BTL addiction and are destroyed emotional wrecks.
2297a: Nor are the they living in a van down by the river.
2297b: Nor are they involved in the production of a BTL with the title Two Trolls, One Elf.

2298 : I'm no longer allowed to make a 400bp character better than a 450bp character. Even if the GM ask me to. He'll find the character abusing after 2 min of gameplay.
2299: I'm no longer allowed to make mystic adepts with Aspected mage flaw. Gaining magic for free is wrong.
2300: I'm no longer allowed to make a character that is extravagant to a point that just seeing him in the street gives him notoriety.

This thread has been absolutely hilarious and has prompted at least 2 of my friends to get into/get back into Shadowrun. Keep up the good work guys! Unfortunately I'm too new to the game to have had a chance to get into any situations like this yet so nothing to add.

Hehe good to hear I rather enjoy this thread as well. It's a nice change of pace from all the angst and negativity on these forums lately.

2301: Slinkies don't make good distractions.
2302: "Domo arigato Mr. Roboto" is not the proper form of greeting when addressing a cyberzombie or cyborg.
2303: Coke and Alkasletzer doesn't make guards explode into a salsa like substance.
2304: My mentor spirit cannot be Van Hallan the Norse god of rock.
2305: "and then the Drop Bears attack" can't be part of the plan. Or uttered at all, even under my breath.
2306: "This plan needs more Drop Bears" is also right out.

2303a: Coke and Mentos, however...

2307: No longer allowed to plan trips to Australia for the sole purpose of capturing and breeding Drop Bears.
2307a: Especially if I plan to genetically modify them to have brightly colored fur, with distinct patterns across their abdomens.
2307b: Nor may I then turn them into biodrones with embedded technicolor laser weapons.
2307c: Nor can they be ordered to attack with the phrase "Care Bear Stare!"
2308: No Thundercats, even if I can explain it with SURGE, etc.
2309: "By the power of Grey-Skull!" is never to be spoken within earshot of the GM.
2310: No biodrone Great Danes, be they Scoobies or Dynomutts...
2311: I may name my orange Thundercloud Morgan "Speed Buggy", but it may not go "A-vroom-a-zoom-zoom!".
2311a: Same goes for Nordkapp Zugmaschines named "Optimus Prime" and "Autobots, roll out!".
2311b: Or any form of vehicle named "KITT" and "Don't touch Turbo-Boost! Something tells me you shouldn't touch a Turbo-Boost.".
2311c: No vehicle may be named. Ever.
2312: Sending those my character has injured "Get Dead Soon" cards coated in contact spread toxins or diseases is just unnecessarily evil.

2313: I am not to use the phrase "send them a message" as the missions only instructions.
2313a: especially to the teams psychotic troll street sam.

2313: Nac Mac Feagle do not exist in Shadowrun. Period.

2313b. Neither do hedge witches.
2313c. Likewise, what kind of stone under your feed does not effect your magical growth.

2314: No characters based on the superhero portrayed in this film: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mmcw1e2QEFs...feature=related

I disagree. the wee folk are everywhere and are always playable!

2314b. Or this film.

2315: Riggers or mechanics with Scottish accents are forbidden from encouraging people to "think with their dipsticks"
2316: No shouting WOW!! THAT'S A LOW PRICE!!! when negotiating with Mr. Johnson.

2317: The ork street samurai is not to punch two patrons in the balls at the family owned resteraunt were supposed to meet Mr. Johnson at.
2318: I am not to lock are hacker in the trunk of my car for threatening to hack said car and take his comm link away from him.

2318a: Especially if the commlink is internal.

2319. Related, though unique: I may not use Turn to Goo on any PC and dig out their cyberware to "teach them a lesson."

2320: The flaws 'Paranoid' and 'Vindictive' are never to be used together on a character again. Getting even for imagined slights with everyone is counterproductive.
2321: DMSO cocktails is not to be taken literally, even if death by Tequila is a novel idea
2322: The purpose of ruthenium polymer tarps is not to cover concrete dividers placed across the road and taunt go gangs into running into it to get parts for a broken bike
2323: Even if the rules and roles say I take no damage from a bullet at point blank range to the head, I still suffer stun
2324: Even if I make a called shot to the throat with cougar fine blades, I may not argue that the GM has to roll for them choking on their own blood
2325: I may not use Popular Science articles as reference for what I would like to acquire as gear
2326: Buying Missle Mastery does not give me the right or ability to stand in the back of the van and throw everything not nailed down at pursuit with 'called shot to the windshield'

2321a: And my DMSO kamikaze Jello Shots must include vodka, lime juice, and triple sec, NOT Kamikaze. No matter how much more fun the rave is then.
2326a: This includes the troll samurai... or any member of the team, really.
2327: I am no longer allowed to take five minutes of 'quick research' to show the GM why a highly secure fluffwise game piece is utter crap without remembering HE doesn't have a physics degree.
2328: I will no longer attempt to confuse the GM by trying to make it look like the emotitoy is the sentient one and the face sitting behind him is his drone, no matter how well I roll with the cybered pornomancer. The Johnson gets fussy.
2329: When the GM tells me I see a patrolling Doberman, I will stop making jokes about the mailman.
2329a: That goes for any dog-named drone that I've met before.
2330: My rigger is not allowed to create a vehicle weapon mount for the Troll, even if his cyberlimb guns would shoot better while moving if I locked him in that way.
2331: I am not allowed to have the mage stunbolt the cybertroll, tie him to the front of whatever vehicle I'm driving, and use him as a ram prow. Even if he DOES have better armor then anything but the citymaster.
2331a: I AM however allowed to do it if he's awake and willing. I must however to remember to take evil GM smiles into account.

2332: While my voodoo mage's mentor spirit may indeed appear to him as Ronald Reagan, it does not in fact demand that the party go to the ex-President's final resting place to "procure a suitable vessel."

2332a. This applies to all dead famous people.
2332b. This also applies to all living famous people.

2333: I am no longer allowed to roll large steel spheres coated in ruthenium polymer down busy streets as a method of breaking down the front door to a corp building

2333a. Precisely because once it gets blood on it, it's not invisible.
2333b. I am not allowed to roll large steel spheres coated in ruthenium polymer down any street, hallway, or other corridor for any reason.

2334: My Adept is not allowed to belong to a magic group called"Fisting Monks of the Brown Lotus"
2335: Nor can he be a master of Rex-kwon-do, Bulshitsu,or. Wu Tang Whupass.
2336:Opossum style kung fu is also out.

2337: I may not use interpretive dance as a centering or negotiation technique.
2337a: I am never to physically act out the centering or negotiation techniques again, no matter how good I look in tights.
2338: My Qabbalist is not to pose as a rabbi, perform a bris and then use the resulting item as a material link for a powerball spell to slay the child's father.

That's circumcision, right? That would get you a material link for the child but not the dad.

Hence the powerball I think, area attack from the baby outwards to the doating parents.

Nasty but in some ways kind of classy

Yeah, pretty much. Nothing ruins your day like your baby turning into a force 7 handgrenade.

2339: 'The Love Troll' is not an acceptable surname for my characters.
2340: Razorteeth are not acceptable implants for a dwarf.

2341: Using a combination of Reduce (body) and shapechange to turn the teams troll into a hampster with the single use of hiding him in the pocket of a target for a suprise attack when you stop sustaining the spells is right out.
2342: Suggesting the above when the target is known for devient sexual practises is also not allowed

Tell that to the troll in the kilt.

2343. Trolls may no longer wear kilts (but you're free to let him know anytime).

2343a. Male trolls may also no longer wear "Battle Skirts." Females are debatably allowed this privelage, however.

2343b. Only if the females are not going "Commando". Female elves on the other hand...
2344. No longer allowed to inject K-10 into the troll to server as a distraction.
2345. No longer allowed to tell the troll a "modified" version of the plan to serve as a distraction.
2346. No more dwarven movement adepts who have been surgically altered to look like koalas.
2346a. No more movement adepts after I have just played either of the Assassin's Creed games.
2347. "I hit him in the face with an ax" is not polite and not a valid negotiation tactic.

2347b. "I punch him in the face with my fist," however, is completely acceptable (and expected) under the Mud People's laws.

What else would you punch him with?

His fist. "Stop hitting yourself loser."

THIS!